Men are able to use both personality and status to get women. The personality man uses words, attitude, and body language. The status man uses clothing, job title, and cars. It’s easy to imagine a line with personality on one end and status on the other, where a majority of men fit somewhere in between.

I use about 85% personality because it is the best way for me to attract the kind of girl that I like. I dress in simple, dated clothing. I drive an old, practical car. I don’t put too much time into my appearance. I am reluctant to talk about my job. I am slow to reveal interesting things I do that may impress women. My game highlights my humor and energy instead of my material possessions. It pays off: I date girls who are low-maintenance, laid-back, creative, and spontaneous.

My job title used to be a humble one. It said I’m neither poor nor rich. Because I don’t attract girls who are looking for status, it was never a problem when I told these girls I need to watch my spending.

But now I have a new job title that is much more flashy. For the past two weeks I have a stronger answer to do the inevitable “What do you do” question. Girls now ask more about my job than they did before, maybe trying to piece together how much I really make. It completely changes the vibe of the encounter where my career achievement gets the spotlight instead of my sexy banter.

The worst thing a guy can do is use his money to attract a girl. Using status does get your foot in the door but it has two large drawbacks: (1) it prevents you from building a proper foundation to consistently get and keep girls, and (2) it attracts the wrong type of girl.

In The Prince, Machiavelli talks about the two ways to gain power: ability and good fortune. Princes who use ability have a hard time establishing their rule, but an easy time keeping it. Princes who rise through good fortune have an easy time establishing their rule, but a hard time holding on. Ability allows you to meet future challenges and adapt to the constantly changing environment, characteristics needed to successfully rule a nation.

Because […] he who has not first laid his foundations may be able with great ability to lay them afterwards, but they will be laid with trouble to the architect and danger to the building.

When you get girls through money, you are using good fortune. You will land some easy bait, but you have used a lure that many other men have. Not only is your hold on the woman tenuous, but your ability to get other women depends on external factors such as your bank account. What happens when the status man goes through a rough spot? His real power is weak, and he is under constant pressure to maintain the image of success even when his financial house is in disorder.

As a club veteran, I see the types of girls that give second looks to sharply dressed men in VIP booths. If you walk down the ghetto while waving hundred dollar bills in your hand, I doubt you will be surprised when someone robs you of it. Money attracts people who like money. Status attracts women who want this money; the shallow kind of woman that still has trouble searching for a deeper meaning in life besides collecting overpriced purses.

Using personality (“game”) to get women allows you to weather any storm. It doesn’t matter if you live with your parents, work at Starbucks, or dress in Old Navy clothing because as long as you have the ability to engage women emotionally and push those attraction buttons, almost any woman can be yours. Broke or not, the only thing that would stop you from meeting that hot girl in the dairy section of the supermarket is yourself, not your wallet.

I went back to telling girls my old job title. Modest, simple… just like the girl I want.

72 thoughts on “STATUS

  1. TC the Terrible

    Hed – My place was so clean THE WOMAN thought I was gay when we first met. Sure was fun to prove her wrong.

    Minji – Let’s take this point by point.

    Here is how they do it:
    Live in Northern VA (Leesburg & Dulles are more affordable)
    Already doing that. We live in Centreville.

    Share one car. The wives drop off and pick up their husbands to and from work. I guess that works, as long as the kids don’t need to go to the doctor or sports practice at the same time that Dad gets home.

    Shop at Target and other discount stores for as much as you can. Clothes, diapers etc.

    We get groceries at the Commisary and other things at the PX, you can’t get much cheaper than that without going used. And we refuse to eat used food.

    Purchase a home in the area, and rent out of the basement to pay a big chunk of your mortgage, taxes. One brother does this and the other one rents a townhome for $1300 a month. Buying a home of any size right now is pretty much out of most people’s reach. Those in the income bracket you are talking about sure as hell can’t buy a big enough space to have kid AND rent out a chunk of it.

