A COCKBLOCK TO REMEMBER

Back in July I was talking and dancing with a girl for a while, away from her large group of friends. If you can get a girl away from her group, you’re more than halfway there.

Towards the end of the night, one of her friends found her. “We thought you were dead!” The friend started crying and gave one of those hugs where tears would be left on the person’s shoulder. There was nothing I could do. My girl got dragged away by a group of girls who one hour ago were too busy shaking their ass to even realize their friend existed.

The “friends” are the only people in the universe whose mission is to prevent me from getting what I want. If I’m nice to your friends it’s not because I like them but because I need their lame stamp of approval since you are too insecure to make decisions on your own. In fact, I hate them and hope they die.

Okay, not die, but I curse them to at least becoming subway bag ladies.

26 thoughts on “A COCKBLOCK TO REMEMBER

  1. Blocked.

    Exact same thing happened to me at a house party this past weekend. I was talking to this hot chick for well over 2 hrs. Had my hand on her ass — she leaning in — ready and primed to go. Then the ugly friend gets tired because she isn’t getting laid and just won’t stop bothering us. It was enough to end it all. I try to talk the girl into heading back to the place for some late night drinks, but her friend doesn’t want to cab it home by herself. Is it our fault you aren’t getting laid?

    I will never understand this. Why do women do this.?? It is so lame.

  2. Jay Gatsby

    The CB is something that is totally in the control of the woman you’re targeting. If she wants to go home with you, she’ll make it clear to her friend(s) that they should leave without her. Unfortunately, many women see the situation as being forced to choose between her friend(s) and some guy she just met. Who do you think she’s going to choose? Women with stronger personalities (or who are strongly attracted to you) will risk annoying her friend(s) by telling them to leave without her, and will simply patch things up the next day (sharing the juicy details of your night together as a bonus).

  3. DC_Cookie

    FYI – A girl isn’t going to leave a guy she’s talking to and go back to her girlfriends if she’s actually into him. At least not without leaving behind a phone number… It’s not cock-blocking so much as ‘rescuing.’

  4. SuburbGirl

    She’s right. It’s rescuing. Her friends didn’t tear her away, she gave them a look or signal and they saved her. Sorry!

  5. Jay Gatsby

    DC Cookie and Suburbgirl — I’m not sure I agree if the person doing the alleged “rescuing” is the ugly friend who hasn’t gotten any attention all night. She’s the proverbial “third wheel” to her hot friend and the guy she’s hooked up with for the evening.

    If more than one girl comes over, then yes, it’s more likely a misplaced rescue attempt. In that case, I’ve seen the girl leave to go to the ladies room with her friends in tow — and then return alone. Obviously, a conversation occurred, reassurances of being safe have been exchanged, and promises to call the next day have been made.

  6. Roissy

    it’s not always a rescue. often, the ugly/fat CB will intrude while i’m in deep with my target and i can see she doesn’t want to play caretaker to the CB friend but her sympathy compels her to assuage her guilt. and grabbing a number while little miss black hole is orbiting is a tactical grenade.

    it’s a common fallacy that guys are more competitive than girls. guys are more *intensely* competitive but girls keep their simmering envies and jealousies active in perpetuity. guys form male hierarchies quickly and violently, guns a-blazing, but once the dust settles every guy accepts his place. the silverback stays at the top of the heap for a long time. the betas learn to find slivers of self-amusement in their low rank.

    girls, otoh, are constantly battling each other for alpha female status and their hierarchies are much more fluid, as recent studies of high school cliques have shown. there is frequent turnover amongst alpha females. the theory goes that because there is less genetic and phenotypic variance between females of fertile age than there is between males (that is, more females bunch up in the middle of the bell curve while more males occupy both the left and right-hand tails) the urge to claw your way to the top is a much more reasonable expectation among women.

    a flock of Girls Going Out may to the untrained eye look the picture of communal tranquility and effortless egalitarianism, but the truth is indeed much darker, as most truths are. peel away the giggling and smiles and you will see the razor-sharp fingernails and icepick stilettos digging into the backs of their best friends.

    a seasoned player knows to use this social dynamic to his advantage.

  7. Mandy

    Hahahaha

    Oh shit, Roissy…”peel away the giggling and smiles and you will see the razor-sharp fingernails and icepick stilletos digging into the backs of their best friends.”

    I’m afraid you’ll think I’m lying, but when I go out with my girls, it’s definitely not like that. We respect one another’s decisions to hook up with whomever we want, as long as:

    A.) The girl is having a good time and not secretly rolling her eyes at us (it happens);
    B.) The situation appears safe (IE the guy doesn’t look like a serial rapist or the situation isn’t shady);
    C.) The girl didn’t specifically request to be rescued beforehand (this happens–some night girls know that alcohol will make them do regrettable things, and they warn their friends),
    D.) We haven’t heard bad things about the guy’s reputation (DCB, are you sure the group of friends didn’t have some visitors to your site?).

