Author Archives: Dasha

THE DC BACHELOR NAME DROP

DCB, Sally and I were talking about how awesome it would be if we went to a club and named dropped DC Bachelor and it magically got us into the club, no cover charge and possibly no waiting in line. I think I may have come up with a solution…

Remember DCB’s post about Fly Lounge and how the bouncers acted as if there were so many people in the club that they would not let him in? Well, I think I am going to try and become a cocktail waitress there. But, for my interview I am going to actually show up in my flight attendant outfit, so that they will hire me on the spot.

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Ready for take-off

Maybe, if I work there, I can sometimes put up a guestlist and call it DC Bachelor. So name drop away when you come to the velvet rope of exclusion at Fly Lounge. I will be sure to tell my to-be co-workers about this world of blogging and how we have some crazy happy hours, all to draw them into the world of blog reading.

So, I am really hoping my plan will work. The guest list would only be for bloggers and we would start at Fly Lounge and eventually the name dropping of DC Bachelor will reach all of the clubs in DC. Muahahaha. Anyways….Hope you enjoy my outfit for my would be interview. Cheers!

With Love,
Dasha

WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?

A week and a half ago the worst thing happened to me. No, I didn’t get knocked up; I got a flat tire. Boo. I was at the intersection in the only left turning lane by N. Lynn St. right by the Key Bridge. I was looking pretty cute because I got all dressed up for a dinner date. I looked something like this:

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Well, thank God for AAA because they were gonna come in 2 hours! I decided to play a game to see how many guys would offer to help me change my tire. Well, men of DC, you have sorely disappointed me.

The first person to ask if I needed help was a Mexican – man do I love foreigners! He probably could have changed my tire and my oil and cleaned my car. He was driving a van, who knows what (who) was in the back. I turned him down, sadly, because I had to continue with my research. Then a guy who was walking – again foreign! He asked if he could change my tire and I turned him down as well.

Okay, so I coach gymnastics, and I carry my equipment around with me. So guess what I had in my car at the time? A trampoline and a “mailbox” mat. I looked like I was a naughty girl carrying around all this stuff. I recieved many comments from cars driving by about my trampoline. One group of thugged-out white boys my age in a pimped Escalade stopped at the light. The first and only thing they asked was, “Babe, what’s the trampoline for?” I told them I taught gymnastics classes to adults in the nude, and then I told them to fuck off.

I made a quick call to Sally who told me I should try to get people to take my photo. Sadly, this did not work. I tried: I applied lipstick and jumped on my tramp but the only people who offered had cell phones.

The best part of my 3 hours gymnastics show (yes, I waited for 3 long hours), was when the cops came and set up flares! I felt soooo cool and I really wished I had a camera. You should have seen the people pass by and stare. Was there and accident? Where is the other car? Why is there a trampoline? I bet this was what they were asking themselves.

This guy who had been stalking me (he passed me four times within an hour) pulled over and was like I will change you tire. So, I decided AAA was not coming and thank God the cop came back because this guy was very frightening. The cop asked me what the trampoline was for too; I told him the truth, I didn’t want to get arrested for teaching nude gymnastics. 🙂

So, my conclusion is that I saw far too many attractive guys driving very nice cars pass by without stopping to help. Where have all the real men gone? They are all metroed out with American Crew hair gel with their fancy clothes and manicured nails. You could’ve gotten laid by changing my tire! Sike….

By the way, I can change my own tire. Seriously, I was just doing research. But next time I get a flat this is what I will be wearing:

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With Love, Dasha

MAIL ORDER INTERN

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Dobri den! My name is Dasha and I am the new intern here. DCB has been talking a lot about Eastern European girls, so he decided that a mail order intern would be the best idea. So, here I am ready to serve for a small price.

I am of German and Ukrainian descent and my posts are meant to bring a young, edgy and exuberant vibe to DC Bachelor. This is just a brief introduction of myself to everyone, and then I will begin the art of blogging. All of my posts will include a photo that relates somehow to my post, either taken by me or stolen from the internet.

Here are some interesting facts about me:

-I love traveling
-I was a gymnast for 13 years
-I can speak 2 languages
-I haven’t been tainted yet by the DC dating scene, so I will have some great posts about it
-The guy should totally pay on the first date
-I love partying (what European doesn’t?)
Viva Italia! I will be watching on Sunday with the other 14% of Americans

From the USSR with love… Dasha.