It’s sad when I see a girl with bad game. She just doesn’t get it, and probably never will. There is no one but her parents to blame for not developing her self-esteem enough to be wanted by men, regardless of her physical flaws. The list below compares how girls with bad game and good game act to someone they are interested in.
Bad Game: “I’m busy.”
Good Game: “Ummm, sure okay. :)”
The girl with bad game always goes to a default of “I’m busy,” the hallmark of an amateur. She takes the ‘appear scarce’ rule a bit too seriously, when all it’s meant to do is prevent overexposure to someone new you are dating. For instance if I go on a first date with a girl, why would I start calling her every day after that? I would hope to think most men have their own lives, and wouldn’t immediately change that just because they went out with someone new. The girl with good game is all too aware that guys see through “I’m busy,” and will do more subtle moves such as planting ambiguous seeds of doubt as he tries to take things to the next level. These hesitations are effective because it makes a guy wonder why she isn’t responding enthusiastically. It’s flirting on an advanced level.
Bad Game: Lets you kiss her very soon
Good Game: Makes you suffer
Most girls are too easy. With a couple drinks in them you simply need to keep moving in until you kiss. A few years ago I went out with a very cute girl on a date. After a couple hours of conversation I swear she wanted me to kiss her but she kept pulling back gently and smiling every time I tried to get close. I felt weird because I didn’t understand what was going on. But after pulling back she would continue to touch me, confusing me even more. Even after I had her laying on my bed, she still wouldn’t let me kiss her. It was only then that she sensed how frustrated I was and relented, leading to a very memorable night. Compare this to the club slut that let you stick your tongue down her throat after ten minutes: Which girl am I going to take more seriously?
Bad Game: Plays hard to get to make you like them
Good Game: Plays hard to get because she knows you like it
Intent makes a world of difference. Pulling back on me because you are insecure about your own attractability is completely different than pulling back to arouse me. Amateurs constantly worry about themselves and the image they portray, while good game girls are confident in their ability to attract you and will play the game to see how worked up they can make you.
Bad Game: Takes your shit
Good Game: Gives it to you right back
A girl who is generally insecure does not like her balls busted. She simply can’t handle it because you are picking at her fragile ego. On the other hand a confident girl will dish it right back at you, fostering a more playful relationship. With the bad game girl you are always treading on thin ice because you wonder if the next thing you say will make her cry. She takes herself too seriously, and expects you to treat her so.
Bad Game: Calls at predetermined times
Good Game: Calls when she wants to talk to
Bad game girls set up rules of engagement when calling men. This is obvious when you leave a message and she returns your call at exactly the one or two hour mark. The good game girl does not do this. She can call you back within a minute, a day, whenever. She does not think about how the call makes her appear in your eyes, whether you will like her less because not enough time has passed.
Bad Game: Doesn’t like silences
Good Game: Understands that the silences make the relationship
It’s easy to tell when the bad game girl is uncomfortable: she starts looking around nervously, and fidgets more with her hands and legs. She can hold eye contact only for a couple of seconds. Girls who can’t appreciate a good silence likes to fill the air with random conversation, as if she is uncomfortable with hearing the thoughts in her head, like the ipod addicts who can’t live life without some distraction in their ears. The good game girl has the ability to stare into your eyes indefinitely, making you feel relaxed yet aroused at the same time.
Bad Game: Goes crazy after sex
Good Game: Relaxes after sex
A bad game girl’s most vulnerable moment is right after she has sex with someone new. She constantly questions herself and if she did the right thing, if she slept with a man who really does like her for more than sex. This confusion usually prompts her to play the game even harder to see where she stands with him. The good game girl approaches things differently. After sex she has no regrets about what she has done because she lives in the moment. She doesn’t plan things out based on how you will perceive it, but plans them out based on how she feels. After sex she relaxes and puts away most of the bullshit games that come with meeting someone new.
A girl with bad game is driven by insecurity, while a girl with good game is driven by confidence. It’s that confidence tied with intelligence and independence that separate the pump and dumps from the keepers. Unfortunately they are so rare that many men choose to settle with someone who is simply good enough.
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My Pick-Up Guide:
They need to teach this shit in school along with sex ed. On the other hand, if they taught this to guys…it still wouldn’t work. The blind leading the blind…
Of the one billion girls I’ve ever met, about seven fit into the good game designation. This is a sad world. Or I have bad company.
I think some girls have a combination of good and bad game…and it depends on age and experience as well.
Great list – do you have a pocket guide?
Great list. Can I add another?
Bad game: is shy about giving head
Good game: slurps that knob like a superstar
This is an excellent list. I don’t give this as much thought as I should, well done.
It would seem, based on your criteria, that I have *some* game. But not much. :hmm:
good list… but you can’t expect all of these things from the women you meet. it’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to yourself either. these days I’m being careful to keep my expectations in check whenever I meet someone new, and keep in mind that no one is perfect – but one thing I WOULD expect from the women I meet is that I expect them to be aware that no one is perfect either, so when they meet me, I don’t want them expecting so much from me.
