10. Look for the person in the room that is constantly checking their hair and makeup in the mirror when they think nobody’s watching ? because if the “look” is failing them, they sure won’t make up for their lack of funds with personality.
9. They wear Prada, get weekly pedicures and carry a Gucci ? but, if you checked their pay stub you’d see they’re only pulling in $38K/year. Image is everything, darlings.
8. The poseur is the one that goes to the bathroom at just the right time ? when the check is about to arrive.
7. People that want to be cool actually have their own “look.” Think Zoolander’s ‘Blue Steel’ pose. They have nothing better to do then practice sucking in their cheeks, pursing their mouths and staring vacantly. And they’ll quickly whip out that poseur pose quicker than you can “Say cheese!”
6. If s/he has a vehicle, the poseur will most likely have personalized plates. Why? Because they think it makes them look important. They also think people will admire the fact that they paid 10 extra bucks to get a piece of metal that features their favorite cool word ? misspelled.
5. These are the people that are always forgetting their purses and wallets.
4. The social-climbing poseur makes it a point to sign on with a local “talent” agency so that s/he can get a glorified wait-staff job at some ostentatiously stylish event. Then, when someone asks what they do, they can say “I’m a model.”
3. They are good at pretending they’re smart. They act the way they think smart people act (but you can see their clumsiness if you watch closely). They give a false appearance that they understand what you are saying, but, when it comes right down to it, they’re as dumb as door knobs. (Funny thing, how a tailored shirt and a pair of high-end glasses can make someone look smart ? from a distance.)
2. They can get into all the hot nightclubs and events ? not because they have money, and not because they received an invitation. They get into the hotspots (and get free drinks) because the bouncers are former co-workers, and the people behind the bar are former lovers. The poseurs have the appearance of knowing everyone and being VIPs because their last full-time job most likely involved checking coats, handing people towels in the restroom or bartending.
1. And, the number one way to spot a poseur? They might be driven a hot Beamer, but that’s because they don’t pay rent, baybee! Approximately 62% of poseurs are closing in on 30 (or 40 in some cases) and they *still* live at home.