COMPLETE PHONE GAME SYSTEM MATRIX GRID FOR RESPONSE TIME ANALYSIS… WITH SPRINKLES

A universal female behavior is not answering the phone when a guy calls for the first time. I don’t care what her age is, what race she is, where you met her, or how long you macked to her, but she will not pick up the phone when you call. It’s such a 100% certainty that I call knowing full well I will be leaving a message. It doesn’t bother me because the time it takes for her to call back is great indicator of how I should proceed.

If she…

1. Answers the phone. Desperate, pathetic loser. Who answers the phone from unknown numbers? Tell her you are calling from the Herpes Clinic and you got some good news and bad news. But mostly bad news.
2. Calls back within an hour or two. Immediate top billing. Take her to at least one nice place on the first date.
3. Calls back same night after a couple hours. Slight game player. Treat her as a sex object first, then maybe as a real person later.
4. Calls back the next day or after. Whatever. Amuse yourself with absurd phone conversations and potential “lets meet up” plans. Or put her on the one-date-hail-mary plan where you go for it all on the first date without regard to how sleazy you may seem. Can you say… dollar beer night?

This system isn’t bulletproof, for I have had girls that turned out to be hardcore flakes call me back within a few minutes. But a good rule of thumb is the faster the call-back, the stronger her interest. Reward the girls who are most interested. Don’t waste your time with a game-player; let some other chump subsidize her alcoholism.

57 thoughts on “COMPLETE PHONE GAME SYSTEM MATRIX GRID FOR RESPONSE TIME ANALYSIS… WITH SPRINKLES

  1. RCR

    Muffin,

    Yes, sometimes I like to look at your mom’s twat through a mirror. Considering her girth, it’s the only way to see it.

  2. m

    And, aChangedMan? You are = you’re. Not your. Whether your phone thing works or not, you are, at base, semi-literate. Good luck out there.

  3. single in the city

    My policy is to shake a douchebag after they hand me my drink. If that doesn’t work a fake number (and name, natch) usually do the trick: http://www.rejectionline.com/copycat.html

    Key is you have to tell him it’s your home/office # or else he will be retarded (“mentally challenged” for those PCers out there) and try to call your phone right away “so you have his number.” Gag. Or he gives you his number and wants you to call him right there from the bar so he can see you aren’t dropping fake digits. Usually telling a douche you don’t have a cell phone is an effective conversation ender. But surprisingly not always…like even when you’re sending a text to a friend on the other side of the bar (that reads “HELP!”) while saying you don’t own a cell phone. I have trouble feeling any sympathy for boys this stupid.

  4. ZZ

    BS!!! Just the other day a guy I really liked asked me out for the first time…I didn’t have my cell with me when he called (it’s called I WORK for a living and often CAN’T talk on my cell during the day!!), so I didn’t even see he’d called until that night (at which point I called back). These stupid scenarios are NO indicator of N-E THING!!! I did go out with him, and I could have been totally turned off by the date, event though I was initially very interested. Point being, these games don’t tell ya SQUAT, you have to give the person a chance and get to know them.
    P.S. The date went great, and it was a total turn-on that HE similarly didn’t play any stupid games, set up a date right away, called me right after our date and set up a second date before the first one was over. He gets bonus points for not playing it cool…fellas and ladies, there are PLENTY of people out there who will NOT be shy to show u they’re into you (if they really are), so why waste time with the beeatches and bastards who play games? NO NEED!

  5. zac

    What shall I Do ? After she gave me her number she ignored me. As soon as I got her number It tooks me two days to call her back, but after that she just keep listining my message and NO Answer. now it is more than a week, I did call her four times and now I’m Stoped. Is there any Advice for me ? is this a kind of game or anything else ?

    Zac

  6. Andy

    No definite answer Zac, except that you shouldn’t bother calling her anymore. She’s not playing games with you, she’s not interested and hopes you’ll take a hint and quit calling….. consider yourself lucky.

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