As told to me by a friend:

So I never called her after we had sex, and she called me leaving messages, saying, “Why is it that you guys never call me back after we have sex? It just keeps happening. You promised you’d call.”


I have summarized my friend’s experience in the following cartoon:

If you repeatedly get dissed by guys, then it’s safe to say that you can start blaming yourself, especially if you are this girl.

My shoulders are strong, ready to carry the load if needed. My arms are big & pillow-like. They open wide & can keep you warm. My stomach is round and big. This is the place where my son grew. This is probably the most hated part of my body. But this place is home. This is where I carried life. This is the place where my passion lives.

…and for you it’s where all your passion dies.


  1. C

    That was harsh. It was funny at first, but then I read her little poem at the end and I realized how sad it was that people lie to themselves like that. I hope your friend didn’t have sex with a woman like that and then not call. He would be directly responsible for her suicide.

  2. Sudamericana

    What if a guy does not call you back even before you had sex with him? Is that better or worse than the situation described above?

  3. always write

    C, she is not sad and she would not commit suicide because she loves herself. She’s got more confidence than me and all you self-loathing judgmental assholes put together. I’m sorry, maybe you just caught me on a bad day, but this time I have to speak up: You went too far with this one, DCB. I get your “controversial lighthearted misogyny” schtick, it seems to work for you — I mean, even I come back to read sometimes — but for chrissakes learn where to draw the line.

  4. Aja

    DCB: Do you think when you find someone you will stop hating women?

    You’ve been pretty consistent in terms of your disenchantment with women, or at least with not finding your perfect one. So I am curious will all this hating end when you fall in love? I need to be prepared to read the fluffy crap when it rolls through.

  5. Anonymous

    DCB —keep speaking it buddy. Sometimes the truth is very hard to come to grips with.

    It’s very sad, but it is a harsh and tough world out there.

  6. Anonymous

    look at her interests:

    “Dining” – obviously
    “Playing Sports, Health/Fitness” – maybe 60 pounds ago

  7. A_Unique_Alias

    I think she’s marketing to the type of guys who are into pillow-arms and massive bellies.

    But it kinda freaks me out that someone her age would say that her kid grew in her “stomach.” *shudder*

  8. Nicole

    Do girls really believe that he’ll call? I don’t even expect him to say the line “I promise I’ll call.” If he did, I’d probably give him a befuddled look, and ask “Why?”

  9. Muffin

    “You promised” is the kind of thing children say to each other. Clearly, your friend was correct not to call.

    “Why is it that you guys never call me back after we have sex?”

    Because of conversations like this.

  10. DC_Cookie

    “Why?…You promised…” = Insecure as shit. I almost think he should call her back and tell her why. “Because you’re awful in bed. Take a class…”

  11. Lonnie Bruner

    Now I’m no relationship expert, but I think it’s safe to say that the ladies view the DCB as “the marrying type”. If not before, certainly after this post.

  12. O-face

    I can’t hate on her. Everybody wants to be loved. Just men and women playing silly little games too inflate the ego. But yeah, she got used. To bad!!

    *Statistic–30 Percent of the people you see on a cell phone talking are actually in conversation with nobody.

  13. Marc

    DCB – Keeping it real.

    The really sad thing, is that you’d think people like that would learn from themselves.

    If you’re fat and ugly, you don’t want to have an attitude that makes guys think you’re going to suffocate them with you pillow (read ham-like) arms and big round (read obese with a side of cottage cheese) belly that birthed my son. :shudder:

    If I were a fat chick, I’d say something like, “You know you like fat chicks! We suck better cock cause we’re always hungry!” or even better, I’d just wear a 5XL T-shirt that says, “Fat chicks take it in the dumper.”

    I’m willing to bet you’d get a better turn out.

    Jesus, I need a bath.

  14. Andy


    Why can’t women accept reality?

    Guys are not attracted to women with unattractive features, I don’t give a shit how good your personality is.

    You can sit there and blame DCB all you want, but that’s not going to change the fact that you’re fat.

    Either accept it or change it. You’re the only person who can control your own life.

Comments are closed.