IT’S CALLED A CRUSH FOR A REASON

One of the most funnest things in the world is having crushes. Work crushes, friend crushes, unknown-person crushes – all are equally exhilarating and can provide endless hours of self-entertainment. It’s a sad time of year when I have not even a single crush. That said, I now have a new work crush – good luck trying to guess who it is, suckas – and let me tell you it is an incomparable high. Especially because I’ve met his girlfriend, and she is so ugly and plain, just the kind of person I would shake my head sadly at if I saw her out somewhere.

Having crushes in school was easy. You could plan your arrival/lunch/departure schedule to coincide with the object of crushdom, you could ask your friends to spy on him for you, and if you were particularly brave you could send them one of those pink “secret admirer” hearts on Valentine’s Day. Once you started driving, you could do psycho-runs by their house or soccer practice. Ahem, not that I would ever do any of these, I just heard about it from a friend.

In college, having crushes got even more fun because you could finagle an invite to a crush’s party or join the same student group. Additionally there was the added possibility of hooking up with the crush, or, in rare instances, actually dating the crush.

Being an adult makes crushing more and less difficult. It’s more difficult because now you’re facing the possibility that your crush is in a serious long-term relationship, or even married. There are those of us who might say “wives are not walls” but for the most part a significant other is an insurmountable obstacle. What with smaller social circles and less opportunity for non-work interaction, it’s unlikely that you can predict where your crush might be (and you can’t just keep showing up at his/her favorite bar… this might be rom-com behavior but it usually gets you hit with a restraining order in real life… again, not that I would know). On the other hand, having developed your google-searching skills, you might be able to dig up more information on an adult crush than on a younger crush.

Some of the saddest lessons I’ve had to learn came about as a result of crushes. For me, having a crush is usually completely pointless as it has never happened that a crush-object has reciprocated my undercover ardor. Also, I’ve had only one person ever admit to having a crush on me, which turned out badly, teaching me that you should probably never keep pressing people to tell you things like that (and that you will probably never ever guess who has a crush on you, because most people will never do anything about it).

Although, last Christmas, I experienced something akin to meeting Baby Jesus himself when a crush I’ve had since SIXTH GRADE and I got a hotel room together. Which is why, unproductive as they might be, I will never stop having crushes.

16 thoughts on “IT’S CALLED A CRUSH FOR A REASON

  1. KassyK

    I had a crush on someone for three years in college…good friends that flirted. Beautiful man…we all just oogled him constantly-then one night I found out he had a crush on me too. We hooked up-it was awful. Sometimes crushes work better from a distance. Fantasy is fun.

  2. holiday

    To quote Sixteen Candles: “If crushes were easy, they would call them something else.”

    I used to be the queen of crushes. Guys that I would totally put on a pedestal. I had a crush on a guy that I met on the bus in 5th grade, and I couldn’t seem to let go of until he married his high school sweetheart two years ago. But I think the thing is with a crush is that they’re usually out of your reach. Mine rarely knew I existed. I think I just liked secretly pining away for them like a movie star or something.

    I definitely miss having crushes. The butterflies in your stomach, getting all flustered when they walk into a room. It rarely happens anymore.

    However, I got to see my metro crush this morning. So cute. Always late for work. I am too, but lately I find myself trying to be late just so I can run into him. I don’t know a single thing about him, we’ve never talked. I just kind of like admiring him from afar and it makes my ride to work a little more scenic.

  3. V

    Nice post. Crushes are fun and also really time consuming. All the overanalyzing is just mind boggling. And, to quote the poetic artist Jennifer Paige:
    It’s just a little crush (crush)
    Not like I faint every time we touch
    It’s just some little thing (crush)
    Not like everything I do depends on you
    Sha-la-la-la, Sha-la-la-la

  4. Chaco

    I equate crushes with misery. Maybe it\’s different for girls, but for me, and I suspect many guys, it\’s a terrible feeling of disempowerment. You want so badly to talk to her…want so badly to ask her out…to kiss her…and yet you do nothing. Nothing at all. You just daydream sadly about what you want and never have the guts to do it. Then you see her holding hand with some other guy who was brave enough to do what you wanted to do for so long and you feel like the biggest loser ever. It sucks.

    I have learned to go for girls aggressively when I like them, and now I either find out she is not interested and I never become lamely infatuated, or I do end up kissing her and more. So much better.

  5. tommy

    a crush = weakness. It’s a waste of resources. Make a physical pass at your crush and if she rejects you, move on to another.

    READ “THE ART OF WAR”

  6. DCB

    For guys after the age of 20 or so, “crush” is no longer used. The correct term is “girl i want to bang”
    Only beta’s get crushes

  7. Mandy

    Crushes are a wonderful high…but when your pasty, middle-aged neighbor who lives with his mom drops hints that he knows your favorite food and worst fear because he googled your name, it?s time to delete your myspace account and change your phone number…other than that, it?s fun to fantasize about someone you know from time to time 😉

  8. Marc

    Sine sage-like blogger once told me – “Sometimes wanting something is better than having it”.

    It applies often.

  9. nolat

    crushes are hard. you do feel powerless. but you do get the chance to be a secret admirer. your body will tell you when the time is right. its a life lesson like anything else. have fun with life, forget all the sayings, we really dont know each other anyway.

  10. Ashlee

    ‘Nothing easy in the world is worth having’

    this is indeed true. so crushes are exhillerating. for a 16 year old girl especially there is nothing better than catching a boys eye for a week then suddenly they pluck up the courage and talk to you in the dinner que or on the bus. it is spontanious and something you wouldnt do and thers nothing better than when they reciprocate this fliry behaviour. however,like most things they can go rong and when they do they leave you feeling like the ugliest girl ever and all hope of happiness goes, but in a day or so you get over it. because it was only lust not love.

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