Author Archives: DCB

LHH TOMORROW

Check out V’s invite if you haven’t already seen it (there are photos). It will be the only time you’ll see me with glasses.

When you walk in Citron, head downstairs to the basement. There we will have some couches reserved for love-making. I’m not kidding. :hump:

INTRODUCING CHACO

Chaco, good friend, prolific blog commenter, and hall of fame wingman (until her met her), is joining the DCB team. He will be posting every other Thursday starting this week, probably touching on relationships a little bit more than I do.

You can get a feeling for his writing and style through his guest stint at FDDC.

Sleepover time:

I believe firmly that the kiss of death in a relationship is ?too much, too soon.? When it?s too much too, too soon, the girl can go from ?wow this is great!? to ?wow?I need a break? very quickly, and the momentum can be lost just like that. You don?t want that kind of negative vibe in your relationship until you have built a solid foundation.

I’m sure you’re SO hot:

I have a better question: what is the best way to forget her and get another girl? It is very disempowering to have your hopes set on one girl who may or may not ever live near you again. Been there, done that, and it sucks. Your focus should be on new girls. The fact you are even asking this makes me think your game needs work.

The nice guy:

At your age, your socal status is not strictly determined by your professional standing, but more by your standing in your peer group. Are you a leader of the group? Do you set the agenda for what people do? Do the men in the group show you respect? Girls will pick up on your status very acutely, so you need to becomes a leader who commands respect. Don?t be the nice guy who goes along with everyone and allows himself to be the butt of jokes.

Welcome to the lion’s den.

PROXY HATING

The DCist people have struck back. Because they are not allowed to talk about me on DCist for fear of being fired, they are using Big Head Rob to voice their dissatisfaction to my recent comments.

?I?d say that?s indicative of trouble in his own house,? said Jason Linkins, aka the DCeiver, who writes about sports at DCist. ?When he decided to launch his own one-third assed version of Screenhead under the authorship of his cat, my reaction was: ?Oh. He?s over.??

The only trouble I have in my house is a moth problem. Even though it was well-received, it’s safe to say that Furball’s blog will not be going on my resume. Since I’m not a corporate entity hungry for eyeballs, a “failure” on my end still allows me to sleep at night.

The editor, whose firing I called for, was a little bit more feisty.

Cripes, Rob, who the heck is D.C. Bachelor? I think I may recall having heard of his site once or twice before, but after looking it over just now, it?s by no means clear to me why I should take anything he says seriously ? by all evidence he appears to be a self-proclaimed misogynist and all-around disgusting creep.

Has she been talking to my ex’s?

I mean he is selling a T-shirt that says ?I Pump and I Dump? on his site, and in his ?Hall of Fame? posts includes something called ?Girls Lack Conversation Skills.? Ick. Enough said. It seems obvious we are not catering to readers like him, so I?m not surprised he doesn?t like our site. I couldn?t care less.

With that kind of bitter attitude, it’s just a matter of time until she writes in to FDDC asking, “Why can’t I meet a man???” We get them all the time. I would like to extend an invitation to her for the Lovers Happy Hour; it’s much more fun to call me a disgusting creep in person than on the internet. I know girls who have done it and they tell me how great it made them feel.

I think in their haste to attack me, they forgot to address any of the points I brought up explaining their slow death. I’m sure they will get to it soon — after the next classical music agenda installment.

IF I WAS A GIRL

If I was a girl, I wouldn’t sleep with guys so soon. This advice cockblocks me, but the best defense — to a man whose main goal is to sleep with girls as fast as possible — is to wait, especially since most guys are only willing to have sex with you once and never again. You don’t want to put out until a guy shows time investment.

But how much time investment?

Enough so that if the sex is bad, his first instinct is not to dump you. While I don’t believe in time invested, almost all other guys do. If he spent a lot of time getting you in bed, he will be less willing to “throw it all away” just because you didn’t give enthusiastic oral sex.

Waiting will only work if you are a quality woman. The amount of quality you need to have depends on the kind of guy you are going after: the higher status male, the more you must have your shit together. If you want to land him, and you think he wants to be landed by you, then you need a better strategy than answering the phone on the third ring and relying on advice from girlfriends who have watched too many movies.

I asked myself, “What would work on me?” What could a girl say to me on date two, three, or — doubtfully — four that would still keep me hanging on even though we weren’t having sex? I embraced my feminine side and came up with something that, if said to me by a girl I liked, may keep me in the game:

I want to be intimate as much as you do, but sex is something that is very important to me. It takes a lot of trust and time for me to do that. I don’t date multiple guys and I don’t care about where you take me out, but sex is one thing that we should wait for. I don’t know how long it will take and I can’t promise that anything that will happen, but you are the only guy that I’m seeing right now. If you can be patient and we can spend some time together, I want to see where this goes.

There are five things that were communicated there:

1. She is not a whore.
2. She is not a spinster or serial dater.
3. She is not trying to spend my money.
4. She is probably not playing games.
5. She is not needy.

If I was a girl, I would maybe say that to guys. Most would walk away, but I’m sure some wouldn’t. It doesn’t completely solve the problem of getting pumped and dumped, but is sure does a good job screening out guys like me, who find it unnecessary to wait for sex past date two.

FACIAL NEEDED

A couple visitors have been coming here from a new blog called Urban Cowgirl. It takes me a while to warm up to a new blog — unless of course it’s written by a girl who puts up semi-nude pictures of herself. She looks like she would know how to please a man in bed. Now if only hedonistic would give us some facials instead of body shots. We get it, your body is nice for an older lady. But the face?

Robert Greene, the author of The 48 Laws Of Power, The Art of Seduction, and The 33 Strategies of War started a blog not too long ago called Power, Seduction, and War. Better go to the bathroom and grab some food before you start reading.

I just discovered The Dilbert Blog written by Scott Adams. Highly recommended.

My favorite blog right now, without a doubt, is Whiskey Bar.

Postscript: Urban Cowgirl does not appreciate the exposure that my linkage gave to her. Her blog is now password protected. I am granting her request to remove her link because she apparently has discussed activities which may not be suitable to readers who work for law enforcement agencies. According to commenters who actually read her blog — instead of only browsing through pictures like I did — she takes the time to entertain gentleman callers, if you know what I mean. *WINK WINK* :hump: :hump: *TRIPLE WINK* bj.gif bj.gif

LOVERS HAPPY HOUR

The Haters Happy Hour is no more. A new era begins…

Hosts: Me & Sally, Circle V

When: Thursday, October 19 @ 8PM

Where: Cafe Citron

citronlovers.JPG
Lovers at Citron… a long long time ago

I used to throw happy hours with my friend Insomnia. We lost interest after a while; I turned to DJ’ing and he got a girlfriend. But now the itch is back and V was the first person I asked to do this with me. Whenever I see her out, she’s always drinking and having a good time. She never makes drama. And of course no happy hour is complete without the lovely Sally. You haven’t lived until you see her awesome dance moves. :amused:

“Why is it called the Lovers Happy Hour?”

Oh, you’ll see. :hump: