THE 5 IRREFUTABLE LAWS OF INTERNET PERSONALS FOR MEN

1. If there are multiple girls in her personal photo, she is guaranteed to be the ugliest one.

2. Average body-type really means morbidly obese. Athletic means she goes to the gym once a month.

3. Her picture is the best she could possibly look in millions of possibly light and angle configurations. It does not get better. In other words, you will not be pleasantly surprised when you meet her.

4. She is more desperate to find a husband than you can possibly imagine. Think about it, if girls get offered cock daily, why does she need to go online?

5. You MUST pick a venue that serves alcohol to take the edge off her face, which is sure to look like it went through a sander. Makeup can’t work miracles. There is a reason why she needs the distance of the internet to meet men.

25 thoughts on “THE 5 IRREFUTABLE LAWS OF INTERNET PERSONALS FOR MEN

  1. holiday

    Okay, so there are tons of desperate women on the internet looking for love. What I find more questionable is the type of men that go trolling for women on the internet? Do you not have enough game to meet girls in person? Are you preying on girls desperate to be in a relationship?

  2. V

    I feel like I am a second hand expert at Internet dating as I have a friend that is REALLY into it so I know a lot of ins and outs.

    Therefore, I cannot disagree with you on ANY of those points. I would just add the guys online are generally just as “bad,” if not worse, than what these girls are not looking for in the first place.

  3. Whatever

    What about men who internet date? What does that say about them? Seems like you have first hand experience here.

  4. Jesus Christ

    Why do you think I blessed Al Gore with the knowledge to create the internet??? Silly Earthlings.

  5. Anonymous

    the best is the girls on sex dating sites that post that they are looking for a loving caring man that will be respectful….BLAH BLAH BLAH

  6. always write

    I’m *sure* all this information was gathered from your friends, relatives and colleagues. Do your own field study, DCB; Go on 5 or 10 Internet dates and report back to us with your findings.

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