FINANCIAL NEEDS OF A MAN

This was forwarded to me by a reader:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”

I then said “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her!

Stories like this make me full warm and fuzzy inside. Whether it’s true or not, I applaud the men out there who refuse to take shit from a woman.

Maybe I’m delusional, but I think the tide is turning against feminism and Sex and the City spinster behavior. Now if we can just get women to learn how to cook again. “Honey, I’m tired, let’s go out to eat with your money.” :boring:

56 thoughts on “FINANCIAL NEEDS OF A MAN

  1. KassyK

    AHHHHHH!! This can DEFINATELY go both ways…as a woman who more sexual needs than emotional ones I can say unequivocally that I have met men who needs more cuddling…ego stroking…time…etc that I ever have needed. All ready and willing Alpha Men-I am now taking applications. Do you promise you will come at me with no baggage and a ready to go attitude? If so-WE WANT YOU!!

    And who are these women using men to buy clothes? That is so skeezy. Again–I feel like a weird alien in this planet of dating…someone give me a Percocet.

  2. Sally

    To quote Raven Baxter: OH SNAP!

    And KassyK: Agreed. Who ARE these women? I’d rather just have the cash.

  3. hedonist

    Good GOD, why, why WHY are you calling that spend-another-man’s-money behavior “feminist?” Are you joking? Are you insane? Or just stupid? Do you even know what feminism is? :shudder:

    The cash-for-flesh exchange is as old as time (my most recent blog-rant concerns this phenomenon, in fact). It is the most anti-feminist behavior there is. Under the old-fashioned “flesh as commodity” paridigm, the woman you described apparently “owed” sex to her financial “sponsor.” They apparently had an implied contract, and apparently she’s not holding up her end of the deal?

    REAL feminists have sex when we’re in the mood, thank you very much, and we don’t do it for cash, gifts, drinks or dinner. The sex is “free,” but our interest varies from day to day and is largely dependent on our moods and/or where we are in our menstrual cycles. Not surprisingly, we’ll be most interested in sex when we’re the most fertile, so watch it!

    But at least, we buy our own jewelry . . . .

  4. KassyK

    Hedonist-Agreed…That is the complete antithesis of “feminism”…you want feminism gone? Then welcome to the world of exactly what that guy just wrote. Flesh for cash…Gross. You guys really WANT that?

  5. V

    This story is really great, but the ladies are right about it not characterizing feminism. Your beef is with women who use men for money?combating that behavior is one of the reasons feminism began.

    However, I actually think you may not want feminism for the opposite reason you stated. Because without feminism, women would be much easier to pump and dump if they were completely reliant upon men, so their only recourse would be to have sex whenever asked.

  6. Sweet

    Girls like this piss me off, if this story is true, then good for him. But yeah that’s not feminism on the woman’s half, that’s just what we like to call a ‘manipulative bitch.’

  7. Chaco

    Funny story, but sounds to me like the guy isn’t very good in bed. If he understood how to get her in the mood, he could have had sex with her that night without all the drama.

  8. Sweatpants

    The story is apocryphal; it’s a joke. I think it’s funny, but the guy and the girl in the joke aren’t two people who actually exist.

  9. DC_Cookie

    I say – when your man wants sex, give it to him. Give it to him even when he doesn’t want it, because if you don’t, someone else will…

  10. tommy

    As a gynecologist and a man,I’ve that when a woman is uninterested in sex, you’ll have more luck squeezing blood out of a rock. But strangley the disinterested never starts to manifest itself until after the relationship has been solidified in some way. Rent porn and jack off young man

  11. Irina

    DCB, let me introduce you to my friend, she’s cute, always horny, and never needs guys to pay for her.
    What’s the catch? She tends to date needy men who need their egos stroked and can’t take criticism.

    Any takers?

  12. CrazyGirl

    I wish I could say I don’t know women like this, but after thinking about it, I do know one. Most of my friends are rather independent and choose to financially support themselves in every aspect. However, I do know one (GF of my BF’s friend) who feels like her guy neglects her when they don’t have weekly “(Insert Her Name) Time”. I’ll call her Jane for shits and giggles. “Jane Time” consists of a day during the week where it’s all about her. She requires that her boyfriend takes her out to buy her something or treat her to a day at the spa. When she doesn’t get it, she pouts and cries like a 3 year old being denied a cookie. It’s rather obnoxious.

