BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY

There is no drink in the world as delicious as a Bloody Mary. I’ll even put a bloody ahead of Dr. Pepper, which runs a close second, followed third by a chocolate milk (Hershey’s syrup and 1% organic milk is best).

At present, I have no fewer than three distinct bloody mary mixes at my house, along with a bottle of Tito’s Handmade Vodka which is really the ideal mixer. Allow me to quantify my love of the bloody:

-I convinced my friends to have bloody marys with Thanksgiving dinner.
-Once, my then-boyfriend and I went to brunch with the intent of afterwards buying tennis rackets at Target and playing tennis. But we started drinking bloody marys, and couldn’t stop, and we neglected all of our errands.
-At least twice I’ve ordered a bloody at a decidedly non-bloody function and people have stopped to say, “oh, your signature drink!”
-I’ve lugged a shopping bag full of bloody fixins on the metro from Chouse to Cheights.
-I’ve had so many bloodys in one sitting that my poo-poo turned reddish color.

Any time a food-vending establishment claims to have “great bloody marys” I have to try them out for myself. I’ve had bloodys at a number of places around town but the best, by far, is Meze on 18th Street. I asked the bartender what kind of mix he used, and he refused to tell me, but then I just ordered another bloody and spied on him (it’s Major Peter’s [heh heh] bloody mix and Absolut Peppar. Dash of Worcester if you like, a bit of lime juice and salt the glass if you are so inclined but that silly Turk will give you hell about it if you ask him to do so). This bloody is particularly fresh and the color of real blood, which now that I think about it might be kind of a cool addition if you’re into that sort of thing.

There’s an all-you-can-drink bloody bar at Sign of the Whale for $9.99, but I do not recommend this unless you have all the time in the G.d. world as the waitress on the weekend afternoons is a crazy old coot who I swear was drunk on Sunday morning once. She is quite belligerent – even when she is not drunk – and takes forever to bring you your glasses of vodka so although it seems like a great deal you can be there for three hours and drink just three bloodys.

Another excellent bloody is to be found at Bourbon on 18th St, where the mix has a smoky, barbecuesque flavor. Additionally, the glass is salted with Old Bay mixed in – delicious.

The bloodies at Front Page, Rumba Cafe, and 4th Estate are fairly watery. I do not much enjoy them. Same goes for Pharmacy Bar, where there is some kind of bizarre whitish-colored chunks in the mix. It’s kind of like drinking vomit if you think about it too hard, and since the bloody is usually the only thing that can vanquish my hangovers, thinking about vomit is incongruous to hangover defeat.

24 thoughts on “BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY

  1. V

    Have you tried the Bloody at Logan Tavern? You get to build your own and it’s spectacular.

  2. TC the Terrible

    “I?ve had so many bloodys in one sitting that my poo-poo turned reddish color.”

    Sally,

    Was it the drinks that turned your poo red, or the carnel acts committed under the influence of bloodys that turned your poo red? Just curious because I’ve drank bloodys until my sweat smelled like tomatoes before, but I’ve never had enough to turn my poo red.

    TC

  3. Kathryn

    Isn’t that horseradish in the ones at Pharmacy Bar? Some people are diehards about having horseradish in their Bloodys…

    Poste serves Bloodys sans horseradish. I once saw a woman bring in her own and add it to the mix.

  4. Anonymous

    I love bloody marys so much that i purchased fixins online at grocer.com, and had them send it to me in Iraq. I made bloodys every friday at noon for a year for me and my colleagues……

  5. ribald

    The bloody mary at Lauriol Plaza — how do I put this — tastes probably like my ass does on a bad day of the runs. Then again, everything there tastes rank, except the salsa and frozen ‘ritas, for some reason the horribly unattentive staff gets those foodstuffs right. But I do enjoy internally mocking all the pedestrian suburbanite (“Jill, OMG, your new pleated capris and matching sweater sweat are SO gonna get you an aryan, non-threatening hottie tonight! More chablis for you, gurl-friend!”) and hyper-eurotrash (“Rahim, next we go molest blonde infidel at Blue Gin after this, ya?”) suckers who wait up to 2.5 hours to eat dinner at that hell-hole. (And the copious amounts of food/slop they throw away attracts legions of rats to the ‘hood, most decidedly uncool.)

  6. Sweatpants

    Ugh, bloody marys are so gross, even when they’re good. I have no clue how you could drink such an abomination, let alone enjoy it, but I salute your diligent research.

  7. Sally

    TC, that hasn’t “actually” happened, it’s a little joke for my friends reading.

    Anon, now that is some dedication. Bloodys in a war zone? You should be in some kind of record book.

  8. Jamie

    “some kind of bizarre whitish-colored chunks in the mix”

    those chunks could possible by horseraddish.

    You should try the bloodys at Bar Pilar…or maybe St Ex. I’m not sure which restaurant. They’re quite unique. I have a friend who swears by them.I want to say that they have something to do with bacon?

  9. Adam

    Amen Ribald – I enjoy laughing at the poor souls at Lauriol Plaza as they shell out upwards of $50 for dinner and drinks while I sit on my roof top deck with a much better view, cheaper, better drinks and much better guacamole and look down on them. I think I may invest in a paintball gun so that I can randomly pick off anybody who has their collar in an upright position.

  10. dcb commenters

    holiday, no one cares what you drink. everyone here hates your comments, just like in real life

  11. hedonistic

    Bloody Marys make a good breakfast, but for evening fare, I’ve got an addiction to key lime martinis. And espresso martinis. You’ve just reminded me I need to go to the liquor store and restock. Thank you!

  12. Ned

    to make a delicious bloody mary at home, all you need is to make the drink half zingzang bloody mary mix, half clamato juice (plus your vodka of course). Mmmmmm

  13. Anonymous

    I don’t know if you’ve ever had a Bloody in Wisconsin, but they’re the BEST. They’re served with a half a glass of lite beer on the side as a chaser. And inside the Mary is any combo or variation of a pickle, celery stick, piece of Slim Jim sausage, and olives. It’s like getting two drinks and a meal in one.

  14. Charlotte

    I can only imagine that Sally would consider a bloody mary-slim jim combo to be the best thing this earthly world has to offer her.

  15. Michael

    Cashion’s has my favourite Bloody Mary. It’s got lots of horseradish in it (the white chunks), which I really like, and a dash of cumin which is a nice surprise. Very spicy.

  16. Pagan Marbury

    Have you been to the Starboard in Dewey Beach? Their World Famous Bloody Mary Bar spans an entire 12 foot wall, with mixers, spices, and vegetables for you to make your own. Plus, they’re huge. It’s a do-not-miss for any Bloody connoiseur.

  17. Lonnie Bruner

    FYI: By ATF edict, vodka is “odorless, colorless and flavorless”. It doesn’t matter what kind of vodka you put in a mixer; you’ll never be able to detect the difference.

  18. Shmaiza

    If you love bloody marys so much, why don’t you marry them? Why don’t you take them to Four Courts and make out with them?

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  20. Renee

    I will now go on my quest for the best bloody mary’s….ones that don’t do strange things to my ass…..

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