I fit the exact profile the iPod is targeted to: 20-something hipster doofus with a standard job who goes to the gym, rides mass transit, and has gigabytes of pirated music that hasn’t been listened to in years (unlike the massive porn collection which gets daily action). At the gym my naked ears have to listen to Leonard the meathead grunt out his last set while iPodders listening to the Best of Milli Vanilli are oblivious to his homo-erotic mating calls.
The thing that gets me wanting an iPod is the news articles that quote people as saying their iPod is their most prized possession. All these people who proclaim that there is nothing else in the world more important than a glorified walkman – whose cost can feed an African family of four for a year – make me want to join the “Think Different” club long enough until my Che Guevara instinct of being rebellious, anti-establishment, and wanting to torture people kicks in. If I do get an iPod, and accept that my life is cookie-cutter enough to succumb to the latest marketing trend for my age-group, remind me that I have been defeated by corporate America. Yes, it’s that serious.