    I seriously hope her boyfriend is getting some quality “Dick Time”, otherwise I’d probably consider him to be her bitch.

  13. Troll Army 1

    This guy is a genious and this is a great idea. Next time I am in this situation I will do the same. RCR as always we all cant wait to kick ur ass for being a douche.

  14. nabeel

    DC Cookie: “I say – when your man wants sex, give it to him. Give it to him even when he doesn?t want it, because if you don?t, someone else will?”

    Spoken like a wise woman.

    And KassyK: “Do you promise you will come at me with no baggage and a ready to go attitude? If so-WE WANT YOU!!”

    Ok, where do I sign up?

  15. Joe

    This story sounds too stereotypical to be true. Same old story of sex-starved guy, golddigging girl. In my previous relationship (started dating her when she was 19 and I was… uhhh… 10 years older), she was BOTH the sex maniac and the golddigger. (I dumped her over the latter problem, not the former!) But, her revenge was sweet. Her dad, who divorced his much-younger wife and all but disowned the family, just died at 85. But he left a will. Now she’s a millionaire with like 1,000 acres of prime land all over Las Vegas…. Ugh!! Foiled again!

  16. Cock Diesel

    I, for one, don?t understand why men hand their sex lives over to ONE woman. :crazy:

    What, to ration you out pussy as they see fit?

    One only needs to look at nature to see this type of lifestyle is unnatural for a male.

  17. Liz

    Ha. That was pretty funny.

    Now I think I’ll go smoke a blunt and drink a beer, both of which I paid for myself. 😛

  18. Troll Army 2

    RCR we are going to pool some money for you so you can pay someone for some good comebacks. That and for your medical bills when we pound you into the ground.

  19. JG

    Let’s not forget that this is DC- there are TONS of highly educated woman making very good salaries here. These women can take care of themselves and bring just as much into a relationship financially as men do. Maybe some men are intimidated by this, and compensate for their insecurity by perpetrating old stereotypes to reaffirm their role as principal breadwinner. It?s just a different ballgame now than it used to be.

  20. Anonymous

    This is pure urban legend. Of the dozens of women I know, none would want or even accept clothing, jewelery and shoes from a man in the manner described in the story. I know they are out there, but in my world gold-diggers do not exist. However, DCB, they seem to be the bane of your existence. So the question is why do you meet so many gold-diggers? The answer is easy: you only want women for sex, so you end up with women who only want men for money. This should not be a surprise. You get what you deserve.

  21. hedonistic

    Sarah Jayne, the article might reflect the truth, but also note that the man interviewed has a high-profile job and a lot of money. Everything in its proper perspective! Regular guys don’t have to lay out that amount of cash. There are plenty of women with fleshy desires out there who will do it with quality men for free.

    The “rules” of high-end dating are different, and it comes from the MALE mindset: These men have no qualms about paying for sex. Shoot, half the time it’s the only reason they get out of bed in the morning to go to work.

    And the “quality” woman he’s referring to?

    Quality = “supermodel hot”

    There will always be a bidding war for the superhot female, because men have discovered most hot chicks are stuck inside their television sets, and try as they might, they just can’t get them out. So when a REAL superhot chick appears on the scene, the strutting and flinging of cash begins. And if you cock your head and strain your ears, you can almost hear the auctioneer in the background.

    Can you blame the superhot chick? All other things being equal, why not choose the man who spoils her over the man who doesn’t . . . . ?

    (Life ain’t fair, yeah, tell me about it . . .)

  22. nabeel

    And life would be less fair to those who go bankrupt due to their… *ahem* … mismanagement of their funds stemmed from an obsession of obtaining a “quality” woman whose phantom quality seemed to vanish after marriage…

  23. Mo

    DCB, you sit and wonder why American women can’t be feminine like European women and at the same time admire some retard who takes pride in not knowing what to do when a woman is being a woman. That’s just stupid.

  24. Bj

    Damn right……Dont want no shit!!! Dont takeno shit……its the way of the world…..

    Mind you he must have been feeling bit brave that day

  25. Daz

    Classic, read that one before but was better 2nd time round for some reason lol! That guy thinks like me!
    Hmm was my comment relevant to the subject matter in some way? lol…

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