WHO CARES IF THEY ARE A BORDERLINE WHITE TRASH

High heel sandals are usually sexy on a woman, but there is a specific type that really turns me on: the retro cork sandal block. If you see a girl struggling down the sidewalk with a pair of these on, there is a good chance she is white, relatively skinny, and carrier of a full lower-back tattoo. There is also a good chance she is amazing in bed. You should pursue her aggressively because some other guy is going to be hitting it before the sun comes up the next day.

I think my love for these shoes may be a bit subjective because a girl I used to date – and actually like – wore these during the summer.