One of the most useful skills a player can have is the ability to screen for a woman who wants sex. You can have the best game in the world but if you are investing energy into the wrong person then you will walk away disappointed. I’ve lost count of how many times I have spent hours on a girl only to find out she has intimacy issues. If within the first five minutes you can’t determine if she will have sex with you tonight, then it’s time to develop a better screening strategy.

I have a two-level screen process when it comes to meeting girls. The first is a compatibility screen. Simply think of all the girls that have ever seriously liked you and note down the physical and personality traits they possess. There is a pattern. It is easier to bed women who you share a natural chemistry with, but keep in mind that it is possible to manufacture chemistry for a short period of time with a girl you are normally incompatible with.

The intimacy screen is much more important. There is just one question you need to ask yourself: Is she serious about fucking? Here you need to think of all the girls who you have had sex with quickly and the traits that they put out. Again, there will be a pattern. Some of it is obvious: a girl who is outgoing and drinking alcohol is more likely to have sex with you than a shy girl who doesn’t drink. Sometimes it comes down to a certain vibe, and depending on your look it could even be a certain country that she is from.

If you are a guy who likes to get sex with the minimal amount of effort, you need to constantly reevaluate the pick-up as it is happening, asking yourself if she is serious about fucking you. This is the number one way to maximum the use of your time in a bar or club. Say no to wasting time on girls who aren’t serious about fucking, unless you are at the club to look for something more.

Do not confuse a girl who is serious about fucking with a girl who is a slut. I know girls who do not have many guy notches, but they have tons of sex because they find one guy they like and hold onto him for a long time. I also know girls who have slept with tons of guys, but their activity comes in spurts and they do it more because they need attention instead of because they just met an interesting guy. A girl who is serious about fucking will have sex with a guy she is very interested in, and won’t make you wait two months or some other arbitrary time that is longer than necessary.

Experience will be your guide in determining whether a girl is serious about fucking or not, but I have happened upon a few observations that can help in your determination.

1. Physical proximity. After attraction has been established, does she mind if you enter her physical space? Does she mind if you rest your hand on her hip? Does she mind if you rest your hand on her ass? If she does, she is not serious about fucking.

2. Dance floor. While dancing does she mind if you stick your crotch on her ass? Does she mind if you get a massive hard-on? If she does, she is not serious about fucking.

3. The kiss. Two hours. That is the longest it should take for a make-out. If she pulls back to block a possible kiss attempt when you get your head a little close, she is not serious about fucking.

4. The hand-hold. After dancing and maybe even kissing, there will be a time where you move to a different part of the club. Put out your hand. If she doesn’t grab it with a semi-firm grip, she is not serious about fucking.

5. Friend ditch. If she constantly needs to check on her friends and is scared of losing them, she is not serious about fucking.

Sometimes a girl passes every test but logistics make it impossible to seal the deal. Or maybe she really is serious about fucking you but she can’t do it until the first date because of some rule she just can’t break. Use proper judgment on whether it is worth it for you to proceed or not.

Now I’m sure many guys reading are thinking something like, “Wait, I met this girl and I got her number and after a couple dates we had sex.” That’s something I’ve done too and it’s definitely one way of getting sex, but it involves more work than many men are willing to put in. If you are trying to spend money and take girls out on dinner dates, I think you are looking for girls who are serious about dating instead of serious about fucking.

35 thoughts on “SERIOUSLY

  1. Jay Gatsby

    Hate to be critical, but I don’t understand this one:

    “2. Dance floor. While dancing does she mind if you stick your crotch on your ass?”

    How is this possible? If it is, why would she mind?

  2. KassyK

    Ok, the only one I have to disagree with the crotch one UNLESS you are out together already and the crotch is being grinded into the ass (then it is ok) Randomly ass grinding a girl you don’t know is just sleazy.

    But as for the rest-you are scarily right on. I am obviously a non-slut (not a ton of notches) who loves fucking (a lot).


  3. Discombulated Diva

    You hit the nail on the head with this one:
    “Do not confuse a girl who is serious about fucking with a girl who is a slut. I know girls who do not have many guy notches, but they have tons of sex because they find one guy they like and hold onto him for a long time.”

    I couln’t agree with you more… its definitely important to know and be able to recognize the difference… especially if you’re a guy and you’re only looking for a one time thing…

  4. T.

    Minor nitpick. You ask “does she mind if” then follow with “if no, she is not serious about fucking.” If she doesn’t mind all those things, then she IS serious about fucking. “If no” should be “if yes.”

  5. Mandy

    Some girls who like to tease do all of this, and there’s no pay-off involved for the guy. How would you distinguish those girls from the rest?

    And edit: #2 should say “your crotch on her ass.”

  6. Jay Gatsby

    “Or maybe she really is serious about fucking you but she can?t do it until the first date because of some rule she just can?t break.”

    I wonder whether women who have such an artificial rule about fucking on the first date have similar artificial rules for other aspects of their dating lives (including relationships).

    To Mandy’s comment — yep, there are plenty of those. They’re called attention whores.

  7. KassyK

    Mandy-Good point out for #2…your crotch on your own ass is a pretty mean feat to pull off…but if you can do it and she STILL won’t put out…ahaha-she doesn’t want to fuck. Lol.

  8. Jay Gatsby

    KassyK — not to be pissy, but I think I noticed that little typo first (see the initial comment to DCB’s post). 😉

  9. oface

    I’m well hung but even I can’t put my crotch on my ass….typo….But crotch grinding is sex with clothes on because you get the full effect without the juices, diseases, and fake conversation afterwards……….Am I the only one searching for Billy Ocean??????

    Where is Billy Ocean????????

  10. freckledk

    I felt compelled to say to the young guy chatting me up last week, “I have to tell you — you’re wasting your time. It’s almost last call and I don’t want to ruin your chances of finding someone to hook up with.” He was actually really pleased that I was so straight up about it. He thanked me and went a little further down the bar…and found himself a little something to take home.

    I never would have said this in my 20’s. I don’t know why. But it now doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

  11. Jay Gatsby

    Freckledk — probably because you would have wanted the attention from him in your 20s, and wouldn’t have cared about what he wanted.

  12. White Dade

    Yes, absolutley. And I will say that the girls who are serious about fuckign are way beter tha nthe sluts. sluts, for the most part, are terible in bed becasue they are not fucking for physical enjoyment but rather for validaiton of their low self-esteem. the girls who fuck because they want to fuck are the best, and are quite often not sluts. but when they find something they like, they are not afraid to go for it.

  13. Jay Gatsby

    Awww DCB, you took away all of our fun. Now we have to get back to discussing the actual SUBSTANCE of your blog entry.

  14. Wendy

    I have to agree with this one. And we all knew what you meant about the crotch thing.

    The number one rule, proximity, that is the most important step. If you can’t get into a girl’s space, there are no other steps.

  15. fanman

    Usually if she’ll come back to your place and let you strip off her clothes she’ll be willing to bang you, but I’ve been surprised on that one before too.

  16. Anonymous

    good advice… i started a list of characteristics for girls that i keep finding are always into me and i’m now realizing that its shy, hot indian (dot, not feather) girls…. how weird is that? do most indian girls like white boys?

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