Lonely? Tired of meeting loser guys in the club? Depressed that your mom has a better sex life than you? Well this may be your lucky day. Get out pen and paper and write down your answers to see if you qualify to have drinks with me. If your score is high enough in part one, you will be asked to fill out part two. Good luck!


1. On average, what date do you usually put out by?
a. 0-3
b. 4-8
c. 8+, or after we get married

2. What is the most number of drinks you would have on a first date?
a. It depends
b. 1 or 2, max
c. I don’t drink

3. How old are you?
a. Under 23
b. 23-26
c. Over 26

4. Sushi?
a. I like
b. California rolls only
c. I don’t like

5. Favorite music
a. EDM
b. Anything but country
b. Hip hop!

6. Do you think that, ultimately, women belong in the kitchen?
a. Yes
b. Is this a joke?
c. I’m a feminist

7. How soon can a guy use “movie night” for a date?
a. By date 3
b. Eh, lame
c. He better be spending money on me for every date

8. How would you describe your bedroom performance?
a. Amazing
b. I guess I’m good
c. I don’t know, or none of your business

9. Have men called you “hot”?
a. Yes
b. Sometimes, or “cute”
c. No 🙁

10. Does my writing stimulate you… intellectually or physically?
a. Sometimes
b. I hate you (but I visit everyday)
c. No

11. Your background..
a. Eastern European, South American
b. White, Western European
c. Other

12. Smoke?
a. No
b. Sometimes
c. Yes, I am weak

13. Favorite pet
a. Cats
b. Furry critters, or other
c. Dogs

For every a, give yourself 2 points. For every b, 1 point. You get nothing for c’s.

19-26: I would go out on a date with you if you are not morbidly obese and/or ugly. Proceed to the next part.
13-18: It could work, but you gotta be decent looking. Proceed to the next part.
0-12: Sorry, it’s not going to work out.


What picture best represents your hair color?



What picture does your face look most like?



Body type?
a. thin and curvy

b. thin with few curves

c. other

How is your ass like?
a. big and round

b. petite and/or flat

c. flat, saggy, and gross

Use the same grading system (2 for a’s, 1 for b’s).

5-8 points: Holla! E-mail me a picture of you and your friends at a slumber party… having a pillow fight… in lingerie.
0-4 points: I’m sure there are plenty of drunk white boys in Adams Morgan that would get with you.

31 thoughts on “DCB DATE QUIZ

  1. Laura

    Oh, how clever!

    Your quiz inspired me to create one of my own:

    After work, your favorite thing to do is

    A) Read, listen to music, engage in athletic activities, or otherwise take advantage of life
    B) Watch movies/TV, go out drinking, hit on women
    C) Make a long checklist of the attributes of your ideal woman and offend the whole target demographic by posting it on your website

    If you picked A, call me. B, find a passion, then call me. C- keep searching for that fantasy lady, I bet she’s out there. 🙂

  2. Eugenius

    wow …….i love this post…..let me know how many brave women actually take this.. probably the most important test of their lives, and give you their scores (especially if they are in the lower tiers)……:-)……honestly logic tells us those that are confident, which means probably hot and bangable, will take the test and actually tell you the score…..the really weak ones will keep their silence (except for close friends)……I say 4 bangable girls respond all other ones dont count…any takers on over/under?

  3. Chaco

    Hey bro, Laura’s response showed the kind of fiesty wit you like, I say she gets a date with you, even if her score was below A range.

  4. Eugenius

    Over/Under = 4…..meaning 4 nice girls will actually respond……soooo over 4 girls = Over, and under 4 = Under…………………i need to stop gambling seriously 🙁

  5. Sudamericana

    Well?I did it, and got a pretty decent score, which makes me think that your questionnaire might be quite flawed if you want to target accurately and get the kind of dates you’d like.

    How about giving more relative weight on the ?put out? 0-3 variable? That might do the trick 😉 =

    BTW, I am not a hater, and hope you can take this as constructive criticism.

    I have a question myself? regarding the drinking section. I wonder how many drinks would you be willing to pay for the girls who respond ?It depends?, since I think I read somewhere that you ?sorta keep a tab in your head?. Just curious…

  6. CapHillite

    GOSH, DCB…I took the test and scored a 6 and I’m a guy…I guess I should expect a call from you anytime now. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.

  7. Anonymous

    That last chick looks like she just climbed out of your bed and is bracing herself before she has to do the “walk of shame”.

  8. Aja

    Is that Vida Guerra in the first photo. I don’t believe anyone has a butt that comes close to that. DCB: I scored 18 because I am 30!!!!!! But otherwise, I am hot.

  9. rackson

    I like to buy and sell my women from Estonia. Stealing passports and promising comestic dentistry gets me more hotties than a 4 hour viagra overdose can sustain.

    Fuck smalltalk

  10. senator

    hey dcb – believe it or not – there are girl’s in LATE 30s that you would date… if you didn’t know

  11. G

    yo. no need to delete comments. it was a joke when I asked a/b you taking the last ass picture yourself. I expected you to point me towards whatever google search you typed. Wasn’t sure if it was “photos of nasty female asses” or “flabby butts.” At any rate, the last shot is money funny

  12. tommy

    There are very hot women in thier 30’s and you know those are the ones that will like pass the test of time because the take care of themselves.

    I’ve seen many women in there 20’s go to shit really fast because they rely on thier youth and nothing else

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