The chances that things aren’t going to work between me and a girl hovers around 90%. We’ll go out, bang, and then experience an amicable phase out. Feelings are rarely hurt. Often times, a warm friendship develops that involves going out and drinking in a group (things don’t feel “weird” in groups). It’s during those times I spot her hot friend that I just must have.

I know a lot of guys like to bang a girl and then try to revisit the vagina at a later date. I don’t see a problem with that, but it’s not really my style. Once it’s done, it’s done. I tough it out through the droughts to stay motivated in my search for new vagina. But God forbid that possible new vagina is best friends with old vagina. The same girl that loved your cock and told all her friends about it will now do anything to cockblock you with fury.

Sure I can be a little less lazy and find a girl that is not one degree away from an ex, but if she’s hot I want it and I don’t care. The last thing I want to is make the ex feel uncomfortable, but then I would be thinking about someone else’s feelings before mine, and that really doesn’t make a lot of sense. Plus do you realize how much easier it is to bang a girl in your social circle than from a cold approach?

If I was boring in bed then I think the ex has every right to cockblock me, to prevent her friends from experiencing a bad lay. Since this is not the case, a cockblock on her part that doesn’t allow me to bang her friend is just pure selfishness on her part. Who is she to deny her friend sexual pleasure? If I bang a girl that is incredible in bed, I encourage my buddies to go for it. I’ll even bring the camera. It’s a shame girls are too insecure to do the same.

19 thoughts on “SELFISH

  1. KassyK

    Well, I’ve seen it happen in my group of friends (mostly back in college) over and over again. This exact situation. The problem is when the original girl cant handle it…My group of girlfriends were split down the middle TWICE bc the original girl and the new prey were fighting about it. Both times I played neutral but its dangerous territory and it fucking blows to be forced to take sides.

    If the lay is THAT necessary that you’d be willing to screw up a group of friend’s dynamic–then go for it…but if not-plenty of hotties to go after. Well maybe not in DC.

    And I’ve also seen this phenonenon with groups of guys too…most guys are not cool with it…unless the girl was just a lay…

  2. V

    Kassy raises an interesting question:

    DCB, if one of your buddies want to hit and quit an ex would you be totally fine with it. Say it’s an ex you really liked at the time…I think I know what you’d say, but I’m still curious.

  3. V

    P.S. And, I know you said “If I bang a girl that is incredible in bed, I encourage my buddies to go for it,” but your post said an “ex” which means to me that there was more to these cockblock situations than just a good in bed girl, like you were friends w/ the group or something.

  4. Roissy

    ex-GFs: no prob w friends P&Ding her if i was the dumper. def a prob if i got dumped.

    former GFs (ones with whom you are still friends): friends can have at her, tho they’d be better exercising discretion in this case.

    past GFs (ones where there was never an official break-up. frex, she moved out of country): no way. she’s still my “territory” in case fates bring us back together.

  5. Pagan M.

    Yeah, most girls don’t like sloppy seconds (or feeling like they are your second choice). But girls with low self esteem are not so choosy. I say, if you can pull it off, go for it! It’s kind of their problem to sort out.

  6. Mandy

    It?s not that girls are necessarily insecure.

    Are you sure that, after you pumped and dumped, there really WEREN?T hurt feelings? You said “feelings are rarely hurt,” but girls have a way of keeping up appearances in public, and privately loathing situations or people. For all you know, the girl could be secretly pissed at you, but too ashamed to admit she got played. She might be protecting her friend from getting played too.

    MAYBE she?s shallow and doesn?t want you to give her friend more attention than you gave her, but there?s also a social weirdness element in all of this.

    I don?t think it?s normal for girls to enjoy sharing sexual partners, because it?s not a conquest thing for us–or at least, sex is not the conquest. I wonder how crazy it would be if a girl started a blog called DCBachelorette about trying to get men to buy her the nicest things and take her to the nicest places. There would be a lot of male haters on her site.

    To a girl, sharing a sexual partner is weird. But then again, girls have more limits sexually anyway. It?s how most of us are raised. In general, women don?t buy a lot of porn or chase men to get laid. Even the “lady on the streets and freak in the sheets” won?t necessarily give it up right away.

  7. imstilldreaming

    “The chances that things aren?t going to work between me and a girl hovers around 90%.”

    In the words of Ron White,

    ‘Boy you know it seems like you’d start to go, maybe it’s me? Maybe I need to read a book. I seem to be the only common denominator in this math equation of love.’


  8. Jada

    Interesting post DCB. Among my group of female friends it really is about loyalty. Frankly, it doesn’t cross our minds to consider dating a guy that anyone of us have already had. NO guy is worth it. NO matter how gifted he may be in the sack.

    If a guy did a pump and dump thing on either one of us.. we’d want NOTHING to do with him. Then again we are pretty cautious about not putting ourselves in the pump and dump situation.

  9. Anonymous

    Mandy’s right. There are a lot of social complexities and subtleties in this world that DCB fails to recognize.

  10. DCB Post author

    I don’t really understand the stigma of sloppy seconds. Unless you are trying to get with a virgin, you are always getting someone’s “sloppy” seconds… more likely sloppy 24th’s. Assuming your friends are relatively clean, it’s probably a smarter health decision to go after your friend’s leftovers than some stranger’s. That way you have a better picture of his or her sexual history.

  11. Eugenius

    I was taught to share……most of the time I dont care, unless we are serious……everyone is fucking someone elses first, its never a virgin, not after highschool, these days no normal relationship involves a virgin female, not after 18….unless the girl is retarded or from Utah…

  12. Eric

    I think it’s instinctual to go after you friends’ past exploits. You think an antelope has any reservations about hooking up with another member of the herd? You’re right – it reflects the company you keep. If you’re not a sleezeball, your friends probably aren’t; therefore, your friends’ parterns are more trustworthy than the average girl on the street.

  13. Q

    I think Mandy has it right in regards to the possibility of hurt feelings. Even if she’s hurt, a girl with pride is going to put on a good show of pretending not to be in order to a) save face, b) stay close enough to try to win you back over (those poor, deluded girls), or c) stay close enough to get back at you.

    As for a girl “deny(ing) her friend sexual pleasure” out of “selfishness,” I have another thought. You may or may not realize that many women expect their first sexual encounter with a man to be one of the least satisfying encounters they will ever have with that man. Our bodies are a little more complicated than yours, and even a man who is generally skillful won’t automatically know everything it takes to send us through the roof the first time around. Things get better for both partners with time as we learn how to really turn each other on & please each other more & more. If a girl knows you’re a pump & dumper, she may be saving her friend the time, effort & emotion of getting involved with someone who won’t ultimately be a deeply fulfilling sexual partner.

    Plus, like it or not, most women want more out of a man than a 90% chance of being pumped & dumped. We girls look out for our friends. You’d warn a guy buddy if you’d taken a girl out a few times and found out she only wanted a guy as a drink dispenser/meal ticket, right?

  14. Anonymous

    i just did a keg stand while listening to limp bizkit while wearing a hat with greek letters on it after reading this post

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