Something that gives me the sweats every time I think about it is accidentally getting pregnant.
I know several friends who have all been impregnated – “accidentally” although I have my doubts about a couple of them – one was married first, three weren’t married but are getting/got married, and the last two were in one of those situations where the father wants nothing to do with the mother or the child. Some of these women were drinking and using drugs up until a few days before they realized they might be pregnant; some had only been dating the father for a few months.
This makes me wonder. I mean, we all grew up in the same town and got abstinence-only sex ed, but come on. Who leaves things up to chance these days? “Oh, well, maybe I just won’t get pregnant!” Do you know how nature works?
The most interesting part of all this is that in many of these cases, the baby is forcing some unwanted changes on the couple. I mean, obviously there’s a time to grow up and stop acting like a kid, but getting married for the sake of a baby when neither of you has a job (or the guy doesn’t have a job and you’ll be paying for everything) doesn’t seem to make the most sense to me.
Birth control can get expensive if you don’t have insurance – and even if you do – thanks, insurance companies who cover the full cost of an ED drug! – but it’s certainly cheaper than having a child. Women shouldn’t have to rely on the man to provide the goods, but why so many women are sexing it up without a backup plan is beyond me.
Don’t think that I’m accusing these women of making a mistake. I’m not. I’m happy for most of them, if they’ll be happy having a child and getting married. And maybe there’s something wrong with me for shuddering at the thought of having kids. But I can’t even take care of a plant, I’m not even remotely interested in looking at baby things or seeing children’s movies (I call them “cartoons”), and I’ve never babysat a day in my life.
So call me old-fashioned, but I think when a woman gets knocked up and has to make major lifestyle changes that she may not be ready to make, that’s just as much her fault, if not more, than her partner’s. But maybe an accidental pregnancy is what some people need to make them grow up. Or maybe situations like these are what explain the incredibly irresponsible parents around these days.