BROOKE SHIELDS IS JEALOUS

Tom Cruise is a douche, but he gets major props for dating Katie Holmes, no matter what has-been Brooke Shields says.

Shields had a ready tongue, hitting in Cruise?s relationship, by offering him a child ticket so he can take Holmes to see her in hit London musical Chicago. She says: “If he wants to see Chicago, I’ve left him two tickets – one adult, one child.”

Another attempt by older women to bring down their youthful counterparts. Why wouldn’t a guy want to date a girl in her 20’s twenties versus a 45 year old? There are exceptions and some women hold onto their looks into their 30’s, but most don’t. I lost count on how many times I met a hot girl’s mom and wondered if she was adopted. It just fades.

I go to the clubs and see a bunch of 28 year old women who still want to live like they are 20. When I was 22 and going out, I used to feel really insecure after an older woman asked me my age. I’d come up with funny responses so I wouldn’t be placed out the running for a chance with an older, experienced woman. But the past year I realized that the “older, experienced” thing is just another bogus myth I can erase from my head. It seems like the only girls who aren’t corrupted by the nightlife scene and Sex And The City are under 22.

As you get older the only thing you realize that has worth in this life is youth. Hope you didn’t waste yours.

74 thoughts on “BROOKE SHIELDS IS JEALOUS

  1. Marc

    Yeah, I figure by the time I want to get married I’ll be looking for a woman who is smart, sexy, reasonably mature(that’s a lot to ask for), and right out of college.

    Tom Cruise has the right perspective. He’s been getting hot trim since day 1, and now all that original vagina is sagging, time to freshen it up.

    He got rid of Nicole at just the right time.

    Now if only he would work on ditching that scientology garbage…

  2. Anonymous

    under 22? You’ve gotta be kidding me DCB. Have fun with your 20 year olds- and have fun hooking up in their parents’ beds. Hope you like listening to Justin Timberlake CDs.

  3. The Senator

    Interesting post.

    A couple of things:

    1. Dating older women is like drinking fine wine, my friend.

    2. With that said, there is a time and place for Boone’s Farm.

  4. Anonymous

    You’ll modified these thoughts one day boys when you finally quit thinking mostly with your nuts.

  5. a_unique_alias

    “Another attempt by older women to bring down their youthful counterparts.”

    I think she was trying to respond in kind to his ungraceful attack on her personal life (involving her use of the antidepressant Paxil while suffering postpartum depression.)

    I doubt it has anything to do with jealousy . . . honestly, have you seen the herpes on that girl?

  6. Eugenius

    See…..what all the evil haters dont understand is that when you bone someone younger than 22 it gives you a “fountain of youth” feeling. (Fresh meat, gullable, easily manipulated, you are in control.

    Girls that hate on this…are only hating because they are probably older and cannot provide that satisfactory feeling, or simply playing hard to get. We all know young meat loves older guys.

    Guys that hate on this…..simply confirm that they never had a chance to try, and have no ability to dip in such a “fountain,” or are just trying to convince themselves that they are picky……riiiight….

  7. Anonymous

    Eugenius… go throw yourself off a cliff. Or better, i hope you contract herpes through all your philandering with college chicks. That is, if youre not actually some loser who sits at home surfing internet porn and never has contact with an actual female. Which, from the tone of your blog, sounds about right.

  8. Aja

    How does a 22 year old act in a club versus a 28 year old? Do they dress diffrently, order different drinks, do old dances like the robot? Who are you right now? I am 30, still go to the club just to dance, that is what I did when I was 15, 21, 25 and still to this day. Please explain this “I go to the clubs and see a bunch of 28 year old women who still want to live like they are 20.” Because now you just sound ignorant. Sure some older women get pissed when they see older men with younger women, but those women have issues, so it’s whack that you think all older women hold a grudge. I am not holding on to my youth, its holding on to me. I get carded everytime, someone thought I was getting my hair done to go to prom, it is not your age, but how you let the world age you. Brooke Shields is just worn.

  9. Anonymous

    DCB,

    I’d be surprised if you were getting action from women of any age. I mean…you sport a soul patch and blog about “whores vs. conservative girls”… as if you would know. Why don’t you write about something you really know…like portable blow up dolls.

  10. DCB Post author

    personal attacks tell me that what im observing is at least somewhat accurate.

    “I?d be surprised if you were getting action from women of any age. I mean?you sport a soul patch and blog about ?whores vs. conservative girls?? as if you would know.”

    Yeah and you come back here every day to read every word I have to say… so whats your point?

  11. Anonymous

    By far your worst post. Perhaps the salad days of this blog have come and gone. Alas, it was fun while it lasted.

