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TURN THE BOOKSTORE INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIBRARY

You probably have a container or display unit somewhere in your house with beautiful books you haven’t touched in years. You are proud when a guest or date remarks on your growing collection, a monument to the intelligent person you could have become. Today’s life tip will smash down that monument and turn you into a more practical person that does not waste trees or money.

When I want to read a book, I do not purchase it. I go to the bookstore, find it on the shelf, and start reading. When I am done with a session after an hour or so I take out my notepad and write down what page I’m on. When I return, I grab the book again (I already know where it is) and repeat the process until I finish it. I have most recently done this with Blink, Freakonomics, and Purple Cow. I recently started on Confessions of an Economic Hit Man.

There are four advantages of my mooch system:

1. It’s free. Bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders are so large and impersonal that you are not spotted as a moocher. Money saved a year = $400 (two books a month).

2. It forces you to only read the best. You are surrounded with so many good options that you never have to commit yourself to a bad book. Your time in the bookstore is limited so you don’t want to waste it.

3. It allows you to pretend you have a life by getting out of the house. Plus you can stare at that one hot girl employee who stocks the travel section by going up and down those step-stool things. And then she bends over to add the new Fodors edition of Western Europe and you can just make out that she is wearing Victoria’s Secret underwear.

4. Access to sweets. Mediocre espresso drinks and baked goods trucked in from a mystery factory are just a few feet away.

I do have principles: I return the book to the shelf when I’m done and am very careful not to damage the book. If I really like the book I will buy it so the author can be rewarded for his or her work. This hasn’t happened yet but I’m sure it will some day.

I would borrow books from the library, but have you noticed the condition they’re in? You know some dude was reading that copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad in the bathroom after jerking off. No thanks.

 
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194 Comments »
holiday
9 years, 4 months ago

You shouldn’t feel that bad. Barnes & Nobles trains their employees to not bother customers. That’s why you always have to go looking for them when you need help. Borders has an employee borrow system for their books anyways. It basically is a library. You can borrow any hardcover book for two weeks for free and then bring it back.

I usually buy my books from half.com, because I don’t mind if they are used.

Is this one of your “life-crunchers” or something DCB?

9 years, 4 months ago

Libraries are full of contaminated books, thats for sure…stay away unless you are someone that can ignore that kind of thing…

I could never just pick up a book though in a library and then put it back if its that good after an hour…I love to read–hands down fave thing so if Im hooked on the book I want to read it on the bus, the metro, at home, during my lunch hour. This theory could not work for me, but I guess its possible for busier, less nerdy people than me.
:-(

9 years, 4 months ago

Like KassyK said, it’s hard to use your method on my daily commute to and from exburbia.

TC

9 years, 4 months ago

Yeah, I agree with Holiday. When I worked at B&N, we knew who the moochers were. It’s not that hard to spot. But you are a.spending money at the cafe (ps they baked all the cookies in the store) and b.not bothering people, so we didn’t really care. Now the student moochers who pretended we were a library, pulled out 18 books, stayed for 6 hours, and didn’t put a single thing away? Those people we hated and performed secret curses on.

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

:= DCB..you actually have that much time to spend each month at these book stores.. reading these books, yet not purchasing them? Do the pages get dog eared? I don’t think I could do that especially if it’s a good read. Now that I’ve read your post.. I’ll probably make a mental note to notice other DCBism moochers when I walk in to the bookstore.

9 years, 4 months ago

I buy used books, so I’m not really spending that much money. It’s worth it to me to read my cheap ass book in bed before I go to sleep.

Anonymous
9 years, 4 months ago

LOL :wideyes:

9 years, 4 months ago

I have done this with books I’m too embarrassed to be caught buying, such as “The Washingtonienne”, “Bergdorf Blondes”, and “The Game”… luckily the Borders on 18th and L is very close to work AND they have pumpkin chai.

I prefer to buy only books that look smart on my bookshelf.

9 years, 4 months ago

Sally–Ok I got sucked into doing this ONCE…as I am a voracious reader and love interesting books (^^see BIG words) but I read almost the entire content of “The Game” in the store as I was too embarrassed to actually buy it…

Madelyn
9 years, 4 months ago

DCB, just curious. What DO you spend money on?

