1. Cute face, long hair, big ass. Breasts are not important unless you are heavy set, but in that case I wouldn’t be dating you anyway. (99% of female readers are disqualified from this step alone.)
2. Leaves immediately after sex.
3. Not a status-driven cunt.
4. Sex juice that smells like garden herbs.
5. Not an overachiever. You need to make time and energy for me, not your lame “career.”
6. Not a dirty whore. It’s okay if you are a whore (what girl isn’t?) as long as you’re not too dirty. I don’t want the herp.
7. Vagina tight like a man’s anus.
8. Must not mind hanging out twice a month at the most.
9. Extra petite so it appears that I am like a baby’s arm.