Until recently, I’d never gone out with a man who didn’t trust me (or who lived in a different city). Sure, I have a million friends and a hundred parties, but just because said friends/parties are usually at a bar doesn’t mean I’m tarted up and out trying to get with other dudes. If Europe has cafe society, the U.S. – and especially DC – has bar society where the primary goal is to unwind and meet your friends. I mean, the people on “Cheers” weren’t there to get laid.

There are some women who are okay with possessive and jealous guys, and there are some women who are equally if not more possessive and jealous. But I’m not either of those women. And I don’t like being pushed around and told how to act in a “serious relationship”, especially when I’m not doing anything to warrant it. I can be a really shitty person, but I’m loyal through and through – I’ve never cheated on a boyfriend or anything close to it.

If you have a problem trusting someone – like for example you ever call back a number on their “received calls” list or read their texts when they’re not around – and you have no legitimate reason not to trust that person, then you have a problem. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a personal issue, but maybe representative of a lack of confidence in the nature of the relationship. But not trusting someone isn’t a thing that can be easily reversed, if at all. Like V said, if you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything.

17 thoughts on “TRUST AND RESPEK

  1. James

    What’s with all this girlie relationship whining? Take it to FDDC or TBS’s Sex In The City chat boards…you’re getting your estrogen all over my misogyny.

  2. Roissy

    every guy in a bar is there to get laid. EVERY ONE. even the married ones, if they could be assured of complete discretion and the chick was hot.

    every girl in a bar is there to display herself in case uber-alpha walks in the door.

    get over this whole “we’re just friends hanging out and having a good time”. you could do that in your living rooms for a fraction of the cost.


    Ugh. This blog has really gone downhill. DCB leaves for 10 days and Sally goes all period on us…God you suck; put up some picturees of you in a bikini at St. Tropez and please shut up…

  4. RCR

    “every guy in a bar is there to get laid.”

    Absolutely false. Even if I knew there was no way I could get laid at all (for example, if I lost my penis in a horrific boating accident) I’d still be at the bar hanging out with my friends.

  5. Anonymous

    Um, this applies to all you guys looking for foreign wives as well. If you can’t trust her to worship you and only you… since you are her meal ticket to US citizenship… you need to trade up.

  6. Captain Kirk

    Fo Real you do need to bust out the bikini shots because nobody gives a shit about trust. You want someone to demonstrate loyalty then grow a penile shaft and go to prison. Drop some soap at the 2 days a week shower and see if you can trust somebody..

  7. Stephen

    Like RCR said, not every guy in a bar wants to get laid. If I go to a bar, its because I’m with the fellas, and we could care less. Sure we’ll look, say jackass things, but we aren’t trying to get laid.

    *If* I was single, I’d try to get connected elsewhere where the odds are good and the goods ain’t odd, rather than in a bar or club, where the only thing you’re going to get is a special present at the doctor’s office…

  8. Roissy

    if your dick has fallen off, yeah, you aren’t looking to get laid. score one for that dazzling counterpoint.

    i didn’t say every guy was TRYING to get laid, i said they are all LOOKING, knowingly or not, meaning a lot of guys, due to inertia, scruples, or dick malfunctions, won’t put forth any effort but WILL accept a bone from a hottie if she were waist deep in hornymones and straddling his junk like a mechanical bull rider.

    to the happily engaged guys like chaco, at least you’re doing something productive with your time at the clubs, like learning salsa and keeping your skills from completely rusting away. 🙂

    there aren’t many married guys in bars anyhow, and the few i see always have that familiar look on their face that says “damn, what could i get away with here?”

  9. Roissy

    the looking is implied in the premise.

    grammar nitpicking — the last refuge of the debate team supastar.

  10. Stephen

    Roissy, how are we supposed to intepret “every guy in a bar is there to get laid” any other way? Sorry, but if you’re backtracking, unless you assume that we should be able to read your mind.

    And a mind-reader I ain’t.

    And you’re wholly wrong on your premise in general. I think you have an axe to grind or something.

  11. Roissy

    the premise of life is to fuck.

    ever cross the verrazano bridge? it was the embedded urge to fuck that created it. mona lisa? same thing. roomba? ditto.

    men are creators. women are inspirers.

    the axe i have to grind is with reality-deniers and wishful thinkers. nothing more, nothing less. what this means is that even happily-married guys, if assured COMPLETE DISCRETION (which, admittedly, is nearly impossible), would fuck around if the mark was hot enough.

    i’ll concede there is a tiny window of brain chemistry-altering love where a guy doesn’t even notice other women. that guy is not at a bar with his buddies. he’s wrapped in the embrace of his lover.

  12. Stephen


    It’s pretty obvious that you have some man-hating going on here. Women inspire and men create? Inspiration and creativity are embedded in both sexes, and they BOTH do them.

    But I suppose, in your world, a guy can’t possibly be faithful to his woman in the presence of a hot and horny Jessica Alba. Nope. Totally impossible.

    Grow up.

  13. Oface

    Man who gives a fuck….Go Buckeyes Beat Texas……

    Hook that dead meat….Yee Haw

    Go Buckeyes Beat Texas…………..

  14. aurelgrooves

    amen, sister!
    it is quite possible to go to a bar and knock over drinks and break chairs and wrestle and give atomic wedgies at a bar with your friends without hooking up with them. i do it all the time.

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