Vodka Boy sent me some girl’s guide to casual sex and I must say it was a little depressing to read. She has perfectly nailed down sex to a mechanical, detached act with guys she doesn’t seem to like at all.

3. Do ask permission to do things to me and my home. Ask to take a shower, ask to go through my nightstand looking for a condom, ask before trying to go down on me, and ask me if you want something from me too. We can?t pretend to be familiar with each other so be polite.

9. Make the bed.

10. Morning sex is off limits. The two primary reasons for this are 1. I got drunk in order to feel comfortable bringing you home and screwing, now I am not drunk and there is no longer any chance of screwing. That also goes for oral sex, even if I were to participate last night, there is NO chance of a stale, daylight, sober blow job for you. AND 2. too much nudity is prevalent in morning sex and I’m really not ready for that kind of commitment with you. See # 8.

She thinks like a guy. Must be some sort of analyst or science geek.

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  1. greg

    Hah, that is pretty depressing. I love how she says seeing her naked is *too intimate* yet letting guys put their genitals inside her is okay.

    Also, I think this is pretty specific to the writer. It’s by no means a guide that applies to everyone. No oral? Yeah sweetheart, you’re in the minority of drunk hos if you aren’t willing to slob the knob.

    I wouldn’t say she thinks like a guy so much as she thinks like a slut.

  2. nabeel

    nice thing about having a girlfriend, is you can break all of these stupid rules. especially having morning sex!

  3. Eric

    Im with Greg – this slut has this shit down to a science, and it’s not one that benefits the guy. I bet she looks fucking terrible.

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