SPAIN: THE CHART (PART 9)

Ladies and gentleman, the mullet is alive and well in Spain. Maybe you can consider them stylish mullets, but they were still mullets, sported by half the native girl population in Barcelona (and in lower numbers elsewhere in Spain). Even though these girls seemed to rock the mullet well, I was still disturbed.

One word can best describe Spanish girls: juicy. You just wanted to bite them. I would say they are two-thirds South American and one-third white, with a ratio that changes depending on where you are in Spain. Barcelona had less whiteness, which showed in curvier, darker women while Seville had more whiteness with the most blondes in all of Spain. Barcelona had the most beautiful girls, very closely followed by Granada.

It’s very rare for a Spanish girl to have neither breasts nor ass. They have at least one, and it’s usually breasts; big, full breasts. While I’d rate their ass as only respectable, they tended have a better idea how to accentuate it, choosing to wear thin, cotton dresses that made it seem bigger than it really was.

If you are into girls with oral fixations, Spain is your place. Not only do most of them smoke, but they all have piercings in the mouth area. There was no clear pattern of where they put it: some of them have it on their lip, some have it somewhere around their mouth, and others have it closer to their cheek. While American girls have the generic lower back tattoo, Spanish girls have the randomly placed mouth piercing. I think neither have considered the repercussions of their choice that may come with aging.

As you can see from the chart below, Spanish girls prove to be capable enough in enough categories to edge out Italian girls. Venezuelan women will retain the top spot because they possess all the qualities a horny assman needs. American girls, like usual, round out the bottom.

International Women I’ve Studied In Their Natural Habitat
American Girls Venezuelan Girls Italian Girls Spanish Girls
Hair
0
1
1
0
Eyes
0
0
1
1
Face
0
1
2
1
Breasts
1
1
0
2
Ass
1
2
0
0.5
Body Size
-1
0
1
1
Style
0
0
0
0
Bangability
1
2
1
1
Snobbiness
-1
1
-1
0
Makeup Abuse
0
1
0
1
Bride Worthiness
-1
1
1
1
Hairiness
1
0
0
0
Total
1
10
6
8.5

Spain Table of Contents

Part 1: The Terminal
Part 2: Red Lights
Part 3: Hostel Game
Part 4: Soy Americano
Part 5: La Tomatina
Part 6: Unsustainable Tourism
Part 7: Doner Kebab
Part 8: Lessons
Part 9: The Chart
Part 10: Fin

23 thoughts on “SPAIN: THE CHART (PART 9)

  1. Anonymous

    I’ve really loved reading all of your blogs about your trip! I just have one little point of contention with this one. Let’s be honest here, what do you really know about style?

  2. KassyK

    Ouch for us Americans…for someone that has lived in this area his whole life–you sure do have an interesting imagination on ALL American women. Hmm. Try different cities and THEM come back to us with a list.

  3. Chaco

    I think this could become a world-wide guide book before long. An anthropological study of the female species in different regions, focusing primarily on the differing characteristics they possess to attract a male mating partner.

  4. Anonymous

    There are hot American women just like any other country. But I think the difference is this: There are fewer hot women per capita in America than other countries; a good looking woman in America is much more likely to be snobby, rude, and possessing of what us guys like to call the “entitlement context.”

    That is my honest-to-goodness opinion. For the record I’ve lived in the UK, traveled all around Spain, France, some parts of Canada, Amsterdam, and up and down the East coast of the US.

    Maybe west-coast American women aren’t as snobby.

  5. Anonymous

    But I do think giving American women a 1 is a disgrace. Living with your parents until you are 30 (because you are Catholic) is so completely not sexy it isn’t even funny.

  6. Anonymous

    “One word can best describe Spanish girls: juicy. You just wanted to bite them. I would say they are two-thirds South American and one-third white, with a ratio that changes depending on where you are in Spain. Barcelona had less whiteness, which showed in curvier, darker women while Seville had more whiteness with the most blondes in all of Spain. Barcelona had the most beautiful girls, very closely followed by Granada.”

    Huh? Spanish girls are probably of mixed Indo-European and Arab/North African descent, not South American. 90ish percent of the country was inhabited by Moors for 800 years, hence the dark features.

    South Americans, on the other hand, are generally Native American Indian tribes that later mixed with the invading Spaniards/Portuguese and range from being very brown to white, depending on how much European ancestry a person had.

  7. TV-Addict

    If this is the case – why is it that when American women travel – men are throwing themselves at them? When I was in Europe this summer the men seemed to love my friend and I. They kept telling us how beautiful American women are…

  8. KassyK

    TV Addict–Same…every time I go abroad every foreign guy seems to think American women are amazing.

    But Anon makes a good point…Per capita of hotness, maybe there are less here so DCB–I’ll give you that–but in general…no WAY–DC just happens to be the mecca of unattractivenes.

  9. Roissy

    ukrainian/russian girls:

    hair 2
    eyes 2
    face 2
    breasts 1
    ass 1
    body size 2
    style 1
    bangability 2
    snobbiness -1 (but it’s all an act)
    makeup abuse 0
    bride worthiness 1
    hairiness 2

    total: 15

    we have a winner! spasebo.

  10. Oface

    Gotta agree with Lonny…Eastern Europe has some bangers with chests and backsides…Must be the potatoes and repressive regimes…

    South Americans, on the other hand, are generally Native American Indian tribes that later mixed with the invading Spaniards/Portuguese and range from being very brown to white, depending on how much European ancestry a person had.
    *********************************
    Also mixed with African (former slaves)which xplains the backside of Brazilians and Venezuelans..

  11. nabeel

    “every time I go abroad every foreign guy seems to think American women are amazing.”

    A wise man once said, “the grass looks greener on the other side”

  12. DCB Post author

    “If this is the case – why is it that when American women travel – men are throwing themselves at them?”

    Cause of the stereotype that american girls are stupid and easy. for european men, chasing them is like a sport — fun, but in the end, meaningless.

  13. Days of Broken Arrows

    I was just going to point out what DCB just wrote above. Foreign guys have told me this, point-blank. The fact that American women can’t suss this out proves they’re not as savvy as they think they are. I can’t tell you how many US women I know who have had affairs with men from toehr countries, only to find they disappeared or gave out wrong numbers.

  14. world traveler

    Not all American women are high-maintenance snobs, and not all foreign men are just looking for American cooch. I’ve had foreign guys follow me back to this country and no, I don’t rate as high as any kind of ‘venezualen’ on your chart. Sometimes (and I know this is hard to believe), guys really are looking for regular, nice, fun, smart women. Actually, in my experience, American men are much more likely to string a girl along to bang her than foreign men.

  15. Pingback: SPAIN: LA TOMATINA (PART 5) » DC Bachelor

  16. Rita

    “I don’t rate as high as any kind of ‘venezualen’ on your chart. Sometimes (and I know this is hard to believe), guys really are looking for regular, nice, fun, smart women.”
    -world traveler.

    She makes it sound as if Venezuelan women are not smart because we are beautiful and she, according to her own words, is probably not. Made me mad.

    I also noticed people were discussing the genetic heritage of South American people. It’s rather simple; the populations of Colombia, Brazil, and Venezuela are the result of a complex mixture of European (mainly Spanish and Portuguese), Amerindian, and African. In recent years many Asian and Middle Eastern people have blended in the society.
    Countries such as Ecuador and Peru have a mixture of European and Amerindian with less African blood. And countries like Argentina, well, they love to say they’re European.

    Love that you’ve been to my country. Next time you should really visit Los Roques Archipelago and La Gran Sabana.

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