The Housing Crunch feature has jumped the shark with this third installment. My goal was to make the ad so outrageous that no one would reply, but I underestimated the desperation of people who live in this area.

$50 – Private car-port room rental (Bethesda)

We are renting out the car-port that is attached to our single family home. It is insulated with a tarp and has its own private entrance. It is a large space that can fit almost two cars. Included is a space heater that will keep you warm while you sleep. You will need your own bed. There is one power outlet for things such as alarm clocks and battery chargers.

The tarp easily retracts to allow light to come in. Also we think little “windows” can be cut out of the tarp for a more natural feel. This space is obviously meant for the adventurous renter. The broken motorcycle permanently parked in your room takes very little space. We will ask that you please do not disturb it.

Our neighborhood is extremely safe, but you can still store whatever you like inside, such as jewelry and other valuables. A heavy safe is recommended but not necessary.

I got three replies…

1. Hello, I am an adventurous renter and the price is right. Is it going to be warm at night? Can I use the kitchen a lot? (I like to cook whole foods meals regularly.) I’m also in town from March through the end of May. Would that work? What exactly is your situation – are you guys a family? How would you feel about talking on the phone?

2. I am a single 25yr old Hispanic female looking for a cheap room for rent for me my 4 kids and my sister. About the motorcycle, would it be ok if we hang our clothes on it to dry? can we please use some lawn space to dig a hole to keep our food fresh and use for sanitary reasons. please respond immediately we are being released from INS today. Thanks for your quick response.

3. Is it available furnished?

The first person who responded, a female, sent a follow-up email a few days later.

Hello, I’m writing regarding the car-port rental you’ve posted on Craigslist. I’m very interested! I’m looking to be in the area for a couple of
months to work at a non-profit downtown and like a minimalist set-up. I emailed before, but haven’t heard back. I thought I’d try again. Feel free to call XXX XXX XXXX as I have to travel to use the internet.

Thanks to Kathryn for the tarp idea. Other ideas I’d do if I wasn’t bored with this:

1. Tent in the backyard.
2. Weather-proof treehouse.

7 thoughts on “HOUSING CRUNCH III

  1. Vicky_Valencourt

    “The broken motorcycle permanently parked in your room takes very little space. We will ask that you please do not disturb it.”

    Hee. I agree with Larissa…the second response especially looks fake…but the others *might* be real, and that’s mighty scary.

  2. klo

    I once lived in a house in Montana with 3 guys named Jim who all slept on the cold, unfinished basement floor. I was the only female and had the whole second floor to myself. I lived there for 2 weeks and had to leave. You don’t want to meet the kind of people who agree to those living conditions. Trust me.

  3. DC_Cookie

    If I’m counting correctly, that’s $310 you’ve already generated per month. What is in line for housing crunch part IV? A pull-out shelf in the armoir in your foyer? Shoot, that would go for at LEAST another $80.

  4. Andy

    Dude, wasn’t there an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer had Japanese tourists sleeping in the drawers of a chest of drawers some guy gave him?!? :laugh:

    Or, next you could have someone sleep under the desk like George did.

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