    Cook your husband?s lunch to save on him eating out. I do most of the cooking because I rock in the kitchen and on the grill. Taking my lunch has always been a way of life for me.

    Iron clothes instead of dry cleaning. No need to iron or dry clean for my job. No savings for me there.

    Use basic cable, basic phone packages.
    Already doing it.

    It can be done, it?s not easy but it?s worthwhile. Definitley though don?t get into using credit cards. I have seen my whole family live off one income. Don?t get caught in the double income trap.
    Double income as a trap is a myth. And the American Dream.

  2. me

    You guys are hilarious. Why assume I am a MAN? I already told you I am a woman. NOT a typical one but still a WOMAN. It just boggles my mind that anyone would put up with DCB and his idiotic, poorly-written posts. I was compelled to comment. I mean here is this guy who promotes a “PUMP AND DUMP” shirt, who vacations at OCEAN CITY (dump), and who can’t get a REAL girl to the beach but instead brings an inflated bimbo AND a huge boombox??? He is SCREAMING for attention and advice and even after all this, says he just wants a modest, simple girl to be attracted to his personality? Yeah, RIGHT. He is about as REAL as I am SWEET. He is soo loaded w/ shit that it comes out in TORRENTS.

  3. hedonistic

    Even post-pubescent furry bachelors get wise eventually, that’s why.

    Besides, anyone with a blog is slightly-to-extremely exhibitionist, IMHO, just like any entertainer. Nothing wrong with that.

    Now excuse me while I go expose myself on my own blog.

  4. enzo

    I don’t think “What do you do” is such a terrible question. Assuming I only worked 9-5 and also got 8 hours of sleep, “what I do” accounts for half of my waking time. That said, I don’t judge someone on what they do or how much money they make, but rather if they like what they do. There is a lot you can learn about someone based on what they do, just don’t use shallow yardsticks like salary and title.

  5. spcwby

    Shades of Machiavelli ……

    Check out “What Would Machiavelli Do?”
    (The Ends Justify The Meanness…) by Stanley Bing

    Tailor to your game accordingly! 🙂

  6. me

    YOU have reflected upon my existence thereby bringing me out of obscurity and making my existence “worth” something.

  7. hedonistic

    Oy that’s harsh, darling, but soooooooo effective. I’ll remember that for the future; good thing it’s my day off today! :mr green:

  8. Anonymous

    Ouch, DCB.

    Well, as was said somewhere before, the “what do you do” question isn’t always a tool to divine the amount of someone’s income, but because some people have really interesting jobs and the choice of employment says something about someone, especially if they like what they do, or if they hate it.

    You shouldn’t be afraid to tell people what you do, because it will help you separate the wheat from the chaff. Golddiggers will show their true colors in short order. If you care about meeting quality people, then you will withstand the process. If you are so codependent that you just want anyone, then, by all means be afraid of the question.

  9. DCB Post author

    I don\’t mean to be a dick and wouldn\’t give away personal info (like her email address, IP address) , but she (or he) is really pushing it

    p.s check out Kimberly Zelnick

  10. nabeel

    Someone asks me “what do you do?”
    I smile and say, “do you really care what I do?”

  11. Anonymous

    Good lord you guys are assholes. Leave the woman alone. It’s not a fucking joke to give out personal data.

    Well, what goes around comes around.

  12. Anonymous

    DCB is a pretty fair guy, and I’m sure it was warranted. He might not have said “stop or I’ll post your IP address” but I bet he asked the person to stop (i.e. the comment got deleted, but “me” obviously had emailed DCB).

    You’re absolutely right, what goes around comes around, and that person was acting like an utter asshole.

  13. Daniel

    Speak all the narcissist bullshit you want. Who cares ?

    But did you really expose “me” for doing the same, but with a sharper tongue?

    because if you did, you’re a fuckin’ cowardly pig. You?d be a traitorous Nazi scum if you did.

    I hope you didn?t.

    Cause if you did- then you are.

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