There is a simple test you can perform to determine if a certain belief or hobby of yours is crazy: if you were to live 18 years of your life without exposure, would you all of a sudden practice it? Religion fails this test spectacularly. No one would believe in a magic man in the sky without childhood indoctrination by parents. Same goes for good will and true love. Another thing that fails the test… country music. Why would 99% of Americans answer “Anything but country” when asked what kind of music they listen to? Cause it’s NO GOOD.
I was sitting in front of the television the other day and decided to give country music another chance. I put on MTV Country and caught a video of two guys singing. The song was called “Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy,” by a duo called Big & Rich, who seem to incorporate hip hop’s bling bling culture into their lyrical stylings. It’s the second most awful thing I’ve heard this year, second to Britney Spears “Do Something”.
Passing out hundred dollar bills
And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill
“Alright partner… we have to rhyme something with bills. I’m really feelin’ grill so should we go with barbeque grill or a pick-up truck grill?”
Well I don’t give a dang about nothing
I’m singing and Bling- Blanging
While the girls are drinking
Long necks down!
And I wouldn’t trade ol’ Leroy
or my Chevrolet for your Escalade
News flash: Chevrolet and Cadillac (maker of the Escalade) are owned by the same company. How can you say you like to “bling blang” but not want the pimpest ride? And if you own an Escalade but don’t have 24’s on them,
why are you still alive? you are really selling your pimpability short.
Riding up and down Broadway
on my old stud Leroy
And the girls say
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy
If you are unfortunate enough to hear country music somewhere, save your ears, leave the room.