  12. J.P.

    You girls are ridiculous. I actually date someone older than me and I have absolutely no desire to date someone who is 20. The problem is that some girls feel they can get away with being rude, abusive, or premadonnas ala Sex and the City forever because of their looks. This probably works fine when they are 23, but after 4 or five years of free appletinis and coke they don’t look so hot any more, some other 23 year old is there to replace them, and people don’t feel like putting up with their bad attitude.

    As DCB points out- we all age- it’s inevitable. The same can be said of guys actually. Many of the asshole jocks I knew in high school and college now have beer bellies and are losing their hair. They aren’t getting many dates these days and I bet you ladies don’t have much sympathy for them either.

  13. Anonymous

    Hahahaha! You guys are f*ing idiots. The same exact thing applies to men. Look at demi moore and ashton kutcher. Not all 40 something year old women will look as good as her, and definitely not all 40 something men will look as good as Tom Cruise, who happens to also be really rich and really famous, which makes anyone more appealling. You guys in your 20somethings will NEVER be that attractive,rich or famous so hold on to your hats, cuz your aging, too, and these young chicks & old won’t give your soon to be pot-belly, balding/and or growing hair where you don’t want it, head expanding( mens heads get fat as they age) with no depth the time of day!

  14. Anonymous

    Good work…not only do i totally agree…i just married a young woman…its perfect

  15. Snoop Shizzout

    Young bitchez, old bitchez, teenaga n senior citizens, if tha snoop feels tha urge no ID or chizzay bizzay certificate stoppn da bow diznown ta tha bow wow. If tha flizzesh is sizzay n tha mood is R-to-tha-izzles snoop dizzogg plays it tizzight, ya fizzy me?

    It dizzay stizzop T-to-tha-izzles tha wheels fall off. Aint no stoppin this shizzit nigga ta help you tap dat ass.

  16. Anonymous

    DCB – I am your biggest fan but this post was so bad. Go back to making me laugh.

  17. Anonymous

    If your significant other is really “into you”…I can assure you that he’s not going to throw you over for a 20-year old. That said…”Sex in the City” was a cultural phenomenom that ran for seven years…the subject matter?…confident women in their 30’s (in the case of Kim Cattrell…40’s). I’m in my early 30’s and get hit on by 20-somethings, 30-somethings and some 40-somethings. Aging is not something I think or worry about…too busy having fun and enjoying my life. Girls…the post by DCB is provocative and meant to get a rise out of us…we can’t honestly take this stuff seriously. 🙂

  18. nabeel

    yeah tom cruise may be rich and famous, but he made a baby out of himself on Oprah. I mean, c’mon… a 42 year old flailing about and kneeling on the floor wailing to the heavens “i loooove you katieeeee!” it was sooo funny, yet it looked pathetic for a 40-something man who is supposed to have all his sh*t together

  19. Kathryn

    For the record, Brooke isn’t jealous of shit. Tom publicly berated her for using anti-depressants to treat her post-partum depression, saying she should just take vitamins. The lady is striking back, and right now, he’s a pretty easy target.

    Your take on events, however, is just laughable.

  20. Anonymous

    Posted earlier and forgot to add:
    DCB…you need to get your facts straight about Brooke Shields. She didn’t make remarks regarding Tom Cruise out of jealousy over Katie Holmes. Tom publically criticized Brooke (went on a tirade actually) for her using the anti-depressant Paxil when she was suffering from post-partum depression. She have every right to put that douch in his place. He has gall to judge he actions when is neither a physician or a woman. Enough said.

  21. L. Ron Hubbard

    The churches of Scientology is extending an invitation to you to receive an OCA Personality Test and evaluation free of any charge or obligation.

    Your personality has everything to do with your income, your future, your personal relationships, your life and your blog.

    A test of this kind would normally cost you $500.00 and up. It is offered to you here free of charge as a public service.

    If you are not happy with life, you can find out why.

  22. Anonymous

    Sorry…I noticed that I made a number of spelling errors in my previous post. Tom is a “douche” not “douch”…well.. you get the idea.

  23. Anonymous

    DCB, you totally contradict yourself. Katie Holmes is 26, thereby defeating the point.

  24. the g.

    Who made 28 the new 65? Damn, should I start applying for AARP benefits? I’m so out of the loop.

    This site is by far the funniest I have ever read. I think I’m hip to the joke. Anyways, I hope there’s a joke you tread such a thin line between genius (I’m keeping my fingers crossed) and making my head explode.

    If there is no joke, well, then: Gag. Most of the time, when my (exceptionally hot, ever-aging) girlfriends read this site, they laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh…… and laugh……. and not WITH you.

    I get you, man. No one’s really like this, it’s all for your stat counter and comments section. Well played, DCB!

