You meet a girl and get her number. You call her but she doesn’t answer, so you leave a message. Less then 24 hours later, she calls you back when you weren’t at your phone. But she doesn’t leave a message. What do you do?

This is actually a very hard dating question. Other variables such as initial meeting duration length and speed of callback play a factor. This girl probably isn’t big on reciprocity, and wants to make you sweat a little. Chances are she has a lower-back tattoo and would make for an excellent notch.

A man’s options:

1. Don’t call back. This is for the man who, like Robert DeNiro in Heat, is not afraid to lose it all. Chances are the girl won’t call back a second time because she is making the assumption that her phone number is displayed under “Missed Calls”. If you think you are the man who doesn’t need to chase, then this is your option. Don’t worry, there will be another guy who will close her for you. His “I fucked this slut” story will beat out your “I didn’t fuck this slut” story.

2. Call back. If you think your connection is weak, then you may need to call back. Chances are she won’t answer, so you have another decision of whether to leave a message or not. This then goes beyond the scope of this post, with many possible outcomes, like one of those multiple ending books you still read. I can’t approve of this move because it sends the message that you don’t mind putting in more work than her.

3. Text back. Oooh didn’t see that one coming did you. This is where new technology has given us more response possibilities. Texting is in the middle of the above two options, and the road I would suggest guys take in a situation like this. If you have to resort to text game playing then you probably lost anyway, but it’s one of the options where you don’t seem like a little bitch.

What I do: I delete her number off my phone. If she wants to talk to me she has to call back AND leave a message (since I don’t answer calls from unknown numbers). Girls who don’t leave voicemails are always a headache.

28 thoughts on “STICKY

  1. Anonymous

    This is for the man who, like Robert DeNiro in Heat, is not afraid to lose it all.

    That is one great quote.

  2. Lonnie Bruner

    Wow. You’re really getting good, man. Keep it up. I thought I’d lost you on the Third Eye Blind bullcrap a while back, but now you’re on. Run with it.

  3. Laura

    When a girl calls you and you text her back you are saying one of 3 things:
    A) I’m a pussy.
    B) You’re a booty call.
    C) Hi. I am an insecure, game-playing, overanalyzing pussy, and you, sweetheart, are just a booty call.

  4. Namaste

    I believe this is good advice for women, too. If a guy doesn’t leave a message, he’s sketch.

  5. holiday

    DCB-I’m so excited that you’re back spouting your dating advice to DC Dating Deliquents. If I called and didn’t leave a message, I would expect a guy to call me back. After all, he was the one who called initially anyways.

  6. Whatever

    Send a text back. It’s the easy option. Calling back makes you look too eager. If she does not call back, delete her number. Dead to you.
    And yes DCB I am glad you are back to your regular writings!!

  7. Anonymous

    But somehow they always manage to crawl back after you deleted their number. Why is that? Self-esteem?

  8. Anonymous

    Answer to your first question: You don’t do anything. If she calls back, she calls back, if not, then you’ll never talk to her again. Calling and not leaving a message is the same thing as not calling. She is just an idiot for not using *67.

  9. chicbutnotshady

    you probably didn’t like her that much.

    there are some girls that play games. they want you to chase. you don’t want to chase this girl. a text would be fine but puts her in a stronger place. she is probably trying to assert herself. if she likes you/ wants to see you, she will give in and call. but if it is a game already – probably going to stay one. only when you meet someone you like enough to not want to play games with is it real. but you gotta want it to be real also. if not, it is all a game so have fun playing!

  10. Anonymous

    what if you prefer txting over calling, just in general? r u forever going to be seen as a player?

  11. nabeel

    *sigh* what’s the point in playing phone and text tag? just set a place and time to meet for a date – is that so difficult to do? 🙂

  12. anon

    this ridiculous book called the list came out for girls this week – how to know if he will marry you in the first 30 days. i think when a guy is REALLY into you – he does call. Why? Because he actually likes and wants 2 talk to you. I personally thinks it is totally sexy when a guy txts me. But a call means he is actually wanting to know me. There is a difference…

  13. Eugenius

    You should ask yourself one question……what is more important my ego or a chance at getting pussy…….if you answer ego, you are actually more insecure than proud, you prove nothing by not calling back…..even though a call back may seem desparate, its not, the satisfaction of actually getting laid when all odds were against you is great…

  14. Anonymous

    If they don’t leave a message, fuck em’. They end up calling back anyways. How are you supposed to pinpoint every number that rings your cell anyways?!? If they think you know who they are by just you seeing their number on your cell then they need a reality check. Either text me or call and leave a message, if not your not getting a call back because to me… it wasn’t that important of a call anyways.

    Other shoe, if your really into this chick call her back in a 12hr period. I wouldn’t let pride get in the way if that were the case… she may be a shy.

  15. Andrea

    Maybe she just doesn’t like to leave messages. I figure, why leave a message, they have caller ID, they will know I called and call me back.

  16. DC_Cookie

    If she calls back and doesn’t leave a message it means she doesn’t ‘really’ want to talk to you, and was only returning your call out of courtesy. Don’t call OR text back. If she actually wants to talk to you, she’ll indicate that by leaving a message or calling back again.

  17. hot chick

    whatever, she knows that you know that she called. that’s usually enough for me; being in the ‘missed call’ list is usually as good as leaving a message. or dcb, your message just really sucked.

  18. Nabs

    Eh…just call back, ego is ego but only if you let it be…if you feel that “if I call back I am pussy” then don’t call back, personally I don’t think that, If I call back, she doesn’t pick up (I won’t leave a msg though), thats it, she doesn’t call oh well, she does, then great. I’m not less of a man if some random chick (that i’ll prolly never meet again) thinks that she has some “edge” over me.

  19. Miss Metropolis

    I rarely call people back … and I answer 1/10 calls. It’s a time thing. I don’t have time to chat. Text me … and you have a 90% chance of being answered. Email me and I’d say the chance is 50-50 that you will get a response … I get around 150 emails a day, and chances are (unless you have your own filter) that your email will get lost in the shuffle.

  20. Anonymous

    I just did this. There is this chick I met once, I called her about 2 weeks ago and I don’t remember if I left her a message or not so over the weekend I called again just to say whatup and left a message. No callback. So as of now, the second call was in my eyes far and beyond so as of today she’s earned ‘fuck you’ status if she ever happens to call back… which she probably won’t.

    Listen cunt, don’t give me your number to people (guys or girls) if you don’t want to be called, no need to be an asswipe and waste everyone’s time. bitch. Rant over.

  21. Damien

    I agree with the last poster. I met a girl at a bar and had a few drinks together. Conversation wasn’t terrible. Got the digits and called within 24hrs to setup a date and got blown off. Called the next day and left a v-mail. No point in calling after that. What’s up with that? Some woman give me an explanation for this behavior.

  22. SVM

    Geesh, this whole game-playing trend that started in the mid-90s with the publication of The Rules and subsequent backlash on the guys’ part – it’s gotten way out of hand. It shouldn’t be so complicated.

    1. If you like a person, call and leave a message if they don’t pick up.

    2. If they like you, they will call back and leave a message if you don’t pick up.

    It’s known as “communication”, and is a game generally only played by rational adults who aren’t interested in hurting or taking advantage or each other. And why would you want to be involved with anyone else? Honestly, people.

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