I stopped Googling people’s names. In the history of Googling people, I’ve never came across one juicy or dirty fact. You always get tame results about some race they ran, some award they won, or some idiotic quote they gave to their college newspaper. Even if you Google me, the worst you’ll find is a homoerotic movie I was an extra in. :boring:

Instead of Googling, the new stalker wave is Myspacing (or Friendstering) someone’s info. You get photos, interests, and an idea of what her friends are like. You may not think this information is valuable, but it’s GOLD if I’m trying to get into her pants.

For example, say a girl has this in her profile:

Interests: Horseback riding, hip hop music, ipod, cowboys, danish pastries

Next time I’m out on a date with her, all I have to do is drop something like, “Yeah the other weekend I went horseback riding with my new cowboy hat while listening to hip hop music on my iPod. I took breaks every hour to eat some danish pastries I made.” Then I watch as her pupils dilate with rapport-filled goodness. I wouldn’t dare add her until after I seal the deal.

If I’m out on a date with you and I ask you how to spell your last name, you now know what it’s for.

(Note to cute girls who read this page: Leave your email address when you comment. It won’t show up but I can oogle you later on myspace. :hump:)

22 thoughts on “MYSPACE STALKING

  1. holiday

    Myspace is really amazing. It’s like people forget that what they are posting is on the world wide web. I have a friend who googled her name and was shocked to find out that her myspace page was the second result to come up. When I was looking for a new roommate, I looked up almost every single person on friendster, because there is a high correlation between the people that use craigslist in DC and friendster. My ex-boyfriend is the most amazing. He and his loser friends write about where they are going on Friday night. How he got an STD from some girl he met in the bathroom. Awesome.

  2. KassyK

    I’ve myspaced you DCB–You are the king of all horse back riders in ALL of south america

  3. Sarah Jayne

    I read a Vanity Fair article on My Space and didn’t know what all the fuss is about…

    But now I get it… it’s for women who want the validation of having dozens of creepy, not-so-attractive men add you to their “friends list”

    Super! I’ll stick to my blog.

  4. KassyK

    Sarah Jayne-I find MySpace kind of creepy too…a friend begged me to do it bc she knows I’m a huge Friendster freak. For some reason thought I find Friendster less scary. Maybe bc most of the people I know are on that? Hm.

  5. Kathryn

    I heart Jay McCarroll. Here he is being interviewed by

    I noticed you’re not on MySpace. Why not?
    I used to be on MySpace and Friendster, and then I got rid of them before I went on the show. It had nothing to do with going on the show. I realized I don’t have sixty-nine friends. I don’t know why I’m trying to kid myself and think that I do.

    Isn’t it good publicity though? Daniel Franco has a MySpace profile. Lots of Project Runway people do. They have five thousand friends and comments like, “You’re the BEST! I hope you win!!!”
    There’s a thing called mystery and distance, and if you want to be one of the minions you can have your little MySpace profile. But if you want to elevate yourself to superstardom, then don’t have a MySpace profile. You know what I’m saying? If you’re that accessible, people are going to think so-and-so’s not really that cool, but if I’m in hiding for seven months and I remerge, then people are like, ahh! The fucking walls of heaven have opened up and the light shines in. It’s a marketing move.

  6. Bad at Life

    The problem with Myspace/Friendster stalking is that it goes both ways. It has the unfortunate consequence of allowing women to actually investigate my claims about being an astronaut or a pirate.

  7. calgarienne

    I googled myself and some rather interesting stuff came up – no nudie shots though thank God. I was wondering how the reporters from those Conservative magazines were getting ahold of me and lonebehold – even my cell phone number appeared. A little frightening…

  8. jessa j


    umm are you guys too OLD to have jumped on the facebook bandwagon?? facebook is the shit too. – sooo much less creepy.

    and p.s. friendster sucks my ass – hardcore.

    although i recently saw a news story about the dangers of myspace and young girls. they showed fathers their 14 year old daughters profiles and thier pictures. it was hilarious. i tivo’d it and made popcorn. all the girls said they were at least 2 years older and had sexay pictures up! one dad cried.

    i stay on myspace to moniter the young girls in my life – like cousins and neices. (like this girl is a good friends little sister and i happen to know for a fact shes only 13 – despite what her profile says.)

    DCB – don’t believe everything you read on myspace – my profile says i’m a 7′ 10″ / Body builder paranormal investigator whose intrests include kicking babies and danish pastries. 😉

  9. Anonymous

    keep googling. Someday you may find your new squeeze’s real name, their spouse’s name, information on the house they bought, their wedding anniversary date, pictures…..

  10. aChangedMan

    I myspaced a girl I met, only to find out she is married, is bisexual, and has modeled for alot of car magazines.

    I cried that night… oh oneitis, its just me and you.

  11. jessa j

    “the link of the 13 y/o girl is the hottest thing ever posted here”

    anon – you should see her sisters kelly and georgia. they are a rediculously hot family. i mean like STELLAR.

    thier poor father.

  12. Anonymous

    Really, is it better to find out someone?s passions, etc. from a myspace account, or does it take away some of the fun and newness of getting to know that person? Where has the mystery and challenge gone in dating? I guess this assumes that the person you?re dating isn?t secretly married and a porn star…

  13. Anonymous

    just seen this website that allows people to track who’s been on their myspace. your stalking days are numbered…

  14. Pingback: What if he really likes horseback riding with a new cowboy hat while listening to hip hop music on his super awesome ipod? « yellow is the color…

Comments are closed.