It’s amazing how quickly things change. Just months ago I’d stroll into a happy hour with groupies wanting to meet me and guys wanting to learn how to be me. Now I’m a relic, a dinosaur, in a land of unmemorable blogs. Shockingly, I was blown off by a girl last night who was not told of my importance beforehand. If I want to get blown off I’d rather it be in the hands of coked-up, hot club whore than a blogger.
One encouraging moment from last night was meeting a 40 year old female commenter. I often make fun of older women as spinsters with unreasonable standards, and regardless of whether this particular one was a spinster or not (she did mention her dating life quite a bit), the way she takes care of herself would put many 25 year old girls to shame. She has given me hope, that in fifteen years when I pass 40, there will be girls like her who look good and have enough wit and intelligence to maintain a fun conversation. But she is the exception, and I have a feeling that my future will be spent trolling myspace for young girls, enticing them with the prospect of fancy dinners and vacations.
I like to think I have a sort of agenda-dar, the ability to tell if people have some type of malicious intent. I can tell when someone is telling me something spontaneous or something that has been in planning for some time. My agenda-dar went off at the Local 16 happy hour, when a certain unknown blogger made false accusations about yours truly. It went off again last night when SethJ’s Canadian girlfriend talked to me. If you don’t remember him, SethJ is a ex-blogger who had to shut down his page in shame because of real-life conflicts. The girlfriend started off on this speech on blogs, eventually getting to mine and ending it with, “…but I don’t read yours anymore.” I wondered if SethJ put her up to this as I let her continue. I was expecting her to hit me hard with how much I suck but I think she got scared and trailed off into the “I don’t understand why anyone blogs” spiel. The irony of this, of course, is her boyfriend was a blogger… who wrote about trying to hit on girls… who got sloppy and was busted. People, in the future, practice a little more before coming to me with some hate. I have buttons like everyone else but you really need to do your homework. It is disrespectful to me when you come at me with amateur hating.
And speaking of hate, I had a chance to reminisce about the good old days when the CPMC was around to hate on. Their demise has left a huge void where I have no real focus for my negative energy. My talent is going to waste.
POSTSCRIPT: The superlatives came in and I won three of them: Most Controversial, Most Likely To Be Completely Fictional, and Most Likely To Go Into Therapy. What they really mean:
Most controversial: “It’s amazing how he doesn’t sugar coat to appease the masses.”
Most .. fictional: “I have never met such an original man in my life, so how could he possibly exist.”
Most .. therapy: “He knows way too much for such a young, tender age. I hope he is not crushed by the knowledge of the world.”