I present you with the absolute worst new DC blog: DC Divas.
On a side note, why is it that this year when I go tanning it’s like all these guys go tanning now? I know there is the whole idea of the metrosexual and guys primping and shit but COME ON! You look like total fagots coming out of a tanning bed and your more tan then any girl in the whole place!!!
From this amazingly witty observation we can conclude that the authors are still in college… community college. Note the exclamation point usage.
I give this guy a fake number, you know my real number with a few numbers changed inbetween, and he’s like ok I’m going to call you write now so you have mine. BUSTED! I was like what? He was like, get your phone out and I’m calling you. HOW EMBARRASSING! I could not believe I got caught in such a situation so he got pissed and said a few choice words and walked away.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
The fake phone number guy made a serious mistake by going for the number of a girl who seems to regularly put out after thirty minutes of meeting a guy. If you can’t spot the obvious whore in the bar then you don’t deserve to get laid. Usually she’s the one who is grinding on half of the guys in the bar – when there isn’t even any hip hop music playing. The only thing that stops her from having sex right there on the dance floor is her friends who have to constantly pull her away from horny guys that are convinced they’re getting some.
So anyway we go back to their place and they weren’t lieing they did have a case of beer! The funny part was we probably had one beer before the hook up lines start coming out.. “You have a really nice figure, you must work out a lot?”, “You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen”, and then there was the line he thought would real me in… drum roll please! “Your eyes are beautiful, I could get lost staring into them” Little did he know (he must not read our blog!) he was already going to get some.
This validates my position that girls decide if they want to have sex with me or not way before I get her into my place. Back in the day I did some experimentation on how bad of an excuse I can use and still get a girl to come over. I will share the only excuse that didn’t work:
“Hey how about you come over and check out my new potted plant?”
She laughed and said, “Yeah right.” Then I just got her in my car and drove to my place. That was the birth of my no-excuse excuse, followed immediately by the toaster excuse.
We aren’t just dirty sluts that run around have sex with every guy we come across (we do have some standards)
The fact that they have to actually say this is a little disturbing. And notice how they said “some standards” instead of just standards. I have a feeling these girls are the ones who are having sex with guys who use really lame pick up lines. Why else would guys still be using them unless they are encouraged every now and then by easy girls who overuse the exclamation point? Female readers: when a guy uses a lame line on you, just remember that it worked on someone before… someone with standards lower than yours will ever get.
When I’m drunk, if there’s an elevated platform anywhere the chances are that i’m going to dance on it. And I love it when i know guys are staring up my skirt. It’s really hot.
I don’t care how old I get, but nothing beats the cheap thrill of “accidentally” catching a look up a skirt. I’m going to be that dirty old man who puts a mirror at the bottom of his cane.
OMG! so we are totally out and about and run into these guys that we met awhile back. I had “done a few things” with hot ass and C. was totally all ginding on sweet cock and she totally wanted to feel his manhood but didn’t get the chance cause he had a girlfriend at the time so they just made out a little.
I really hope this blog is fake.
– Credit: DC Blogs.