FUN WITH CLASSIFIED ADS II

Just by reading the title you know this is going to be a good one: Why are people pretending to be something they are not.

She says: “Ok I am reposting to add a few things.”
What she really means: “My original post got very few replies.”

She says: “And No I am not hiding my chest. I just happen to like the pics I put up as they show the real me.”
What she really means: “I’m seriously not proud of my chest.”

She says: “I am a real woman, I am not a Barbie Doll and I never will be”
What she really means: “Wait until you see me the morning after without make-up.”

She says: “I am a strong independent woman, looking for a strong independent man. I am not willing to settle anymore for what I have decided is not for me.”
What she really means: “I started purchasing cats last year and will continue to purchase them until I die.”

She says: “I am the mother of a teenager and have decided that it is time to take care of moms needs now.”
What she really means: “I seriously fucked up by having this kid, and I would like to find someone to take care of my child so I can have me-time at Yoga class. ”

She says: “Am I asking for to much? Really, Am I??”
What she really means: “I have a weak grasp on reality.”

She says: “I am looking for a Man who is willing to accept myself and my son as we are.”
What she really means: “Things will never get better, only worse.”

She says: “A man who loves all kinds of music especially country and concerts.”
What she really means: “I hope you don’t mind living in a trailer.”

She says: “I need a rich man but I don’t want to have to support another child!”
What she really means: “I want all the benefits of a partner, without having to put in any additional work!”

If you missed it… part one.

34 thoughts on “FUN WITH CLASSIFIED ADS II

  1. seenster

    After wasting ten minutes of my life reading that ad and subsequently trying to process that drivel, I can summarize it like this:

    The last man I dated secretly looked at the m4m ads, hooked up with a few, dumped me and left me with gonorrhea.

    DCB: East bay?! :huh:

  2. ?????

    “Unmarried white men between the ages of 32-45″

    DCB, you forgot to analyze her last statement above. Is she also a racist ?!!?! What the …

  3. seenster

    DC Cookie: I was thinking the exact same thing!! About the mullet. And, I should reply to the ad with a link to this page.

    Kathryn: Her eyes suck, so God only knows what the ass area looks like. And, I swear it took me 10-15 minutes to actually read/comprehend the whole thing.

    Rhinestone Cowgirl: Yes. They’re called the only women I date, because that’s what they can expect.

    Hope that helps.

  4. Windy

    I mean yes the ad was LONG, TMI and way over the top … but she isn’t horrible – I mean did you see the last “Fun with Classifieds” DCB did!?!?!

    give the poor lady a break … her kid must be mortified.

  5. The Senator

    Well Windy i must agree with you there. She isn’t horrible at all. She should step aside because she is feeling unlucky and she should let her son take a crack at the ad. I know i would love to date him if he is 18 and over.

  6. new p

    i see she took it down. i have to wonder if that anon freak out was her. she may have noticed an increase in hits… although she doesnt exactly scream tech savvy.

  7. Mister Jinxy

    OK, I hate to bring this up completely out of context, but has anyone else noticed the implosion that was the CPMC.

    An open letter from the Milkman ripping on Adam “The Senator” Douchebaggia?

    Har har.

    Yeah, and they’re deleting comments that don’t correspond with their narrow worldview even after posting shit ripping on people and claiming that they’re out there to restore the good name of “gentlemen” the world over.

    What a fraud.

    What an absolute farce.

    So much for being “above the fray”.

    I’ve risen above it. “Will you?”

  8. THE SENATOR

    Yes they are deleting my comments as well. I am not only a member of the CPGMC but also the founder. They deleted a comment made in regards to them thinking that you were actual one of the contributors of the CPGMC

  9. Mister Jinxy

    My goodness.

    It’s fucking hysterical.

    This thing could go Red Dwarf any minute.

    72 comments on the CPMC’s site in less than an hour.

    Kathryn is taking them on with some serious backup from the Milkman.

    This is better than Marvel Team-Up #27!

    What a fucking pathetic farce “The Senator” has become.

    I’m just surprised it’s taken this long.

  10. cpmctroll

    The problem is that Adam really can’t distinguish between positive and negative attention. Are all of the laughs from making fun of him worth the perverse ego boost he gets from getting flamed?

    Also, I think the thing to do is to refer to him as Adam from now on.

  11. Anonymous

    The Senator, aka Cleveland Park Mens Club, aka CPMC, aka “Anonymous”, aka Adam W. has been trolling the DC Blog scene since March 2005.

    March 2005: Adam opens the CPMC blog and e-mails every blogger in DC begging for a link. Constantly links to Kelly Ann Collins’ blog.

    Summer 2005: The heat-wave affects Adam’s ability to post items that don’t relate to dinner parties or cheesy fundraiser’s. Negative trolls begin to appear.

    August 2005: Trolling intensifies as Adam begins deleting comments, something he has criticized others for doing.

    September 12, 2005: Adam gets sand in his vagina and starts attacking Kathryn on MPL..

    September 13, 2005: Adam loses it and has a temper tantrum. In one day he is de-linked by several DC blogs.

    September 14, 2005: DCB makes a critical post about Adam that gets picked up by DCist. Adam responds by posting a picture of DCB and Michael Jackson song lyrics. He also removes anonymous posting permissions, due to the exponential growth of haters. Cleveland Park Gay Mens Club opens shortly after.

    September 21, 2005: Anonymous posting returns with this dinner party post. Former CPMC member Milkman calls Adam out in the comments section but gets promptly deleted. Kathryn picks up Milkman’s comment and nonstop Adam bashing continues with an ensuing flame war that causes Adam to comment over 20 times in less than three hours on several blogs. Adam’s remaining fans consist only of men over the age of 40 (catciao, phil, and mass)

  12. sara

    DCB, again this post is effing hilarious!! And again, why are you looking at classifieds? 😉
    But please don’t stop because I was laughing my ass off at this analysis!

  13. SVM

    Hi DCB, Just thought you might be interested to know you were the subject of a haiku on my blog the other day! 🙂 Now you KNOW you’ve made the bigtime.

  14. SVM

    I wish I could say it was, given that I share the sentiments, but if I had half the haiku talent of the people lurking on my blog I would be a happy woman.

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