Quite a few people I know have recommended the movie Crash. I netflixed it and I must say that I am stunned that so many people I respect enjoyed this horrible tripe. The movie is supposed to be a no-holds barred look at racism in a handful of LA residents who experience or perform it daily. These characters do not have a single conversation that is racist-free throughout the entire movie. And it’s not the subtle racism that you have to take a minute to think about, but it’s the obvious, tired racist themes that are played out in redneck circle-jerks.
Situations I’m sure you’ve never seen before:
1. White cop pulls over a black man in a big SUV and gives him and his wife a hard time. White cop has a rookie partner who doesn’t agree with his tactics.
2. Rich white woman gets scared of black guys on the sidewalk, and then gets jacked by the same black guys.
3. Persian FOB shop-owner with thick accent has trouble understanding simple English words, like the difference between door and lock.
4. Hispanic man with tattoos looks like a gangbanger but is actually a father with a heart of gold. (Usually this character is played by a prostitute.)
5. Chinaman with funny accent has ten immigrants locked up in his van.
The movie tries to get all Seinfeld on us by elegantly merging the different stories together. Problem is that there is no elegance! (Go and Magnolia did it much better.) The racist white cop ends up running into the black man’s wife the next day. At about the same time, the black man gets rob by the black guys. The Persian shop owner tries to kill the Hispanic man for bad service, who also got a complaint from the rich woman the day before. One of the black guys is accidentally killed by the rookie cop, who isn’t a racist. OH THE IRONY! Oh yeah, one of the black guys accidentally runs over the chinaman!!! They drop him off at the hospital, and we learn that his wife (who pronounces all l’s as r’s) later rear-ends the white girlfriend of a black cop whose car thief brother it is that got killed. There is more… it is just so retarded.
The movie is trying to send the message that you are seeing the world through racist eyes, but they are playing out the EXACT SAME STEREOTYPES THAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO AVOID. Not a single black character in the movie is portrayed positively. And the number of hilarious accents alone has given me plenty of material for the next lame house party I attend.
The movie ends when everyone realizes they are huge assholes and are no longer racist:
1. The car thief – the one that didn’t get killed by the rookie cop – sets out on a path of goodwill. We assume he enrolled into college.
2. The racist white cop saves a black woman’s life and realizes he shouldn’t be a racist anymore, as his dad cries on the toilet (I wish I was making this up).
3. The rich white woman realizes that all her yuppie friends are fake, and that her real friend is her housekeeper Rosa, who she yelled at the day before for not emptying the dishwasher.
4. Persian shop owner realizes he made a mistake in trying to kill a man for no reason. No longer a racist against Latinos.
This was one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year, second only to War of The Worlds. You can tell this movie was written by a rich white guy with no experience of racism except for what he watched on Cops as a kid. Oh, this post contains spoilers. Do not read if you haven’t seen the movie.