9 years, 4 months ago

what a novel idea!

thank you, thank you. i’m here all night. try the veal.

fanman
9 years, 4 months ago

You really need to bring back your reading list. 48 Laws, Mean Genes, Tipping Point, and a lot of my other current favorites came off your list.

Sweatpants
9 years, 4 months ago

Just buy books from Half.com. Much easier.

9 years, 4 months ago

It helps if you’re a speed reader 😀 I do it all the time. I never have to go back to finish though . . .

Also, most nonfiction books have only one or two main theses, and if you can grasp them quickly, the rest is just fluff you can skip.

I don’t recommend this tactic with good literature, which should be savored slowly like a good piece of chocolate.

9 years, 4 months ago

Ok, i’ve been doing this for long time so I don’t feel bad anymore. Its just I hate the magazine section and the long ass bench that the same 5 people sit on forever. What man reads Jane magazine????????

Anonymous
9 years, 4 months ago

:)

Anonymous
9 years, 4 months ago

:) =

holiday
9 years, 4 months ago

btw, sally: I love Jessica Cutler. I think the Washingtonienne and her blog are hilarious. I met her at her book signing and have an autographed copy of the Washingtonienne. Those types of books are good for swapping. They have little substance, but are fun light reads. I usually trade them with the women in my office.

Holiday Inez
9 years, 4 months ago

Jessica Cutler seems like a vapid skank, but “The Washingtonienne” was an incredibly entertaining read.

Don’t flame me. Note that I said “seems like” rather than “is.” She might be a sweetheart for all I know.

gisella
9 years, 4 months ago

You are the biggest more obnoxious hypocrite. Unfortunately I read your post regarding the diamond industry. While it is true that many diamonds are conflict ridden, some of us have purchased Canadian Non Conflict diamonds, because we do care about world issues. Since we are on the topic, do you have any idea where your clothes, shoes and home accessories were made? I am sure your home is filled with conflict ridden merchandise which supports evil in the world.

Perhaps some women do want a beautiful piece of jewelry to be admired but most men love to show off as well. Of course they are not interested in showing off to their friends what type of ring they bought, but instead you can often hear them bragging about the kind of women they ?pumped and dumped? or the type of women they are dating or banging or hope to bang. Both men and women are guilty of having standards that are far too high, and bragging except women do it with material objects and men do it to the opposite sex, I would rather objectify an OBJECT, instead of a person, like many men do.

The point of an engagement ring is to buy something that you can afford once you have obtained your home, cars and paid for your college debt. If someone can afford a nice ring, then I say go and enjoy it. Of course you will never know what that experience is like since you have committed yourself to being a bachelor. What is a bachelor anyways? Well after reading this blog it is a spinster with a penis. Yes, you DCB are a spinster, you are just as bad as the spinster women you insult.

I have to laugh at this blog since you expect the utmost in women. Beautiful, educated, cultured, stunning creatures. Yet what do you have to offer them? You insist women stay fit and sexy post marriage, yet you who have never even been pregnant look like a scraggly mess. What’s yoru excuse?

FYI, I was raised in Italy and and come from a very traditional home life where were learned at an early age the value of family and marriage and domestic skills, but I don?t know a single European woman who would waste their efforts on someone who sees relationships as a one way street the way you do. European women work hard at their marriages, homes and bodies but we except something in return.

9 years, 4 months ago

It’s a brilliant idea, except I kind of like to sit and eat cheetos while I read. I feel like that might be frowned upon.

gisella
9 years, 4 months ago

Oh and I should mention that when I got engaged and married I had no engagement ring, simply because we had other financial priorities. I purchased my ring after 4 years of successful marriage since it was finally the right time financially.

gisella
9 years, 4 months ago

Oh yes and the hypocrisy continues. You mention how status ladden American women are with their Louis Vuitton Etc. Do you know that Louis Vuitton and the likes are made, designed and sold mostly in Europe with the European market in mind? Chanel, Versace, Prada is European. European women adore high fashion, and that comes with a price. We love beautiful art, food, clothing etc but then you insult us and call us materialistic.

fanman
9 years, 4 months ago

What does that have to do with books?

