Via Craigslist.

I’m so incredibly tired of one night stands…

…I want it to have the potential to become something more than just fucking.

:whoa:

Her pictures did not help. Let’s imagine for a second that she is cute. Why why why would any guy go for this girl after she announces to the world that she is the neighborhood bicycle?

On Friday I had a date with the traffic court judge after getting ticketed for going 55 in a 35 on Connecticut Ave back in December. Traffic violators had such uncreative excuses that while waiting I began to have hope that I’d be let off easy. I decided to take a “keepin’ it real” approach to my excuse. No bullshit, just straight-up honesty:

“At the time of the incident there were two friends with me and we were laughing, talking. Plus I had on the house music really loud so I was not realizing how fast I was going… I was distracted. I know the speed limit was 35, which is why I always keep it under 45. I just slipped this time.”
“So you knew the speed limit was 35?”

Instantly I knew what was wrong with my excuse; not only did I admit to speeding but I was very aware of what the speed limit was.

“When was the last time you got a moving violation?” he said.
“Four years ago.”
“What for?”
“… speeding. :sad:”

My fate was sealed.

I did recognize someone in court though. Whenever I run into a girl that looks familiar, it’s usually because I hit on her in some club. About a year ago I started talking to this girl at the gym, who was barely 18 at the time. More recently I saw her at Spank and we flirted and danced a little, but I remember not going for the number since she was Persian. Well I roll into the courthouse and see her… in a SWEAT SUIT. She ends up getting no points and a reduced fine while I get the full fine - plus court costs - and one point, even though I pimped it out with a business casual outfit that included a tie my mom bought me four years ago. At least my attire got a compliment from the court cashier lady.

There is a simple test you can perform to determine if a certain belief or hobby of yours is crazy: if you were to live 18 years of your life without exposure, would you all of a sudden practice it? Religion fails this test spectacularly. No one would believe in a magic man in the sky without childhood indoctrination by parents. Same goes for good will and true love. Another thing that fails the test… country music. Why would 99% of Americans answer “Anything but country” when asked what kind of music they listen to? Cause it’s NO GOOD.

I was sitting in front of the television the other day and decided to give country music another chance. I put on MTV Country and caught a video of two guys singing. The song was called “Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy,” by a duo called Big & Rich, who seem to incorporate hip hop’s bling bling culture into their lyrical stylings. It’s the second most awful thing I’ve heard this year, second to Britney Spears “Do Something”.

Passing out hundred dollar bills
And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill

“Alright partner… we have to rhyme something with bills. I’m really feelin’ grill so should we go with barbeque grill or a pick-up truck grill?”

Well I don’t give a dang about nothing
I’m singing and Bling- Blanging
While the girls are drinking
Long necks down!
And I wouldn’t trade ol’ Leroy
or my Chevrolet for your Escalade

News flash: Chevrolet and Cadillac (maker of the Escalade) are owned by the same company. How can you say you like to “bling blang” but not want the pimpest ride? And if you own an Escalade but don’t have 24’s on them, why are you still alive? you are really selling your pimpability short.

Riding up and down Broadway
on my old stud Leroy
And the girls say
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Everybody says
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy

If you are unfortunate enough to hear country music somewhere, save your ears, leave the room.

- Full lyrics

A woman should not have been guarding an unrestrained Brian Nichols on Friday afternoon.

I think it’s a bad idea to put women into specific situations where they are at a disadvantage because of their strength, such as in some law enforcement and fire protection positions. Women are not designed to tackle men twice their size to the ground. Women are not made to carry a fire house up several flights of stairs. Unless they are taking steroids or muscle-enhancing drugs, they can not do just as good as men.

Be honest with yourself for a minute. If there were two fire houses in your neighborhood - one all male and one all female - and you could choose which one you want to put out a huge fire in your house, which one would you choose? Or if four thugs were trying to break down your door to rob and kill you; would you rather have a pair of female cops come save your life or a pair of male cops? It’s not being sexist if you chose the men; it’s simple recognizing that both sexes have their strengths and weaknesses.

When 200-lb Brian Nichols overpowered a female guard, I couldn’t help but wonder ‘what-if’ the guard was male. Would an average strength male guard been able to do a better job than an average strength female guard? Women should continue to pursue careers in law enforcement and fire protection, but let’s not kid ourselves when we let a woman guard a Brian Nichols that many men would have a challenge restraining.

I trim my torso every March to celebrate the upcoming arrival of Spring, and this year was no exception. The post-trim itch I’m experiencing right now is nothing uncommon, but the uneven distribution of hair is.

It seems that I have more hair on my arms and legs now, along with much longer hair on my head. So by trimming my torso area only, I look pretty weird. I took a couple pictures… here’s a front view:

And a side view:

I think I understand now why really hairy guys don’t trim their hair: unless you trim everything, you’ll just look ridiculous. I’ll just have to give up seeing my nipples and stomach ever again.

(Picture credit: The Cat Gallery.)