TURN THE BOOKSTORE INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIBRARY

You probably have a container or display unit somewhere in your house with beautiful books you haven’t touched in years. You are proud when a guest or date remarks on your growing collection, a monument to the intelligent person you could have become. Today’s life tip will smash down that monument and turn you into a more practical person that does not waste trees or money.

When I want to read a book, I do not purchase it. I go to the bookstore, find it on the shelf, and start reading. When I am done with a session after an hour or so I take out my notepad and write down what page I’m on. When I return, I grab the book again (I already know where it is) and repeat the process until I finish it. I have most recently done this with Blink, Freakonomics, and Purple Cow. I recently started on Confessions of an Economic Hit Man.

There are four advantages of my mooch system:

1. It’s free. Bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders are so large and impersonal that you are not spotted as a moocher. Money saved a year = $400 (two books a month).

2. It forces you to only read the best. You are surrounded with so many good options that you never have to commit yourself to a bad book. Your time in the bookstore is limited so you don’t want to waste it.

3. It allows you to pretend you have a life by getting out of the house. Plus you can stare at that one hot girl employee who stocks the travel section by going up and down those step-stool things. And then she bends over to add the new Fodors edition of Western Europe and you can just make out that she is wearing Victoria’s Secret underwear.

4. Access to sweets. Mediocre espresso drinks and baked goods trucked in from a mystery factory are just a few feet away.

I do have principles: I return the book to the shelf when I’m done and am very careful not to damage the book. If I really like the book I will buy it so the author can be rewarded for his or her work. This hasn’t happened yet but I’m sure it will some day.

I would borrow books from the library, but have you noticed the condition they’re in? You know some dude was reading that copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad in the bathroom after jerking off. No thanks.

194 thoughts on “TURN THE BOOKSTORE INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIBRARY

  1. mimi

    You make me so made I can’t spell
    ARG!!!!!!!!!!!

    Go ahead drive the buisness toclose their doors I am sure you’ll move on to the next place you can get a free ride.

    JERK

  2. mimi

    I hope the next time you freeload in the book store you park your behind in the chair the homeless dude relieved himself in.

  3. mimi

    Why don’t you try taking your PB&J and parking yourself in Applebee’s see if they let you ride. You know you can plunk down in a grocery store aisle and read their books too.
    I am sure managers will ignore you. After all some how you’re special.
    What’s the difference just pick up the book and walk out you might as well.

    You’ll be the first to gripe when the bookstore take out the comfy chairs because of the free loaders!!!!!!
    ARG!!!!!!!!!!!
    What is up with you guys?
    You talk like you should be proud and your not hurting anyone.
    OPEN YOUR EYES!

  4. mimi

    If everyone stars buying online the book stores will close.

    It’s simple the books sell the store can pay its bills they don’t it closes.

    It’s not a library or a park
    It’s a business. GET IT

    Bookstores are a treasure.

  5. mimi

    Apparently when I am mad I miss a few t’s and r’s when I type.
    It’s just so hard for me not to scream that you’re an idiot.
    Some of us are fighting to keep our jobs in an economy that is slowly shutting the few great things we have down.
    You are not helping you are hurting the business.
    Even when you’re cute about it.
    Bookstores are a treat not to be taken advantage of but to be appreciated.
    I hate the idea that stupidity could easily cause these places to close. Besides when you occupy a chair for hours freeloading you drive away a potential buyer who simply wanted to sit and review the book before they purchase it.
    GET IT.

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