    But I think some of your commenters are serious, which is mind-boggling. If they really wanted to plug into a scene consisting of super-dumb, bleached-out twenty year old women with no brain cells, no real sexual experience, no self-esteem, and a closet full of flouncy minis: then they’re heading the right path and I wish them much luck. Keep trading down for the younger ones, you’re right, because lasses like that DON’T age well. But I’d be willing to bet they aren’t any good young either, so you’re screwed in that game.

    (And a quick note to all those young women who are just “sooooo glad to be young and cute and stuff OMG!!!1 and not aging yet!” : You will. And, re-read, please. According to DCB+Friends, you’re described as easily manipulated, gullible and being used to make boys like this feel young. And probably comb their soulpatches or something. Us ancients are just old, haggy, bitter beasts. I’d rather be the beast, quite honestly.)

    Yours truly,
    Appletinis Are Some Foul Shit

  25. Dating Hell Diarist

    It’s definitely important to note that of guys over 40, about 99.999% are not attractive even to women of their own age, let alone the 20something golddiggers who might want to use them for their money. You say that *women* go downhill after a certain age? Hahaha. Just wait till you’re 40, you’ll wish you had said nicer things about Brooke ’cause you’ll totally be wanting to date her, and she’ll be all like: No way DCB, you’re all .. 40 … and stuff. Ew.

  26. Lady Jane Grey

    Lady Jane says: DC Bachelor makes Jungian analysis worthwhile. I *heart* latent misogyny.

  27. LL

    Context, people:

    Brooke Shields was reacting to Tom Cruise’s unwarranted criticsm of her seeking medical treatment for post-partum depression. While she certainly didn’t respond in the most fair, mature fashion she could have (I mean, what does Katie Holmes have to do with it?), it’s kind of understandable that she was pissed. Cruise mouthed off with unsolicited (and uneducated) advice about her, she responded in kind. Brooke wasn’t being vicious to 20-somethings, she was being vicious to Cruise’s “holier-than-thou” attitude.

    More context:

    If you are a smart, fun, kind person who takes care of him or herself, you’ll be desireable and attractive whether you’re 20, 28, 43, or 60.

    If you are ignorant, pretentious, condescending, shallow, and your sense of “personal style” does not extend beyond your outward appearance…then you will be unattractive at any age.

    One bad post does not a bad blog make, DCB, but you missed the mark on this one.

  28. Anonymous

    DCB look how you blew it here. Imagine the response from the horny and intelligent Dating Hell Diarist if you would have posted your desires to date an older woman.

  29. An Older Man

    I must say-the ability of my
    gender to avoid reality is one of the most potent
    forces in nature. You see it yourself every day – the
    balding, pot-bellied, baseball-cap wearing,
    Republican-voting man who still, against all reality,
    thinks he is irresistable to younger women.

    Ladies-be especially aware of any man who listens to music
    from the 80’s – he’ll still be thinking that way.
    Especially if he’s driving a red pickup truck with
    high beams.

  30. Heh

    Obviously, it means something to you, Greg.

    Might I pass you this hook, line, and sinker?

  31. James

    Your hater club is going wild. Guess this bothered them for some reason.

    Is your hater club filled with 30 year-old females or something? :banana:

  32. Heh

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww, SNAP!

    All you thirtysomething ladies, James just ICED you with that comment!

    The clincher, of course, being the dancing banana…

  33. Yakov

    The banana pwn3d the haters… Speaking of haters, are you all the same person or what? Fuckin’ ridiculous 🙂

  34. Anonymous

    Women in their 30’s are at the biological sexual peak and always more experienced in all ways than the younger ones you find more physically attractive. Given a choice I would choose a ripened succulent petite apricot like Dating Hell Dairest any day.

  35. mass

    Man, I’d say shitty post but I haven’t observed the club scene in something like 20 years. But isn’t it always youth obsessed? Isn’t our culture youth obsessed?

    And all you Scientology haters out there…be warned it’s all under copyright and you’ll all be sued to the extent of Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, Lisa Marie Presley, and John Travolta’s checkbooks! Word to your mother.

  36. Marc

    A hefty portion of hot sex is directly proportional to how hot you are physically.

    It doesn’t take a special breed of woman to ride a cock with skill. Age does not give you an upper hand.

    “oh, but I’m 30 plus and I go to the gym!”

    And you still look like you were ridden hard, and put away wet.

    Down horsey! There are enough desparate men out there for you yet.

    Hate on Haters

  37. Spaniard

    Man, that was a great post. Even though I found myself knee-deep in hate by the time I got to the “Post Comment” area. Most of the hate coming from late 20 to 30 something year old readers.

    Try hard to defend yourselves, time is coming for you.

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