My friend and I decided that we were going to hit Arlington in an effort to give ourselves a very unique St. Patty’s Day. Don’t ask. We’d had one too many green drinks when we made that decision. Nevertheless, we did get what we wished for … a rare experience indeed!

First stop: Molly Malone’s. What the fuck was that? Felt like I died and woke up on a street corner in middle America.

Second stop: Clarendon Ballroom. Yes, it is smoke-free, but who were those women in denim skirts, leftover Mardi Gras beads and green tank tops, running around with shiny green heart-shaped stickers on their faces? I felt like I was in a rerun of “Springfield Kindergarten Teachers vs. Vienna Office Assistants” … and the game was hardcore bulletin board decoration. As if!

Third stop: Ireland’s Four Courts. Kelly green walls decorated with photos of Dublin and bagpipes … so authentic, so charming – but wait … did some drunk guy in a green, cone-shaped hat just belch and then grab my ass?

Stop four: Gua-Rapo. Ahh … finally a place to hide out and drink my vodka soda in green peace. Mr. Rosenfeld, you saved my day … again!


  1. KassyK

    In an effort to not offend my Va friends…I wish I got it but damn–I just dont. Call me a city snob…doesnt mean I love you any less.

  2. O-face

    I would be skeptical of virginia. That sh** was probably made in someone’s bathtub. But my head is banging, I think i’m gonna vomit up some lucky charms.

  3. Wava

    I like how rubbish from West Virginia is trying to snark on VA and “middle America.” At least most of the Clarendon pre-yuppies have college degrees.

    As for the denim skirts…ah, to be 22 again. Those who are a DECADE older feel the need to hate…

  4. Needtsza

    hey WAVA, I gots much love for WV (grad of WVU here) so don’t be so down on it.
    And Kass, while I have friends in Va too, (as I am about to go to a party at a friend’s in Va) that doesn’t make them non-idiots as a whole. I mean, have you met a good Va driver yet?

  5. Miss Metropolis Post author

    I love WV and VA. In fact … I failed to say that I spent the evening with a IRL Mountaineer (there was a WVU game going on down at Ragtime).

    Can’t you people take a joke? Wow. Some people have a lot of negative energy flowing. Glad to see you have an outlet to express those repressed feelings, my dears.

    If I must clarify …

    I believe that there is good and bad in every state. Oh — and by the way … I can pick on Virginia if I wanna. There is nothing wrong with being tunnel trash. Someone’s got to fill those shoes.

  6. RCR

    Um, yeah, it’s called the orange, blue, and yellow lines.

    As a fellow mountaineer, I can tell you I would much rather hang out in some country dive in WVa than fucking Arlington – the home of the douche bag.

  7. Anonymous

    Ah, Arlington. The lamest place on earth. Are you at all surprised at what you saw? Come on.

  8. A dose of reality

    For Miss M to even begin to cut on others is a joke in itself. She is the most insecure little hillbilly you will ever meet, so of course he looks down her crooked nose at everyone. But in reality, she really is looking up and how she wished her baseline was VA trash in acid-washed jeans, that’s royalty from where she comes from.

    I thought she was done on here? Does she really need the attention that bad? Even if it’s bad?

Comments are closed.