It’s a shame to see the tide turning against the Senator so rapidly. The kissy-kissy CPMC comments section has deteriorated with so many trolls that it makes my comments section look like the Care Bear happy hour. And with people freely ridiculing them, I’m not sure how they are going to return back to the time when you can read their posts without throwing up in your mouth. There hasn’t been an original, creative, or funny post on that site in months.
It is very unfortunate to watch the Senator, a grown adult, completely break down on the internet and start threatening to remove links (in a horrible regurgitation of one of my rather amusing posts). I can only imagine him sitting in front of his computer – in the middle of what I’m sure is another really busy work day – getting red in the face and all teary with emotion as he just can’t understand why everyone isn’t as interesting as him. And why other men’s girlfriends aren’t as hot as his. And why everyone else doesn’t start an exclusive mens club and smoke cigars while other people make fun of you for having the mentality of a little boy in a tree house that daddy built.
And that comes down to the differences between us; the Senator with his “dream” of reaching 1000 hits a day to put up ads, and me, whose dream of offending as many easy women as possible is accomplished weekly. Sure I’m living the life and many men wish to be me, but I’m offended by the Senator. I’m not offended as a blogger, or even as a man, but as an accomplished manipulator of people who can’t understand how people are not seeing through his gentlemanly act candy shell and into the typical insecure little man “please please give me attention because I wish I was Kelly Ann Collins so bad that her former roommate is now like totally my best friend” gooey center.
Senator: If you are reading this right now, which I doubt since I’ve had to ban you multiple times for “anonymous” trolling, I implore you to please shut down your page before you become a laughing stock. You’re not far from it as it is. No one takes you seriously anymore, and you won’t make much money if your page eventually reaches your ultimate life dream goal. Judging by the amount of bloggers that make fun of you on your page and to me in private, it’s just a matter of time until your friends stop taking you seriously as well.
Remember when you first published your blog and you e-mailed me nicely asking for a link? You seemed like a good guy so I gave you that link, and Kelly Ann and I played a large part in giving you the audience you have today. Unfortunately, though, I made a horrible mistake, and gave a two-faced gossip a chance to be heard in the local scene. I feel like Rocky Balboa in Rocky V when he trained up-and-comer Tommy Gunn. Tommy got all cocky and decided to get trained by a flashy Don King clone promoter, but turns out that Rocky was key to guiding him to success. This was obvious in the end when he couldn’t even beat up the retired Rocky in a street fight. The point of this analogy is that I will never forgive myself. I welcomed your page onto my own, only to be disgraced by your retarded, attention-whoring personality. It’s very easy to pretend to be a different person online, but as time goes on you slip and your fake persona gets exposed for all to see and the gentlemanly fraud that you are is looked upon by everyone else as nothing but a pathetic cover-up of a weak character. The truth always comes out in the end.
Oh, and can you please stop mentioning the way you and the Florist met, when she had to approach you? It kinda sounds like you just went out with the first girl who talked to you. And the fact that you are freely admitting that a woman has more balls than you leads to the ultimate irony: the president of a men’s club is going out with a girl who is more man than him.