Grow some balls Nabeel. Stop being such a fag
O Lord have mercy! Why are you encouraging girls to withold kissing us?! Encouraging curelty and sexual frustration, both ours and theirs, is not healthy. Good game is women who are comfortable with their sexuality and kiss men as soon as they want because it feels good, and have the confidence to know they have enough going on that the guy won’t refuse to call her ever again (for doing what he wanted in the first place).
like chics have a monopoly on bad game?
That was an excellent post DCB.
I think the silence test is key. If we’re compatible, I should be able to enjoy the silent moments together as much as the conversation. Not point in making idle small talk all the time. It’s like diarrhea of the mouth.
holiday – vocab word for you – logorrhea
anonymous city girl: Sure, girls don’t have a monopoly on bad game, but where does DCB say anything about the game of guys here? That’s not what the post was about.
C’mon, try to stay on topic here people.
Kathryn-I had to look it up, but thanks for the reference.
I figured you’d want to know how to suggest ‘diarrhea of the mouth’ in as few words as possible.
And if I just gave you the meaning outright, how would you learn? Now you’ll remember it forever.
The more you know…
Two great posts in a row… you’re on a roll.
What is to be said for those who flip flop between good game/bad game with some of these situations?
the senator, if what you just said came from someone who posted intelligent comments that spark lots of discussion about things other than your sexual orientation… I might’ve been offended.
Chaco, thats what I thought until I realized that the best relationships with women that I’ve had was when we did NOT rush it… and whenever me and some woman went right into it physically, it never lasted that long. but hey, it all depends on what you’re after – casual sex or meaningful relationships. just the way it is – don’t ask me why.
What I really love about your list DCB, is how your measure of game all revolves around how great she makes YOU feel, how aroused YOU get, and how happy YOU are. And games. What fun games are. Seems to be rather irrelevent what the lady wants from you/relationships/sex/etc. Bravo.
Jane, you sound like the bad game girl he is talking about. “What about me!?” you’re screaming. When what he is trying to tell you is that if you are trying to get a attract a guy then these are hard and fast rules that apply to pretty much all men.
This list could easily apply to men as well– read it through a second time and reverse the genders– it’s just about people when it comes down to it.
this post was modeled after me and you know it.
JP, nah.. jane has a point. a woman can as easily make a list of what guys should do to make her feel good and give her what she wants. dcb is doing that right here. it’s not a bad list though, but there has to be some compromise in a relationship as it’s not fair to expect the other to do everything you want.
Hmmm… I feel about 70/30 about the accuracy of this list… I need to reread and think on it.
‘Win a Date with DCB…’
dudes, this post is confusing to me for the reason that the whole list is revovling around how a chick makes us guys feel. When a chick goes out to a club or wherever, she does not think about how great she is gonna make some guy feel, she thinks about hooking up with a guy. Even if she does think to put all her effort into turning us on, its only to make sure she will feel good. Its the same for us… i dont know any dude who says “i’m gonna make some chick feel great tonight”. If girls play games to make us horny, then we play games to turn them on, and i dont know if thats right… personally i play games to get some pussy, and if i feel like it ill be “real” to a chick to have a relationship… if your playing a “game” and she’s playing a “game” and its both turning you on, then great, but there wont be a long term relationship at the end of it… which to me is what this list is about – “how to keep a guy”… Some issues you bring up are good, like a chick who wont take your shit or a complete doormat, but they will be there whether or not she is trying to pick you up. Its self esteem dudes and it aint gonna change because some girl wants to somehow aquire “good game”. And even if she did the “good game” thing to pick up her issues are still gonna come to the surface in the morning. Your attraction to her is fake. I say be real and if you dont get the chick you want then she isnt the woman for you anyway. and if the chick is crazy after sex or she wont let you kiss her, then she isnt the girlfriend your after, she is a pussy to stick your cock into and someone to leave as soon as she starts to annoy you…. that what i think anyway…
oh, and “the senator”, your a fucking idiot bigot for calling someone a fag because they show some thought about a subject… Ask yourself why when an idea offends you, you suddenly ask if they have balls, and call them a fag – why are you even thinking about that kind thing? gay never enters my head, not even as an insult…. stop thinking about that crap and learn to ignore things you dont like… dickhead
ha… i think “senator” is a chick… thats about 10 times worse… i hope someone is insensitive enough to fuck her when she dont want them to…
mann this is one of the BEST posts i have ever read in a long time. u r spot on. thanks bro
You just blew my mind. Brilliant.
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I think the media makes girls insecure… well at least it helps making them insecure. all the hot chicks in the mags, and on TV. just everything really. but still.
I’ve recently went on a first date with a girl that totally fits the ‘good game’ description. shes very intelligent, kicks my ass in a few subjects at uni, and has some very interesting stories to tell.. so far so good, definitely a keeper.
i agree, totally spoton.. i have recommended all my males friends this site. The thing is, you are chasing us for sex and we know it, so we have the power as soon as we give it up there is a level “oh what the fuck did i do that for” for me anyway…. also i have had a kid, so i would be insecure, so i would feel insecure i suppose.
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