CRUCIFIXIONS AREN’T SO BAD

It’s interesting how Christians like to talk about how terrible the crucifixion of Jesus was. If it wasn’t for his crucifixion, Christianity would never have gotten so popular; it would be reduced to “weird” status like with the Mormons or Mennonites. Jesus’ crucifixion was a godsend for the Christian faith.

1. He was killed during his prime. If Jesus were to live a long life until the age of 80 or so, his message would have become stale and diluted. By dying at the height of his fame, his ideas are held to a higher regard (kinda like the final season of Seinfeld). Your ideas are worth nothing unless someone wants to kill you for them.

2. His death created the most recognizable image in the world. Without the image of him hanging from the cross, how do you expect the church to push the propaganda? Plus I can only imagine how many millions in cross sales the church profits from every year. It’s the oldest souvenir in the world.

Every Christmas you should celebrate JC’s death, for without it your religion would be seen a little differently, probably in books with titles like “Stories of the Crazy White Man”, read alongside Greek and Roman myths to youngsters before bedtime. Instead, it’s a homophobic way of life for over a billion people, while at the same time serving as the world’s number one incubator for pedophiles. Hooray!

32 thoughts on “CRUCIFIXIONS AREN’T SO BAD

  1. jessa j

    thats true scientist think he looked like this. (thank you discovery channel)

    haha i think it’s hilarious they made his image as bewildered and confused looking as possible.

    i only like jesus cause he’s the O.Z. in my mind. (original zombie)

  2. inSOMnia

    If Jesus was alive today bush would probably wage a war on him as a part of his campaign against terrorism. Or he would get arrested and detained under the patriot act.

  3. mil0

    Actually there is no evidence by secular scholars or anything so it’s impossible to know what jesus looked like. Although if I had to guess I’d go with an olive skinned jew with a beard and short hair and a 2 inch weiner.

  4. Jesus Christ

    All you non believers will burn in hell. Especially liz because there are no Puerto Ricans named Jesus. Mexicans go by that name. Your dad will burn like a marshmallow.

    Burn Bitches

  5. Jesus Christ

    God also told Jesus that he would reveal himself to the world whenever Liz or anybody in her family tree tells a funny joke. The streak continues!!

  6. Anonymous

    Jesus did not die in his prime. He came to India after the crucifixion that did not kill him. Refer Jesus Lived in India by Holger Kersten

  7. P.F.C.

    or jesus died in our places so that we would not need to die as punishment for our own sins….
    why is it that a loving God who wants nothing else but the best for us receive so much bad-talk?

    could it be that we just don’t understand how someone could love us that much because we don’t see that type of passionate love today in our society?

    what God has to say to anyone who hates him:
    “Whenever you choose to come to me, I will be here for you, despite all you have done, I want nothing less than for you to be able to live the life that I have planned for you knowing that I do not want you to go to hell but instead, despite your sins, I want you to be forgiven and know that I have a place prepared for you in heaven”

    now that doesn’t sound so bad now does it?
    theres the bible summed up for you….

  8. rob

    okay. first: “jesus” is used by puerto ricans as a first and even sometimes last (De Jesus) name. second: the jews did not kill jesus, the romans did. pay attention to history. during that time, the romans pretty much owned most of europe as weel as the middle east. third: jesus said (and i quote) “father forgive THEM, for they know not what they do”. the word “them” only applies to the people that attended his crucifiction. fourth: jesus wasn’t white. he was of a darker persuasion.

    the point i’m trying to make, is that jesus never said that he was special. in fact, he was a poor man and possibly a beggar (he invited himself into peoples homes for dinner) who was persecuted for his own personal beliefs. he didn’t try to enforce a religion, and he got a miracle worker’s reputaion by word of mouth, which were mostly rumors and heresy. example: “i heard that he could walk on water”, or maybe “i heard that he can heal the sick with his tears and he even raised the dead once”. these are things that EVERYONE knows for a fact DO NOT happen. so before you want to play ball, scarecrow… get your fact’s straight. there’s nothing sadder that listening to morons talk about something that they haven’t studied.

    idiots….

    oh, btw. for those of you with jesus jokes, try this one.

    what’s the difference between “jesus” and a “picture of jesus”?

    it only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus.

  9. Loftus

    Swing and a miss Rob,
    “I am the way the truth and the light, no one goes to the father except through me.” Jesus
    The Jewish authority demanded Jesus be crucified as a heretic and the Romans weary of a rebellion washed their hands of him.
    This IS in the bible but Roman records also back them up. Sorry if your atheist ideas don’t match up to history the way you’d like it. Honestly Rob, you have to admit He said He was a miracle worker and God’s son…there’s scores of primary sources and eye witnesses from the time. Whatever though..this post if even read by you won’t change your mind but all I can say is enjoy being the weirdo 5% that hides from God. Good luck and enjoy hopelessness.

  10. P.F.C.

    as a response to what rob said:
    first, the name “Jesus” has been made famous by what the Jesus from the bible has done
    secondly, the jews got jesus killed, the romans decided to “clean” there hands of the whole Jesus issue but did not stop it as they where scared of the uproar that would have been caused by the jews
    third, the word used for ‘they’ is the word ‘autos’ and if you decide to actually study the language you will notice that your comment on this word is holds no grounds in the original text.
    here are some other english words used to describe this word: (her, it (-self), one, the other, (mine) own, said, ([self-], the) same, ([him-, my-, thyself, [your-] selves, she, that, their (-s), them ([-selves]), there [-at, -by, -in, -into, -of, -on, -with], they, (these) things, this (man), those, together, very, which)
    fourth, yes jesus did have dark skin….. look where he lived……

    also, Jesus claimed to be God, and he did do miracles and in fact said to those who had trouble beleiving that he is God to simply look at the miracles he did (this is a very big claim and)
    also, healings and miracles are real and they happen even today, I know because I myself have been healde and I have seen many other healings/miracles. the bible sais that those who follow Jesus will even do greater miracles than what he did through the power that God gives them through his spirit that is in him
    This is a promise and will either hold true or otherwise disprove the whole christian faith. This is why I have faith in Christ. because I see his promise being fulfilled.

    just so you know, it was your sin that made jesus take those nails, he suffered the most painful and humiliating death FOR YOU!

    truth is, if you truly understood that Jesus did die for you and that science and history are now coming to terms with the facts, you would want to live for that God who loved you that much and who created you with a purpus in mind

    its like this, we are all dieing, theres no denying that, but those who trust God have a promise, both for now(what he promises you have now, and you can see through this that he is real) and for after we die on this earth.

    if you would like more information please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at [email protected]

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