SEXUAL GIMMICK

Many guys are insecure about their bedroom performance, overcompensating with elaborate moves or techniques that makes the girl wonder why you are trying so hard.

You only need one sexual gimmick to keep a girl coming back for more. There are three that I know of:

1. Be pornstar big. This really excuses you from lackluster bedroom performance. In fact, you don’t even have to care about satisfying her but they will come back anyway.

2. Have a passion for eating a girl out. I’m not really into this unless I’m drunk, but a lot of guys don’t mind it. I wish there was a product that would make it taste like your favorite food, instead of a handful of pennies.

3. Be romantic. Somewhere there are guys who like to light candles, put on romantic music, and engage in tantric foreplay sessions that bring him little pleasure, except for the satisfaction that years practicing on his pillow was worth it.

Instead of being an all-around good lover, I suggest you pick one gimmick and develop it as your specialty, something that sticks out enough so that it’s easier for your girlfriend and her friends to make fun of you in private. At least you’ll be known for something.

20 thoughts on “SEXUAL GIMMICK

  1. Anonymous

    Haha! You can’t go wrong with a big floppy penis if you want a funny picture.

  2. Clutch

    It’s like the word poop or do-do I don’t think we men or little boys will ever be able to say them with out a little snicker. I like the art but her boobs could have been bigger…….boobs, “snicker”

  3. P

    I pity the poor guys who live in small towns. Everyone knows the guy with the big dick, and guy with the small dick. Everyone knows the guy who can’t get it up, and even the guy who can’t get it up with Viagra. Talk is cheap and the mouths don’t stop wagging.

    Having lots of money is the best sexual gimmick. Let’s face facts: our country thrives on materialism. What guy doesn’t want to be a shady CEO making $100,000,000 a year? Who needs to have a big dick, or eat someone out? These rich CEOs just hire someone to do the preliminary dirty work. The girl gets all hot, wet, and bothered and then you take over.

    For the preliminary warm up, I hire a guy that only has a 7-inch dick, and a smaller tongue. Then when I jump in, I’m the real stud.

    P

  4. Siren

    Men crave the taste of “me”. NEVER, ever had a guy complain about my smell or taste. They act like it is the best flavor of ice cream they have ever had in their lives.

    It is ALL about the food you eat. Ladies if you want him to lick it you had better cut out the meat, garlic, fish, onions, cabbage, pretty much anything “stinky” at least 24 hours before hand.

    I’m a vegan… Vegans taste best!!

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