9 years, 4 months ago

looks like someone just discovered the blog :laugh:

fanman: I plan on bringing back all my reviews again soon as I’ve stepped up my reading lately… so it’s in the works

9 years, 4 months ago

FYI, I was raised in Italy and and come from a very traditional home life where were learned at an early age the value of family and marriage and domestic skills

**************************************
Not according to the Godfather parts 1-3, Goodfellas, The Untouchables, and Rocky 4.

gisella
9 years, 4 months ago

O-face: Yes movies, especially American ones are the source for all lessons on culture:)

9 years, 4 months ago

hey gisella stop being an idiot and post in the CORRECT thread. the diamonds topic is only a couple posts down.

for someone who is so enlightened i find it hard to believe you can’t grasp this very simple concept

9 years, 4 months ago

Gisella I was just playing around. I’m not dumb enough to believe what I see in movies……usually. Except for Jaws and Superman III, that was real.

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

:) There seems to be alot of verbal spankings going on in here

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

DCB… why can’t I seem to use the smiley legend in here?

Obvious
9 years, 4 months ago

Gisella, post a picture or get lost. No time for idiot women unless they are smokin’!

9 years, 4 months ago

Jada: most smilies have to be preceded by a space

“:) ”
:)

9 years, 4 months ago

Confessions of an Economic Hitman confirms all our worst fears about the US.

Your free book idea isnt bad, but all the good seats are always taken at the big bookstores.

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

“:) ” I hope this works

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

good grief.. it didn’t work. and i did the space thing.

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

:)

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

” banana ” I hope this works…

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

” 😉 “

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

” :hump: ” Let’s see if this one works.

Jada
9 years, 4 months ago

” :banana: ” I really want to make this banana dude dance.

9 years, 4 months ago

you don’t have to use quotes

BN employee
9 years, 4 months ago

I work at BN in college-student-heavy part of DC. My coworkers and I are pretty adept at spotting moochers aka “the cheap-ass regulars”. Most of the time, they grab arm-loads, skim through the books, bending the spines (CRIMINAL!) and glaring at us if we try to recover some books to their respective shelves (after asking, of course).

The fact is, it isn’t a library–it’s a bookSTORE. We also dislike the magazine hogs who bring them into the cafe, get coffee, brownie, and mayonnaise all over the pages and then leave them there. Here’s the thing…nothing is free. The more we return damaged books and magazines to publishers, the more expensive they get. The cost of the damage inflicted by moochers is built-in to the price! Lucky for me, I get 30% off of all books and mags and we can borrow a hardcover for two weeks to boot.

Try working at a bookstore for a week or two and see how much the moochers will get on your nerves!

9 years, 3 months ago

“The more we return damaged books and magazines to publishers, the more expensive they get. The cost of the damage inflicted by moochers is built-in to the price!”

A concern that doesn’t affect the moochers.

Moochers mooch on!

9 years, 3 months ago

apparently they realized this technique up in Canada. When Chapters was having financial trouble they took out all the chairs. Now that indigo took over their even less friendly than before.

P
8 years, 7 months ago

I’ve been mooching for years. Why not? I’ve bought a lot of books and magazines through the years; probably close to a thousand, so I figure I’ve paid my dues to mooch. My buying days are mostly over, though. Once in a while I will buy a book, but only if the markdown is at least 75%.

It’s best to mooch in a huge metropolitan area as I do. Mooching in a small town of say 100,000 is a bad idea. It’s just not worth the dirty looks from the Barnes & Noble staff. Most small towns have only one or two bookstores, and you don’t want to live there.

Where I live, Barnes and Noble must have 30 bookstores, so I systematically mooch on a random basis. I’ll hit every bookstore in a time frame of two to three months. Most Barnes and Noble bookstores have a huge turnover in staff, so I’m a new moocher most of the time. When employees graciously smile at me, I know I’m in moocher bookstore heaven.

I must admit that some of the staff does have a propensity to take the books away from me at least once an hour. I generally have 20 books and magazines stacked on a table. This seems to happen more frequently when the store is going to close at 11:00 P. M.

I think bookstores are a better venue to meet people. For me, bars are at the bottom of the list to find dating material.

