Scenario: I go out with a girl one, two, maybe three times. Intimacy… probably involved. For whatever reason it doesn’t work out, either because the chemistry isn’t quite right or we don’t have a lot in common, two things necessary to sustain a longer relationship. I stop calling. Then months later I see her out, looking as good as ever.
It’s hard not to feel a little bit of doubt. When I see her again I probably have a couple drinks in me, and am a little more emotionally vulnerable. All the things that drove me to her in the first place, the vibe, the look, is right there in front of my face. But now she’s with another guy, and she’s having fun. Did I do the right thing?
When you meet a girl for the first time, that moment is probably going to be the best it’s going to get. Not all the time, but most of the time. Once I get to know her, any idea of a long term relationship is slowly crushed, driven by small doubts that add up as I spend more time with her. My idealized vision of her collapses. The chemistry created by the newness of it gradually fades away, and all that’s left is a tough decision of what to do. Do I put the effort to make this work, or do I take the easy out and just meet another girl. Unless you live in a small town, it’s easier to meet another girl.
It’s like couples who break up and then get back together. Initially things are great, but then the same thing that drove them apart in the first place resurfaces.
So the answer is yes, I always make the right decision. The seed of doubt you get later can be explained by loneliness or jealousy, two fickle emotions that relationships should never be based on.