MAKING PBS FAIR AND BALANCED

A powerful Republican thinks PBS is a bit too liberal. Because Republicans have ultimate power through the mega-mandate smacked down in November, there will be some subtle changes to PBS programming, starting with Frontline documentaries. All past documentaries that have liberal titles will be changed to something that isn’t so insanely biased. Here are the proposed changes:

Old liberal title: rumsfeld’s war
New fair and balanced title: rumsfeld’s awesome war

Old: is wal-mart good for america?
New: is wal-mart good for america? why yes, yes it is.

Old: the jesus factor
New: how to automatically get 40% of the electoral vote by incorporating the jesus factor into your campaign

Old: al qaeda’s new front
New: how we’d all be dead without george bush’s aggressive stance against terrorism

Old: the choice 2004
New: should america take a chance with new, untested leadership?

Old: tax me if you can
New: tax nonpayment by lower and middle classes a serious national issue

Old: the wall street fix
New: the wall street fix myth

Old: the war behind closed doors
New: everyone but cheney out the room

Old: inside the teenage brain
New: how teenage sex is corrupting america

Old: abortion clinic
New: pictures of aborted fetuses

Some new documentaries are already in the works:

– kool-aid: not just for kids
– questioning leadership is unpatriotic
– having a large credit card debt isn’t that bad
– why you shouldn’t always trust science and so-called “evidence”

And the 2006 April Fools special:

– big oil’s record profits will be used to lower gas prices some time in the future

16 thoughts on “MAKING PBS FAIR AND BALANCED

  1. PBS Rocks!

    Who cares if PBS is liberally biased, isn’t there enough conservative bias out there corrupting our children anyway (*cough* Fox News & Bush *cough*)? Leave PBS alone!

  2. greg

    PBS Rocks: The fundamental issue is that PBS, being funded by our own tax dollars, should strive to be unbiased, regardless of the biases of other outlets.

    I would agree that there are a lot of conservative media, but so too there are a lot of liberal media. Broadly speaking, the media balance in this country is pretty balanced right now, with the dominance of liberal media in network broadcast news and print media offset by conservative dominance of cable news and radio.

    Spaniard: I am living proof otherwise.

  3. James

    I don’t think most righties would bother watching PBS anyways. Too many other things going on, like the latest American Idol episode or signing up for Jerry Springer shows.

  4. CruelHazel

    The truth of the matter is, there is no unbiased media. It’s best to get the best information you can and do your best to look past the spin.

  5. greg

    James: More righties, including myself, would watch PBS if they weren’t so blatantly biased.

    See that’s the thing that some networks don’t get. There’s a whole huge market of people like me who like hearing a conservative viewpoint (in addition to other viewpoints, of course) in the media. The reason Fox is so sucessful, is that it’s really the only network to seriously tap into that market. PBS could win over a lot of viewers if it added a couple conservative shows or reformed some existing ones to incorporate conservative views.

    CruelHazel: I agree completely.

    Spaniard: Why the hate? Does my existence somehow threaten you?

  6. Ned

    just so you all know, there’s really no such thing as no bias. No one should care about PBS’s liberal bias. At least they aren’t liars. I believe PBS to be the only decent news organization around — they’re the only ones who don’t modify their news around making a buck (although that begoramma shit gets old quick)

  7. Harrison

    Since when is the print media biased, Bush had wayyyyyy more Newspaper endorsments than Gore in 2000, and more than Kerry in 2004 (although not as many as before) Even if the main papers do have a liberal bias, most Americans don’t read the NY Times and the Washington Post.

  8. Secretary Girl

    The Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) is NOT the Public Broadcasting System (PBS). PBS has utlimate control over what they choose to air and when. CPB has absolutely NO editorial control of the shows it funds OR whether PBS ultimately decides to air those shows at all. Hooray for all those making their voices heard to keep public broadcasting alive. But please know there’s a difference between the two entities…

Comments are closed.