Last September I retired my funny t-shirts. I continue to wear my “Too Busy To Fcuk” and “20th Century Fcuk” shirts, because they are, like, name-brand, though sometimes I slip and wear the Jesus shirt as well. The rest of the shirts just don’t do it for me.

I was driving home the other day and wished there were shirts with DCB-style slogans, a cross between “I Fuck On The First Date” and “Morning Wood.” Then I thought, “How hard can it be to make my own?” I don’t want an obnoxious shirt that someone from across the room can read. I want a shirt that is cocky but classy with a touch of subtlety. That same night I came up with a plan to make my own shirt and distribute it. And I have to act sorta fast before I lose interest.

With regard to money, I know this will not be worth my time. So why am I doing it? To create something special and physical that I can share with both friends and readers. This site isn’t just woman-bashing and hating, but affirmation of how the world is changing for the average 20-something. Especially for the 20-something man. If I were to make and sell something, it wouldn’t be about just buying a piece of clothing, but about buying something that has meaning, that represents a different way of seeing things. Or maybe I’m just crazy and it really is just a t-shirt, something similar to what you can buy from thousands of stores and internet sites. We’ll see.

There are eight major steps to make this happen:

1. Order initial batch of ~30 blank t-shirts.
2. Learn how to use Adobe Illustrator in two weeks.
3. Call screen printers in the area and compare prices/services.
4. Complete t-shirt design.
5. Get the shirts made. Maintain quality control.
6. Set up basic store-front.
7. Work out shipping logistics.
8. Finish up… final price, pictures, back-end testing.

I went through my closet and took a look at the manufacturers of all the t-shirts I liked. The most comfortable and fitted shit was clearly American Apparel. You gotta pay for quality: AA shirts are four times more expensive than the Hanes or Fruit Of The Loom blanks. I ordered 30 black shirts. In the meantime I started messing around in Illustrator. My hope by writing about this project is that I will stay motivated to complete it.

Drop me an email if you are a graphics designer and want to help. Suggestions welcome.

33 thoughts on “DCB ON YOUR BODY

  1. Anonymous

    Florist, would you like one that says “Adam is a tool”? It could be provided for free, as a community service.

  2. fanman

    This is not as difficult as you think. Once you pick a silk screening place you can bring them a crappy sketch and they have graphic designers that will make it good for no charge. I’m in a Frat. at an engineering school (so there arn’t any graphic artists around) and we seriously have a T-shirt for every single party, conference, and alumni event that we do.

  3. Kayla

    Cafe Press??

    I think, however, you will be disappointed to see that most of your choice phrases have already been made into t-shirts by others just as bachelorific as you…

  4. Sudamericana

    Awesome project!

    Since you did not want to give me your carebear t-shirt (“because women will use it to sleep in” or something along those lines), I am definitely buying one of these.

  5. Anonymous

    ABC Tshirts in Rockville is what I’d use. I grew up in the area and they were always helpful and cheap.

  6. Anonymous

    How about “Two Pump Chump/Two Dinners and You’re Dumped” ? Or something along those lines?

  7. tshirt girl

    great idea… especially since you already have a site with so much traffic to link it to. just make sure to get a business license with the city so you get wholesale prices from the vendors and printers. if you’ve had shirts made before, you probably know how to save money with your designs. but if you want any tips (i did a similar tshirt thing for a few years and sold about $40k of shirts on the side), drop me a line.

  8. Mr. Jinxy

    I would just die to wrap my lips around a penile portrayal in popsickle of DCBs perky privates.

  9. Sudamericana

    I would probably put a small DCB logo or typical phrase at the front of the shirt; and the TOP 9 DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN at the back, sort of those band tour t-shirts with the different cities.

  10. Windy

    All you need to do is go to Cafe Press – http://www.cafepress.com

    You can even create your own DCB store. In additon to t-shirts you can sell mugs, hats, and so much more. Much easier way to go than steps listed above, guarantees you won’t lose interest and we all get fun stuff … let me know when your online store opens! 🙂

  11. iron shirt

    “All you need is CafePressTM! It’s SOOOOO Easy!” What the fuck, are you getting paid to say that?

    T-shirt printing isn’t rocket fucking science, let the man wipe his own ass.

    yeah, let’s give up AA for cheap plastic crap. GOOD BUSINESS MOVE

  12. RCR

    Yeah, the cafe press shirts fucking suck. I’m not a big fan of AA either, but it’s a lot better than cafe press.

  13. DCB Post author

    I would never use cafe press. (their shirts definitely suck). I want to own the entire process and feel the precious merchandise in my hands. I will be more commited to the project if I am involved in logistics, creative, distribution, and promotion. Anyone can do a cafe press site with some gay graphic.

    I will start off with the basic unisex shirt. If there is demand from the ladies, I don’t see why I can’t print it on a female version shirt.

    RCR you are right: I just have to go through my archives to find ideas. I can also have special limited edition shirts (i.e. “I helped own the senator”).

  14. jessa j

    one time i designed a Jessaist logo and then i decided that my narcissism just didn’t run that deep.

    yours on the otherhand….

    :bow: I would TOTALLY wear a DCBist tee.

  15. The Captain

    “For every chick you don’t bang, I’m going to bang three” or “For every notch you don’t get, I’m going to get three.” It’s a variation off a t-shirt I already have, but it does seem to fit you.

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