    I concede, some girls are definitely jealous and competitive (like when DCB wrote “Mediocre Women Want Hot”), but generally if a guy has made a strong choice about a girl he likes, the other girls will submit if none of the four factors above are influencing the decision.

    I was put in the terrible situation of cockblock before. My friend was practically begging to be rescued from this guy who wouldn’t leave her alone, so I had to leave the guy I was into to go and “rescue” her. It sucked. But it happens, and it’s not always the “ugly friend” who cockblocks.

  8. KassyK

    Agreed…its rare that a girl would leave if interested with no means of contact. It happens but its rare. If a guy is talking to me that I am interested in…he’s getting my number even if the CB is in full effect. Girls find a way.

  9. Sex & Moxie

    It’s all about jealousy. If one girlfriend sees the other having fun with a guy, even if it was designated a “girl’s night out” then you don’t do anything to interfere. The friend was being an insecure drama queen intent on making sure that is SHE didn’t get a phone number then no one will.

  10. Days of Broken Arrows

    As always Roissy is dead-on. Nice job, Roissy. Anyone who ever dated a girl in college and watched her roomate get weird, knows the competitive female spirit.

    In the dorms, when you dated a girl, even if her roommate didn’t really like you she would prace around the room half-naked and talk dirty constantly. All for attention. If this didn’t work the badmouthing would start. Contrary to what Kassy says, women are the most easily influenced people on earth — which is why virtually all advertising is geared towards them.

    Work the same way ina club and women don’t even realize when their friends are doing this to them. They just think “I didn’t like him anyway,” because some friend said the guy was a loser because he was, you know, wearing the wrong shoes.

    Then, when the guy was no longer dating her roomie, the flirting, ect. stopped dead. It’s all about the power.

  11. Jay Gatsby

    “The friend was being an insecure drama queen intent on making sure that is SHE didn?t get a phone number then no one will.” — Sex & Moxie

    Why do women do this? Would it be “the right thing” for the girl who was dragged away by her (ugly) friend to make it up to the guy if he calls her to go out on a date? (e.g., paying for the date, paying for herself, picking him up, or even engaging in whatever activity she would have engaged in with him if she had not been dragged away, etc…)

  12. HeidiChick

    Huh – Dude – well what is it you really wanted? I’m sure you only had the BEST of intentions….the start of a beautiful relationship??? Sometimes girls can smell that a mile away….

  13. A

    “I need their lame stamp of approval since you are too insecure to make decisions on your own.”

    I don’t agree. When I was in uni I went for the “good guy”, the “gentleman”. Even though my friends did not think he was “hot enough”, that did not mean I wasn’t completely into him.
    I admired and adored this guy completely- it was his geeky attitude that I was attracted to. He and I don?t care at all what others think of us.
    We are from two different cultures, religions and races, and we definitely get disapprovingly looks, but who the hell cares?

    We’re married now, and my girlfriends who thought he was a total waste of time, realize how amazing he is, because I realized it first. I don?t think girls really care what their friends think. After all, I am not marrying my friends, or raising kids with them, or growing old with them. Women are very instinctual and we don?t need our friends to tell us if the guy is right for us.

  14. Roissy

    “my girlfriends who thought he was a total waste of time, realize how amazing he is, because I realized it first. I don?t think girls really care what their friends think.”

    do you always contradict yourself within the span of two sentences?

    “Women are very instinctual and we don?t need our friends to tell us if the guy is right for us.”

    women are not as intuitive as they like to believe they are. that is why they look to see what other women consider attractive in men. pre-selection by women is one of the most potent weapons in a guy’s arsenal of heart slaying. a guy who saunters into a club with a hot broad on his arm is gonna get way more looks from other women than another guy equal in every respect but sans woman.

    women use other women to judge men because men’s sexual market value is more intangible than women’s value. it’s like that cute blouse you’ve had your eye on. the same blouse in wal-mart just doesn’t seem as intriguing a purchase as that blouse would in muleh at a 500% markup. well, a guy with a trophy girl is a guy at 500% markup.

  15. The other chick

    Oh c’mon we’re not ALL that bad. I’m the other chick, the ugly girl, the “friend”

    I do my best to facilitate the friend hook-up. And why not? I like to see my friends having fun. Sometimes though, like some have said, you have to do the “cockblock.” Mandy is right on.

    The most amusing part is watching the guy be fake nice to me. There are some pretty crappy actors out there.

    Can I just tell the guy to cut the BS? In the nicest of ways, of course, and not in front of my friend.

  16. Jewcano

    From Mandy:

    A.) The girl is having a good time and not secretly rolling her eyes at us (it happens)
    = I’m not even sure. The girl is deliberately hanging out with a guy she thinks is a douche? And is incapable of walking away/saying no thanks/get lost/anything at all? Way to empower each other.

    B.) The situation appears safe (IE the guy doesn?t look like a serial rapist or the situation isn?t shady)
    = The guy looks like such a pussy he’d never do anything more threatening than doing her hair. Honestly, a girl could be dancing with George Clooney and one of her friends would come up with an excuse if she felt like throwing a block.

