There is a lot of development in Rockville, Maryland where I work. Almost every month a new office building or condominium project pops up, squeezing the native geese population out of their natural habitat. Personally I hate geese; their huge green droppings are everywhere and you have to walk with your head down like you have a self-esteem problem.
I was walking to the 7-11 near my job yesterday for a taquito snack when I hear a woman screaming. I look about 100 feet away and see this goose flying right at her. I felt like I should help her but I was stunned that this bird was trying to take out a human… and winning! Four other guys join me in the viewing and we just stood there, watching in amazement. She fell on her ass and the goose kept trying to go for her face. Eventually the goose gave up. One guy said, “It’s cause she’s wearing black. Geese don’t like black.”
To make up for not helping, I yell out, “Are you okay?” She was okay.
Then she walks to us and says, “Do you know who I can call about that?”
Yeah, a self-defense class. I would have grabbed its neck and swung it around Petey Pablo style, like a helicopter.