HOW THE BLOG RUINED MY DATING LIFE

Imagine you are a guy who likes to have manly conversations with your buddies. You talk about things like getting laid, potential prospects, and which porn site has girls with the biggest asses. These conversations are off-limits to the girls you date, and thank God they are or else you will have to do a lot of explaining.

Well with girls who read my blog, it’s like they have secretly listened in to these conversations with my friends. Every date becomes a game in calling me out. And every girl does it, on every.. single.. date. They remember exact quotes of things even I forgot I wrote, and randomly remember certain posts at very inconvenient moments. This has happened so much that my explanations, which of course are 100% honest, now sound pretty good.

I don’t tell girls I meet about the blog, though it usually doesn’t take long for them to find out. While I’ve never had a girl cut me off after finding out, I think it changes the dynamic of the relationship, not necessarily for better or worse, but one where the blog is the third wheel who tags along with us.

And that’s all I can say about that.

21 thoughts on “HOW THE BLOG RUINED MY DATING LIFE

  1. Anonymous

    My mother warned me as a kid to not write things down because you can’t take those words back. She’s still right.

  2. KassyK

    As someone who was recently asked out by ?dcb? I wanted to input. I had no idea who he was and I had never read a blog before. DCB-I have to thank you though bc you got me into this thing and I am now a blogger. It?s a great release and for that I am really appreciative 🙂

    I also like to think of myself as part of that 5 percent of quality girls. I have a sense of humor, im easygoing and fun,intelligent and attractive and also very independent?I am DEF not the girl that wants to be with her boyfriend all the time. I love having my space and I don’t date a guy depending on his income. Are people really like that? Nasty.

    When dcb approached me immediately I found him to be sweet. I had been deciding if my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 7 years was going to be continued or not and was in a place where meeting a nice boy to chat with seemed fun. He gets my number and calls. We try to make plans but the first time I was already busy and the second time I had cousins visiting from out of town. I think dcb thought I was blowing him off?but I wasn?t?I was honestly busy. Haven?t heard from him since. But had heard from my on-off boyfriend who has gone everything in his power to make things work with us?

    In regards to the blog and how that affected things?I thought dcb was a nice guy? then I found the blog?his friend had told my friend who told me. I do have a sense of humor so I found intelligence and a few good chuckles in a lot of posts. I also felt sad for him and the other posters agreeing about a lot of girl issues. I wish you guys knew how many normal girls there are out there?.maybe not 50 percent but more than 5. I think I just felt so taken aback that he came off in person SO differently than the blog?not in a bad way just surprised.

    While pump and dump is fun sometimes (hey girls do it too)?in the end its boring bc lets face it-this city is not an especially attractive or cool city and the pool of people to pump and dump thins out really fast as you get older?and a meaningful connection is what really feels good.

    So that?s my perspective?Not to bash DCB-but to say that yes?the blog does tend to bring out the inner paranoia in even the most laid-back and normal girls.

  3. Stephen

    meeting a nice boy to chat with seemed fun

    But had heard from my on-off boyfriend who has done everything in his power to make things work with us?

    say it with me: There’s your sign.

    If you had been very interested in DCB, you would have, after his second failed attempt, called him up and asked him out and made the plan yourself.

  4. KassyK

    Stephen-Your completely right…hence I am not saying DCB is wrong–we never even met up–there are DEF not hard feelings on my end. I’m just throwing out what my situation was. I didn’t tell DCB all these things, just that I was going through stuff with my ex.

    But under diff circumstances…if I hadnt known all the blog stuff-I wouldnt be so terrified to make an ass of myself by calling someone who I feared could potentially make fun of me online.

    Just saying that normal girls may suddenly be scared to be themselves for fear that they would be written about online in a neg way. 🙂

  5. Sudamericana

    If I was on a date with you and knew about your blog, on the one hand, I would find it very funny and a great source of interesting conversation for the most part.

    Nevertheless, I guess it would be a little too much information and I would not be able to avoid thinking about some of your statements, particularly in the most inconvenient of moments. I would most likely be evaluating issues such as “am I a whore or a conservative girl in DCB’s mind?”, or “which of the 9 top dating rules for women am I to/or should I follow or not?”, specially if I am assessing whether to have sex with you or not. So it would definitely act like a turn off, for both sides involved. At the point were I would have normally put out with any guy without inhibitions of any kind,I would be hesitant with you, and you would never call me back. So yes, “the blog does tend to bring out the inner paranoia in even the most laid-back and normal girls”

    Let me point out a contradiction in your post, though. While the title talks about how the blog has ruined your dating life, later you write that “it changes the dynamic of the relationship, not necessarily for better or worse…”. So, it seems you are ambiguous about the whole thing, and I would be too, since I am sure you have met at least a couple of girls through your site, at blogger HH’s, etc., so in that sense it may have brought some positive outcomes.

