A week and a half ago the worst thing happened to me. No, I didn’t get knocked up; I got a flat tire. Boo. I was at the intersection in the only left turning lane by N. Lynn St. right by the Key Bridge. I was looking pretty cute because I got all dressed up for a dinner date. I looked something like this:


Well, thank God for AAA because they were gonna come in 2 hours! I decided to play a game to see how many guys would offer to help me change my tire. Well, men of DC, you have sorely disappointed me.

The first person to ask if I needed help was a Mexican – man do I love foreigners! He probably could have changed my tire and my oil and cleaned my car. He was driving a van, who knows what (who) was in the back. I turned him down, sadly, because I had to continue with my research. Then a guy who was walking – again foreign! He asked if he could change my tire and I turned him down as well.

Okay, so I coach gymnastics, and I carry my equipment around with me. So guess what I had in my car at the time? A trampoline and a “mailbox” mat. I looked like I was a naughty girl carrying around all this stuff. I recieved many comments from cars driving by about my trampoline. One group of thugged-out white boys my age in a pimped Escalade stopped at the light. The first and only thing they asked was, “Babe, what’s the trampoline for?” I told them I taught gymnastics classes to adults in the nude, and then I told them to fuck off.

I made a quick call to Sally who told me I should try to get people to take my photo. Sadly, this did not work. I tried: I applied lipstick and jumped on my tramp but the only people who offered had cell phones.

The best part of my 3 hours gymnastics show (yes, I waited for 3 long hours), was when the cops came and set up flares! I felt soooo cool and I really wished I had a camera. You should have seen the people pass by and stare. Was there and accident? Where is the other car? Why is there a trampoline? I bet this was what they were asking themselves.

This guy who had been stalking me (he passed me four times within an hour) pulled over and was like I will change you tire. So, I decided AAA was not coming and thank God the cop came back because this guy was very frightening. The cop asked me what the trampoline was for too; I told him the truth, I didn’t want to get arrested for teaching nude gymnastics. 🙂

So, my conclusion is that I saw far too many attractive guys driving very nice cars pass by without stopping to help. Where have all the real men gone? They are all metroed out with American Crew hair gel with their fancy clothes and manicured nails. You could’ve gotten laid by changing my tire! Sike….

By the way, I can change my own tire. Seriously, I was just doing research. But next time I get a flat this is what I will be wearing:


With Love, Dasha

36 thoughts on “WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?

  1. Anonymous

    The question should be “where have all the rich good looking men gone”? What’s your problem? Seems like 2 “foreign” people offerred to help you. Were they not good looking enoough to touch your car?

  2. Steve Lurkel

    If I’m rich and good-looking, I know I’m going to get mine regardless. So why should I get my hands dirty helping you? To improve my karma? Pleeease, my name ain’t Earl.

  3. nabeel

    :laugh: are you resorting to getting flat tires to meet guys? here’s an easier way… go to a bar by yourself or with a girlfriend, and sit there and look all pretty with an empty stool next to you.

  4. Jay

    Wow. Seem had I stopped you’d think I was gonna rob ya, even if I was in a suit. People poss me off like that. Can’t even have a well dressed young black (and pretty good looking) guy stop for a girl in a broken-down car. She’d be holding the mace at me the whole time. This town is crazy. Next time, creak down near 5th and G. I’ll come and test my theory.

  5. Wendy

    oh, and I guess in answer to your question; driving away from you wondering why the hell you didn’t let them change your tire.

  6. Days of Broken Arrows

    Why would you need a man to change your tire? According to the TV commercials and such, women are supposedly better at this. All men can do is fall down and act like incompetent schlubs. Maybe the men have given up helping women, because there is no need.

    And as for why most guys didn’t stop — I would assume any female that needed help was planning on setting me up somehow.
    I know people who have been robbed and beaten up trying to assist a “helpless” women. Then there are the fale accusers.

    Verdict: Police are paid to help people and men should let them help women and not volunteer.

  7. Lou P.

    This is yet another reminder to me of why DCB shouldn’t have guest writers on here. “Waah, most of the guys wouldn’t stop to help me.” Maybe they saw you give the thanks-but-no-thanks treatment to the two Mexican guys?

    Women demand to be given equal treatment and not be looked at as weak or needy, but then something like this happens and men are chided for not meeting some ridiculous stereotype. You can’t have it both ways.

    I’m with Nabeel, next time write about your adventures at a bar so it’s at least semi-relevant to the site.

  8. Heather

    Are you serious? Did the two nice Mexican men who stopped to help you not count because they were foreign? Jumping on a trampoline to get attention? Way to perpetuate the helpless female stereotype.

  9. TC the Terrible

    Women demand to be given equal treatment and not be looked at as weak or needy, but then something like this happens and men are chided for not meeting some ridiculous stereotype. You can?t have it both ways.

    Exactly what I was planning to type. It also sounds like you were looking more for a future date/lay to change your tire, than just trying to see how long it would take a ‘good man’ to offer.

    The picture you posted is cute enough, but if bouncing on the trampoline didn’t get you help there might be more serious issues that we don’t know about.

  10. han

    I hope this is a joke. Because if you seriously turned down two “foreigners”, you’d be a shallow cunt.

  11. Dasha

    Ok. Like I said in my post, I was waiting for AAA to come, that is why I turned these people down. I turned it into research after I called AAA. I am not shallow enough to purposely get a flat tire to get a date or get laid….that is a waste of time. I could do it quicker by asking DCB how he does it. Right?

  12. daedalus

    I got a flat a couple of weeks ago around 12th and Mass NW, and I didn’t wait more than five minutes before a young, cute, white (since that’s the research) guy changed my tire for me. And the “foreigner” I asked as soon as I pulled over refused. (He was Salvadorian, just like most of the Latinos in DC. The guy that offered to help you was probably Salvadorian, too. It’s like calling a Japanese person “Chinese”.)

  13. Vikas Garg

    I am guessing, I am the first foreigner commenting on this post .. no I am not a Mexican (can be mistaken to be one), and no I am not offended by reading that you turned down the 2 foreigners, if it was just for the experiment and not because of the ethnicity!

    Your post just reminded me of a question, Why are people (particularly here in US and mostly man) reluctant to ask for help?

    I was walking back home and I saw these 2 guys trying to push their van in the garage, it was kind of uphill and I saw them struggling for 10 minutes. After a while I decided to ask them if they needed help and the response I got in a rough voice ‘if you want to’ – as if they were doing me a favor by taking my help !! Well I did help them and they said ‘Thank you’ that I never expected!

    I believe I would have stopped to help you, but not if you were jumping on your trampoline 🙂

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  15. Karl Weiss

    Why aren’t you asking why no women stopped to help you?

    Why should you expect men to help but not women?

    “I told them I taught gymnastics classes to adults in the nude, and then I told them to fuck off.”

    Maybe you wear your attitude toward men like a flag, so that they all decide to give you the by before you can tell them to fuck off too.

  16. DC Bachelor

    Wow. So if this post wasn’t intended to get you hate every time we see you in public, then you are just retarded. If I ever run into you at a bar, I surely won’t offer you a drink, and I won’t offer you an apology if my drink happens to fall on you.

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