ICE CREAM INSANITY

Have you been to an ice cream store lately? Last week I went to a Haagen Daaz in Bethesda to get two single scoop cones (one cone was candy coated). The price: $10.

Let’s think about this for a second… a half-gallon of ice cream at the grocery store is about $4 if you get the one that’s on sale. For another $6 I can get cones, whipped cream, and cherries. For $10 I can throw an ice cream PARTY.

“But don’t you go to Starbucks and pay $4 for a cup of crappy coffee?”

Yes I do, but I also sit down for two hours and check out girls while I read newspapers, magazines, and books for free (Barnes and Noble Starbucks baby). At Starbucks I pay for a lifestyle experience of people watching and making my breath smell like ass, while at an ice cream store I just want some ice cream. And notice how no one actually eats inside an ice cream store, which usually is about the size of the Jiffy Lube waiting room. It’s too much of a risk to sit down at that table in the corner that you know is stickier than that a frat boy’s bedsheets.

DCB Sticky Rating’s:

1. Baskin Robins. What I don’t understand is how they are able to charge prices on par with Ben and Jerry’s when they are the McDonalds of the ice cream world. They share space with Dunkin Donuts for crying out loud. Their ice cream is good but their aggressive tip jar placements make me feel guilty every time I don’t tip, which is all the time. 2 sticky hands out of 4.

2. Haagen Daaz. The Ben & Jerry wannabe’s. Now that we are living in a patriotic conservative state, I think it is appropriate to change the name of this place to something less German, like Happy Days, which is probably what Haagen Daaz stands for anyway. 2 and a half sticky hands out of 4.

3. Ben & Jerry’s. I lube myself up really good when I go here because I know it’s going to hurt at the cash register. Nevertheless, their Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream is more enjoyable than a date with a DC girl. 4 sticky hands out of 4.

These ice cream places don’t need to look farther than the movie theater business to see what happens when you increase prices without increasing the experience.

32 thoughts on “ICE CREAM INSANITY

  1. sara

    “Nevertheless, their Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream is more enjoyable than a date with a DC girl”

    DCB… do you even go on dates with DC girls? 😉

  2. holiday

    Haagen Daz is the creme de la creme of ice cream. Pulling back the plastic wrapper on the pint is like perfection. I’m sorry Chunky Monkey and Half Baked don’t even compare.

  3. Spaniard

    where’d the shoutbox go? I liked it.

    Ice Cream is a waste of money, unless used as a tool of seduction.

  4. DCB Post author

    “Why am i here? I need to get a life.”

    haha you are addicted.

    “where?d the shoutbox go?”

    people weren’t really using it. plus it was a tool of the haters

  5. Liz

    Jimmy Cone in Damascus is pretty good. Prices are decent. Only drawback is that it’s always filled with lame ass kids from Damascus High School, and families of 4-8 people hanging out.

  6. J.P.

    Re: the gelato.

    A matter of preference. Been to italy, had it. For my personal preference my theory that Vermont=better holds true.

    P.S.: for salsa as well. Best salsa ever made:http://www.salsafromthegut.com/ No arguments will dissuade me from this conclusion.

  7. The Boy

    I think you should modify your dating experience….I think the ice cream is probably better than dating a NOVA girl, but definitely not a DC girl or a Maryland girl.

  8. James

    Must be some weird regional thing. The Baskin Robbins in Toronto always attracted hot bitches in the summertime. But in Windsor, not so much.

    Personally, I prefer the mom and pop style icecream places in the convenience stores, where two big scoops = $2, and it’s just as tasty.

  9. Lisa

    Sara took the words right out of my keyboard . . . I do not recall DCB ever writing about an actual date with an actual girl. When WAS your last date with ANY girl, DCB, let alone a DC girl?

  10. Anonymous

    “Baby Yogurt” in Florence, Italy.

    If you’re ever in Florence…I could use some now.

  11. Karen

    Jimmy Cone better than Dairy Queen? You can’t stop in Damascus without going to Jimmy Cone. As old fashioned and seasonal as this outdoor ice cream place is, it is always crowded when it is open, and some say it is better than Dairy Queen. Well, look out Jimmy Cone and Dairy Queen! Here comes Ritas! Speaking of great gelato!

  12. nidhi(patrick)

    i LIKE ICE CREAM AND I ALSO LIKE PATRICK SOOOOOOOOO MUCH HES MY BEST FRIEND WE EAT COTTON CANDY FLAVOR ICE CREAM AT JIMMY CONE ALL THE TIME ITS SOOOOOOOO DELICE

  13. chris from damascus (patrick) says

    you guys know i like ice cream and i also like patrick soooooooooooooooooooo much we r best friends we eat ice cream every friday together at jimmy cone without patrick i cannot eat ice cream

  14. Anonymous

    i love Hagen Daz…i’m going to da a party…i just love buiscuits and cream…it’ll be great…at least i hope…!:drama: byee

  15. Bob

    On July 19, 2006, Bruster’s Real Ice Cream opened at 18519 N. Frederick Avenue in Gaithersburg, 7/10 of a mile north of Montgomery Village Avenue. The ice cream is made on site every day. Not just a couple of flavors, but 24 flavors of ice cream and 3 each of yogurt, Italian Ices, Sherbets, and No Sugar Added Fat Free totalling 36 choices. The ice cream is really good!!!

    Bruster’s if open all year long with seasonal flavors (Pumpkin and Apple in October) and a drive thru. If it’s raining or snowing, the second scoop is free.

    Please give Bruster’s a try and see if you have found a new favorite ice cream spot.

  16. Matt

    Your an idiot! I’d like to see you open up an ice cream shop that had the prices your looking for. So, you offer these low prices. Now you need twice to three times the amount of customers to be able to pay your overheads, and make a profit. Lets say that you do have this customer base. Now you have one jam packed store, and people are going to start leaving. Your not offerering the experience you so speak of. Yes you could hire more people, and more equipment, but now your prices are going to go up. That’s if you make it past the first three to six months.

    I myself am a Jimmy Cone person. It’s been there for years. The ice cream is always good. And while there is a crowd there is a crowd of people, there is room for it. The people working there are friendly. It’s an all around pleasant experience.

    Your argument about an ice cream shop can be used on 90% of buisnesses out there. Come on now, I can by myself great steaks, and side dishes to make for my friends and myself. Or I could head out to Morton’s of Chicago and pay for food for myself that would have paid for everything needed for a night with my friends. If you ever want to have your own business, you need to look beyond the price, and find the value in what is being paid for. Today’s day and age, people expect customer service. You have to provide the all around package. At the same time you need to keep you business afloat.

    Good luck idiot!

  17. Pingback: Rising Sun » Roosh V

Comments are closed.