  6. JAG

    I’ve been reading this blog off and on for a couple weeks, and thus far been able to hold off on the comments. However, this post touches on something that I’ve been coming to terms with in my own dating life. This era of on-demand information is great, yet also makes everything much more transparent. From doing a Google “background check” to reading other people’s blogs (often anonymously, therefore not giving equal disclosure) we are able to find out way too much information about our prospective interests before we can even get to know them. Will we ever get back to a point where we can just get to know other people as they are? Everyone has pasts, has dated other people, has made mistakes, has had one too many, etc…DCB’s and other bloggers just happen to be available for others to comment on, judge, hate, whatever. But does that really give the readers to make those judgments? Particularly in light of the fact that they’ve probably done everything that we have, maybe more, but just aren’t honest about it? (I’m imagining many women readers thinking “OMG, I can’t believe he did that!” or “I’m SO not like that!” all the while repressing memories of frat parties, bachelorette parties, post-mortem breakup nights out, etc.
    So, sorry for the lenghty post, but keep on keepin on, DCB, because someday you’ll meet the woman who will accept you where you are, not where she’d like you to be.

  7. Ayla

    Hmm. Good points, JAG, but many women here seem to feel trepidation about DCB misrepresenting THEM more than they feel the need to pre-judge him. I think, for girls, this is more an issue of self-preservation than “judging the book by its blog.”

  8. KassyK

    Ayla-Agreed. I didn’t change my mind about DCB. Like I said-I thought he was funny but I was scared that he would put me into a category if I said or did the wrong thing in his mind.Scary to think that you could come off one way to someone and be put into a box…aka spinster, whore, conservative. I don’t think I am any of those…but who knows what he would have written. Its the paranoia…at least for me…not any judgement about him.

  9. DCB Post author

    I liberally used the word “ruined” in the title. Yes, dates are more headache inducing, but it hasn’t cost me a girl to my knowledge. I also left out that I get compliments often.

    “My mother warned me as a kid to not write things down because you can?t take those words back.”

    That’s a bit different. I don’t regret the things I write.

  10. JAG

    Ayla and Kassy, points taken, but really doesn’t it come down to everyone just being themselves? If the girls that DCB meets just relax and focus on letting him get to know them, I think things will be better off for all involved.
    And as for misrepresenting them–that again goes back to the transparency issue. Pretty much everyone “files” who we meet or date fairly early on, we all know this. So really, isn’t it just a matter of not wanting to know publicly which category they’ve been placed into??

  11. Sudamericana

    JAG, the huge difference is that with DCB you would know right from the start WHICH his ?files? are, which categories he judges people by, and how strongly he feels about these. This is not usually the case during the first dates with someone. So I think this knowledge would contaminate the normal course of thought on the average girl, at least to a certain extent. She might act like herself nonetheless, but I doubt she would not be affected in any way given this different starting point.

    As has been said in previous comments, I would not be prejudging DCB because what he has done in his life or the way he thinks ? since I would have gone out with him knowing this and perhaps I would have found this attractive? nor I?d be worried about what he writes about me later; but if I liked him, I would be myself, but I would certainly mind it if I am acting like a spinster, a whore, etc. If I didn?t care at all about what he thinks of me, then most probably I would not be on a date with him.

  12. Anonymous

    If I hadn’t known about your blog, I would have had sex with you on the second date. Of course I am posting this comment as anonymous, and of course you can figure out who I am through my IP # … but shhh… don’t call me out

  13. dd

    Growing up with very candid brothers, I’ve heard all of these conversations and more… to the point that I now just assume that you can find the DCBeast-side below every guy’s “date face”. Girls that come to grips with this realize they can trust a guy that exposes it all, so this could actually work to your advantage. Besides, not only is it real, but it’s pretty damn funny.

  14. Joe

    So, KassyK, let me get this straight. Girls will be “afraid to be themselves” with DCB because they’ll be afraid of what he’ll say on his blog?

    Assuming they wanted to, or planned to, treat him rottenly on a date, then, the good ol’ Blog will be the only deterrent to them? You think?

    I say, thank god then for this Blog for sparing DCB all that ill treatment he’d get if he didn’t have a Blog to report it on!

  15. Matt

    99% of what DCB says about women on this blog is accurate. As a result, it probably really only helps his dating life, because the women who get pissed off about this stuff are the women he and every man hopes to avoid anyway. But I do see how it may seem like a pain in the ass knowing you will have to be questioned and hassled about it on dates.

  16. KassyK

    Joe-I think thats a good point actually. The blog could end up working in his favor for those shtty girls that were going to try to use him for his blogging “celebrity” or to be a crappy date so your right–the blog could work in his favor.

    And Matt–Your right-if a woman gets pissed off about what DCB is writing about…then she shouldnt be dating him in the first place…but a lot of woman consider themselves something more than just a “file”..and I hope you would want to be placed in more categories than just male ones comparatively like:

    Big dick but no brain

    Ugly but funny

    Pretty and stupid

    –I like guys and I believe there are more categories for you guys to be placed in, just like girls have more categories. If there wasnt this world would be a really fucking boring place to be in…

    But I enjoy DCB’s posts and thats why I was posting back…just to give a shout out and say we may not be offended by the posts…just a little nervous sometimes…

  17. Cock Diesel

    Here, Here. I would like to propose a toast. I?ve been down since the early years and have always enjoyed your insights. So, here?s to life and personal evolution.

    Keep up the good work, bro.

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