BACHELORETTE IN THE CITY

After months of living like a bachelor (no pots, no pans, Chinese takeout on speed dial) , I have decided to buy some furniture.

I don’t really need a place to sit – other than at my desk. And, I already have my bedroom the way I want it. But, after a long-time D.C. bachelor came to visit me this weekend and said, “Wow … you are more of a bachelor than I am,” as he eyed my condom collection, and then walked into my naked living room, it became blatantly obvious: I need to step it up a notch in the home furnishings department.

Right now, I have a very clean slate. Randy McGovern would have a field day. Regarding space, oh, you might say I have some to fill. My living room consists of a fireplace, some recessed lighting, a balcony that overlooks the pool (might need a chair for this area … good hottie-watching spot) and walls, several bare walls.

So, as you make your New Year’s resolutions this week, know that I’ve already started to work on mine. Instead of putting 150% of myself into work, I plan to take a good 10% of my time and put it into planning the perfect living space.

And, if that doesn’t work, I’ll pick up the phone and call Kerry Joyce.

But, I am doing the living room and that’s it. Because nobody, and I mean nobody – not even that cutesy Kerry – will convince me that I have room in my life for anything more kitchenesque than a French press.

I am sooo not turning into a home-makeover Charlotte.

33 thoughts on “BACHELORETTE IN THE CITY

  1. Anonymous

    Condom collection. Wow are we still bitter at the ex. Trying to get under his skin with silly posts like only shows how pathetic you really are and we are not fooled.

    Why don’t you take your broken hear, bitter feeling and start writing some bluegrass songs. Bluegrass has come along way since that movie Oh Brother. You can call yours, “O Lukeduke, Where Art Thou”

  2. Brian

    Hey I’m-afraid-to-have-my-identity-known-not-because-of-super-powers-but-because-I-can’t-stand-confrontation-and-like-to-have-resentment, it sounds like that the condom collection got more under your skin than Luke is under her’s.

  3. C

    No one cares about your apartment and lack of furnishings. That post was neither funny nor insightful. This blog is now like all the others…

  4. Anonymous

    I love that Adam is copping DCB’s standard comments, and trying to pimp his defunct blog.

    NOBODY CARES, JACKASS. I know your life is empty since Robin/Florist dumped you, but if you’re gonna leave the blog shit, just leave it, dude.

  5. V

    Whew, it is interesting how some of these comments are from old school bloggers (Pre-WS) and some from the new class (post-KAC)…but united in the hating.

    Interesting…

  6. RCR

    If you call this hating then y’all need to go back to hating school. Go write a bluegrass song? Go watch My Fair Lady? Dude, so weak.

  7. Anonymous

    i am sorry, but this is just getting to be too much. i was just getting my friends turned on to this site and then that guy takes off and leaves us with shit like this “Instead of putting 150% of myself into work, I plan to take a good 10% of my time and put it into planning the perfect living space.” does he do that alot? just take off and put whoever in charge?

  8. TheWho

    I do not think this is KAC. Why is everyone so obsessed with KAC. It is all I hear. I was in Ohio for Christmas and two people asked me about her when I said I was from DC!

  9. not the senator

    no one in dc is interested – in any way – in this. however, dcb, please re-own your blog. let others have their own. or i, for one, am going to stop tuning in. i click on to hear from you. not anyone else.

  10. Donner un Coup de Pied

    You’re all clearly the smallest bunch of losers on the East Coast. And I thought DC was bad enough when I lived there – you people have taken it to new depths. You all think its the center of the universe don’t you? Sitting there in your dingy AM apartment or shithole in Arlington. Let me tell you that DC is not a world city nor can it be – its a backwater District that happens to house your brain-damaged President and pea-brained henchmen! Thank God for 5 years, 3,000 miles and 30d F! Remember, its a big world out there and you could explore it. Or, perhaps, not.

  11. Anonymous

    The sad thing is that most of the people are pushing 30. After reading some of these blogs for several months it is pretty obvious to me that they miss high school very badly.

  12. You are weak

    What ever happened to free speach? I guess things got a little to hot for MM aka KAC to handle. Weak, weak, weak. This site officialy sucks now. DCB, you are a sell out in the worst way. First you let her come on her and write stupid, empty posts. She must have been trying to vent her frustrations. Poor girl.

  13. Anonymous

    Very lame that you deleted the comment about MM’s frisky poses and how she kept text messaging her ex and signing it “cosmic buddy”= it was grade A entertainment. Not her blog, but the comments. Down with censorship!!

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