Dear fatties at the gym,
The other day I went for a normal workout and saw a bunch of you at the gym… sweating, grunting, interrupting your workout to talk on the phone. I’ve never seen you before so I’m guessing you made losing weight a New Year’s resolution. Here’s a little 2006 prediction: you will fail. In a matter of weeks (if not days), you will start whining to your fat friends about how you are cursed with a bad metabolism, and how you can’t go to the gym because you don’t have enough time to take off from your busy schedule of watching TV and eating fast-food. “But burgers and fries are so tasty! I love when the fries come fresh out the grease!” You are fat because food owns you. Now please, step aside and stop hogging the incline bench press… you are diluting the value of my gym membership.
(9% body fat)