It can be hard to think clearly when it’s time to step up to the plate. The girl is hot. Your heart is beating fast. Your mind is blank. It’s do-or-die and the window for you to make your move is small. But you are unprepared and slow. The window closes and the girl is gone.
It’s important to always have a default game ready at your disposal. Start with having two opening lines that you can use anywhere. Sometimes you see a girl and can’t think of something on-the-fly to get a conversation going. What a shame it would be if a momentarily lapse in creative thought prevents you from even talking to the girl. Then there are times that you don’t feel confident of an untested opener and unconsciously put up roadblocks to approaching. If you have one opener that you’ve used dozens of times that is most likely to open than not, it would make talking to women a lot easier. Even if you are so nervous you can barely think, and you have to spit your line very rigid and robot-like, it is still better than not saying nothing at all.
After you get the conversation started, there will still be that first silence. When you meet a girl through friends, there is no pressure to keep talking. You have prolonged access to her, and other friends around you will take off some of the pressure. But when you approach a girl cold, you need to keep talking, even if you are normally introverted or guarded. Silences are deadly in the first 15 minutes of a pick-up. This is where you need two or three conversational threads, or routines, that you can pull out and use. You’ve memorized them, you know how a girl will react, and you know they will open up the conversation even further. If you’ve ever told a story more than once, you’ve used a routine. It is something that is reliable, effective, and refined.
When you have no experience meeting girls, it is difficult to know what openers or routines to use. You will have to borrow them from other guys. This is where knowing guys who are good with women come into play. This is how I learned. Practice with their lines and quickly optimize them to something that fits your personality. With experience you gain the knowledge to figure out what works and what doesn’t work. In a very short time your game will look very different from what you started with.
The first 15 minutes of a pickup should be automatic. Like putting on your shoes. It should be something that you improve over the years until you have a final product that works for you. Its sole purpose is to get a girl intrigued in you, a random stranger. After that you can relax, for the seed has been planted. Once she sticks around and you have her attention, feel free to “be yourself,” flowing with the interaction wherever it may lead. Eventually you get so used to talking to women that you need to rely on your default game less and less each time. But until then you get to that point, having one will improve the rate at which you succeed.