P

P
8 years, 7 months ago

Oh! I forgot to mention one subject that really irritates me.

Many chain-bookstores today sell CDs, in addition to books and magazines. I have yet to find a Barnes & Noble that is not playing a CD when I make a graceful entrance through the front doors. Hopefully, a music-free Barnes & Noble does exist somewhere, but so far it’s alluded me. I like a music-free, peaceful environment when I mooch.

You would logically think that a bookstore would play one CD. No! No! Sometimes, that’s not the case at all. One Barnes & Noble where I mooch quite a bit plays two CDs at the same time. Generally, Devil-awful heavy metal noise is playing in one area of the bookstore, and beautiful, soothing New Age music in another. Whatever the genre of music, it’s always loud. Always!

I know I’m a moocher and everything, but why can’t they turn the music down? Sometimes, I do have the distinct feeling that they’ll turn the volume up so I’ll walk out and leave. The nerve of them! That does take balls. That’s just not fair! Moochers should have a few rights in this world.

Another thing! Barnes & Noble should hire a better class of people. It’s always the young guys, with nose rings and and pierced tongues, who are playing the heavy metal music. I’ve also noticed that chain-bookstores must be the largest employers of Goths. Since I mooch, I’m not near the cash register very often, but I do see a lot of Goth-appearing folks at the cash register.

I don’t want to get too close to the cash register, because the employees will think I’m a buyer and not a moocher. I don’t want to get their hopes up too high.

P

rpbmcse
8 years, 3 months ago

[Cool staff!||Hi! I think this need for || Help me with – ||Hello….||I find this – || It`s realy cool!]

7 years, 8 months ago

moviepost.cok

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

What is with you people? If this were your business would you be so proud.

Barnes and noble is a business.
Those people working there depend on selling books to make there money.

What’s up with this attitude?
No it’s not okay.

You can not sit and read and never buy.
You can not bring food from outside stores, park your behind and make a mess for others to clean up and never spend a penny.
This is a bookstore the concept there is SELLING BOOKS.
If Books don’t sell what is the point of bookstore staying open. How narrow minded can you get?
You’re all proud of your scam as you take advantage of a business and laugh. You are part of the entitled generation that is driving our economy into the toilet.

If you get everyone to buy into to you scam than he book store will disappear. You will be forced to free load elsewhere and those employees you like to bird dog will be unemployed thanks to your bad attitude and your selfish actions.

Your right up there with all the folks that like to vent I’ll just buy it online.
Well hers a thought if you all do that and save the extra 5% that it cost the bookstore to fund he poor soul that has to clean up behind you mooching behind.

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

You make me so made I can’t spell
ARG!!!!!!!!!!!

Go ahead drive the buisness toclose their doors I am sure you’ll move on to the next place you can get a free ride.

JERK

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

I hope the next time you freeload in the book store you park your behind in the chair the homeless dude relieved himself in.

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

Why don’t you try taking your PB&J and parking yourself in Applebee’s see if they let you ride. You know you can plunk down in a grocery store aisle and read their books too.
I am sure managers will ignore you. After all some how you’re special.
What’s the difference just pick up the book and walk out you might as well.

You’ll be the first to gripe when the bookstore take out the comfy chairs because of the free loaders!!!!!!
ARG!!!!!!!!!!!
What is up with you guys?
You talk like you should be proud and your not hurting anyone.
OPEN YOUR EYES!

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

arg!

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

If everyone stars buying online the book stores will close.

It’s simple the books sell the store can pay its bills they don’t it closes.

It’s not a library or a park
It’s a business. GET IT

Bookstores are a treasure.

mimi
7 years, 6 months ago

Apparently when I am mad I miss a few t’s and r’s when I type.
It’s just so hard for me not to scream that you’re an idiot.
Some of us are fighting to keep our jobs in an economy that is slowly shutting the few great things we have down.
You are not helping you are hurting the business.
Even when you’re cute about it.
Bookstores are a treat not to be taken advantage of but to be appreciated.
I hate the idea that stupidity could easily cause these places to close. Besides when you occupy a chair for hours freeloading you drive away a potential buyer who simply wanted to sit and review the book before they purchase it.
GET IT.

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