Most guys get girls through their social circle or work, places where they have a girls attention whether she likes it or not. Since there will be repeated exposures and conversations, there is no pressure for the guy to quickly get the girls number or ask her out on a date. Now compare this to a guy who meets girls in clubs. He has a short amount of time to make an impression through all the distractions of loud music, alcohol, and friends. In a club I have 5-30 minutes to step it up, as opposed to my social circle where I have almost an unlimited amount of time.

The easiest way to get girls is by having her attention. It’s kind of like falling in love with a song just because you hear it every day (i.e. N’Sync “Bye bye bye”); the familiarity breeds some love before contempt eventually sets in. If you want to have sex with models then you work as a photographer or lighting umbrella holder. If you want to get with drunk party girls then you work at a college bar. With the approach-game-close model, you never really have her attention long enough to create a strong impression. That’s why one-night stands or a couple dates are as far as these meets will go… there’s little substance beneath the physical attraction. Of course there are exceptions, but the stigma of meeting your significant other in a bar isn’t much lower than meeting through the internet.

There has been a few instances where I meet a girl and can immediately tell that she doesn’t like me (hard to believe I know). But after time, if I have to interact with her repeatedly, she starts to warm up until it’s obvious she likes me. This can take a while, almost two years in one instance. Nothing changed in those two years, but the constant exposure of everything that is me eventually grows on a girl. She is like is a loaf of bread sitting on top of the refrigerator, while I am that fungus that somehow gets in, forming a loving symbiosis that lasts until we are both rejected by society in old age.


  1. sara

    DCB I’m going to agree with ya on this one. It’s very true that sometimes you might not think a guy is all that attractive, and not be interested, but when you’re around him a lot and get to know the personality, etc, over time he tends to get a lot cuter…

  2. Aja

    “But after time, if I have to interact with her repeatedly, she starts to warm up until it?s obvious she likes me.”

    This is certainly true, but I think only happens if there is some level of attraction, even if it is just the way he smiles, laughs, shares the same musical interest or whatever. If there is no attraction, however minimal,it ain’t going to happen.

  3. holiday

    Do you think you are Hitch or something? I think you’re wrong and I subscribe by the ladder theory.


    In the first five seconds, you get placed in the friends ladder or the maybe I could get into this ladder. You don’t get to pick what ladder you’re on. Sorry.

  4. The Senator

    Interesting. What if the bread is fruit cake?

    Hey, this weekend…bring your boys to our party if you’d like…preferably with girls too.

  5. The Socialite

    Whatever happened to you guys yesterday? I got drunk at the waterfront waiting … j/k.


    Maybe. Maybe not.


  6. ecasisdead

    I refer to this as the Komodo. That is, the komodo dragon kills its large prey usually by getting a good bite in the hindquarter, and then following for days or weeks until the big game drops. The saliva of the Komodo Dragon is so laden with bacteria and germs that sepsis (severe infection) sets in and disables the prey. The komodo then feasts on the rotting carcass, usually while the animal is still alive.

  7. DCB Post author

    The ladder theory only applies to nice guy losers who girls don’t want to have sex with. To cool guys, the theory is laughable.

  8. DCB Post author

    Socialite: We had to get home quickly cause of Insomnia’s bike… it was so hot his coolant tank was boiling.

  9. The Socialite

    DCB: Yeah, I got the message. That sucks. I thought that maybe the coolant thing was temporary. :/ Damnit.

    I did end up hanging out with The Bartender, The PR Girl and The Workaholic for a while down at The Waterfront. Then, I went tipsy shopping, hung out with The Gay and bought a bunch of stuff that did not match anything at all — umm, purple sequined sweater … what was I thinking? Then, I met up with The Boyfriend and had some dinner at The Restaurant that The Friend owns.

    Hey! Tell Insomnia to get that motorcycle fixed! I wanna play! 😀


  10. DCB Post author

    We decided not to come up during the day anymore because of the heat/traffic. Next time we’ll come up at night and holla.

  11. James

    Why don’t nerds let the ladder theory die already? It’s like they’re making excuses for their failures…

    But nice post. Maybe this explains why so many people end up doing their secretaries/coworkers, cuz you’re stuck around them all the time.

  12. The Comrade

    On May Day I did end up hanging out with The Premier, The General and The Dissident for a while down at The People’s Hall. Then, I went vodka shopping, hung out with The Infidel – what was I thinking? Then, I met up with The Athiest and had some dinner at The Commissary that The State owns.

  13. inSOMnia

    My bike could have made pasta it was soo hot. I took it for a 75 mile ride. It also needed oil. It am going to give it a tune up on Sat or Sun so while its apart I will check everything out.

  14. Gawking

    Thank you for providing a window into the life and thinking (if you can really call it that) of a complete moron.

    Sign up for the short bus buddy. You qualify.

  15. kanan

    you mean ‘naive’?
    AFC=Average Frustrated Chump

    i still use it sometimes, what’s the substitute word..seriously?

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