    C.) The girl didn?t specifically request to be rescued beforehand (this happens?some night girls know that alcohol will make them do regrettable things, and they warn their friends)
    = Huh? “Tonight I’m going to act like a drunken whore and throw myself at strange men, just to get attention. You girls make sure I’m nothing more than a drunken tease.” Is this really what you meant? Way to go, lush.

    D.) We haven?t heard bad things about the guy?s reputation (DCB, are you sure the group of friends didn?t have some visitors to your site?).
    = If a group of girls has “heard about a guy” it’s bad. Again, he could be the head of Doctors Without Borders and one of the girls would think they’d heard somewhere that he’s a bad tipper and throw the block. Most likely, if they’ve heard of him, he’s slept with another friend and either dumped her hard or wasn’t worth keeping, both reason to throw the block. If they’ve never heard of him before, he’s a total stranger, must be a serial rapist.

    The only safe way to penetrate a group of girls is to bring enough appealing wings, or strike bargains with other men, to attract/distract/intoxicate all of them at once. Otherwise, forget about it.

  17. DCB Post author

    All of you are fools. Did you not read what i wrote? “i thought you were dead” with hysterical tears. Just another standard cockblock, right.

    “Oh c?mon we?re not ALL that bad. I?m the other chick, the ugly girl, the ?friend? ”

    Yes, you are. You are the lowest of the low in any club or bar. Worse than the greasy middle eastern men

  18. Eugenius

    girls are not helpless and can take care of themselves….especially in public places, dont need to be a hero, go find a corner to sit in and wait, or GO HOME!!!

    i second dcb, and i raise one…..i usually take it a step further because i believe in teaching an idiot a lesson….if you cockblock me….you get humiliated on the spot, right in front of everyone…i have no remorse…..if i am sucking face or even talking to your friend and you bring your lame ass to pull her out, and if i see that you are actually succeeding, you will get humiliated…………done it many times, will probably do many more

  19. Jay Gatsby

    Eugenius raises a good point, although his tactic might screw up any chance of getting laid if the target would have told her CB’ing friend to back off. Then again, is getting laid worth the price of having your integrity, honor, manhood, etc… insulted by the CB-throwing friend? Most guys wouldn’t even look at things that way, so blinded would they be by the chance of getting laid. They would just sit there while they get run over by the CB, and then later that night or the next morning wonder what happened (or worse, what they did) to screw things up so badly.

    I don’t see any problem with telling the CB’ing friend that you know EXACTLY what she is doing. What is there to lose? If the CB is successful, you don’t get laid. If you insult the friend in front of your target, you don’t get laid. Same result, but in the latter case, you walk away with your head held high, while the friend and your target walk away knowing that their childish little tactic was as transparent as a plate-glass window.

  20. Roissy

    “I don?t see any problem with telling the CB?ing friend that you know EXACTLY what she is doing.”

    bingo. but you can do this in a way which maximizes your chances of pussy.
    the perfect answer to a CB is this:

    ‘you seem like a really good friend to [target] so it’s no wonder she designated you the CB! listen, me and [target] are getting along really great right at the moment so if you’re gonna cockblock now is the time to do it, before we pass the point of no return. ;)’

    later on, if you see the CB again, you can say:

    ‘hey, you missed your opportunity back there!’

  21. Mandy

    Jewcano, I’m not saying I always agree with the reasons behind a cockblock. But this is what I’ve seen, and 9 times out of 10 a girl who willingly walks away from a guy she likes is doing so because her friends are “rescuing” her. If a girl really likes you, NOTHING will keep her from giving you her number. You blame the cockblock on the friends, but if your game is tight, the block won’t happen. Period.

    This is nothing against you if you’ve ever been cockblocked. But girls will find crazy ways/reasons to give you their number when they’re interested, in my experience. But I’m from the west coast, so maybe things are different here…

    Also, I’d like to point out that sometimes I’ve had GUYS ask for help from other guys to get a “psycho bitch” off of them when it’s ruining their game with someone else. Isn’t that kind of the same concept? Someone is rescuing someone else from an awkward social situation.

  22. Mandy

    Oh, but DCB, you’re right. “Hysterical crying?” Um, yeah. They were asking for attention. That was incredibly stupid and a fairly rare situation. I think you are right about those girls…attention-starved and desperate. Terrible.

  23. THE P.I.M.P

    OR you could just not be a pussy and ask the girl for her number before or while she’s
    being “rescued” and then call her later and see if she responds to a date. This seems like the best approach unless you’re trying to be the one night stand master or something.

    Bottom line. Sack up. Be a Man. Don’t let her get away.

  24. MD

    Women who know what they want don’t need their friend’s approval. And anyways, if the girl is hanging out with the right friends, those friends will not interfere. They know it would be useless anyways. I recommend hanging out with grown-ups.

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