I don’t like calling out people but I gotta call out CPMC contributor El Greco. He is an idiot who wins the prize for “Most likely to be the emotional tampon.” Follow his writing if you want to learn how to give your manhood to a woman you barely know.
“But wait, if you read the comments you’ll see that a lot of people agree with him.”
Yeah, females and guys who are still holding out for their soul mate. OF COURSE a girl is going to commend a guy for advocating a gentlemanly approach to dating. OF COURSE she’ll agree when a guy says men should go out of their way to please a woman. But at the end of the night she’s going to be fucking that idiot in the corner who gave her no attention and hit on that blonde bimbo for half the night. El Greco is the chump who works hard for it when his date has given it up so easily in the past.
Let’s take a look at some of the advice he’s written…
On inviting her over: “It takes planning and thought. You aren?t inviting the guys over for poker and cigars. Momentous issues hang in the balance. You?re on stage, pal. This is no time to screw it up. Is that enough pressure?”
I never thought a guy would view a date like planning for a shuttle trip to the moon. You think the girl really cares about what’s in your house? The most action I ever got in my life was when I had a file cabinet as a night stand… A FILE CABINET.
On first impressions: “Women can see dirt that is invisible to men, don?t ask me how, just take my word for it. You don?t want to flunk in the first 60 seconds of the evening.”
What a shame that a grown man feels so insecure in the presence of a woman. Hey buddy, she doesn’t care. Even if she says she does, she’s just talking nonsense and doesn’t know what she really wants.
On playing music for her: “You should have music playing on your stereo?something light and hip?jazz, Jack Johnson, or Sinatra.”
Nothing like Ol’ Blue Eyes to get a girl wet. Is the average CPMC reader 25 or 65?
On table manners: “No elbows on the table. No picking at your teeth. Etc. If you are not up to snuff with table manners, either learn them real quick or better yet, send your lovely dinner guest over to my place.”
The girl I’m trying to get drunk across my dining room table does not care if I put my elbow on the table. Sure I got flaws, but I’ll let a woman tell me to fix my table manners when she works on her issues first. For instance, I don’t really like it when you give me fungal rashes.
On getting a drink: “When the bartender serves your drinks, hand the lady her drink if it is close to you. Look her in the eyes and clink your glass to hers. Say ?Cheers,? or ?Great to see you again.? If she is wearing something fashionable, her hair looks great, or she has some cool shoes, then compliment her.”
What lame advice. Did you get that from an old James Bond movie?
On getting her another drink: “Notice when her glass is getting low before it is empty. Say nothing, but casually gesture to the bartender, lightly touching the side of her glass.”
Then watch the happy look on her face when she calculates how many more free drinks she will get out of you.
On checking out other girls: “There are often other women in the bar. Some of them are looking pretty good. Whatever you do, don?t get caught checking out other babes. Fight the urge to look. If you have to look, be ultra discreet. This has been many a guy?s downfall.”
You impress no one by fighting the urge. In fact, you appear whipped and weak, ready to shutdown your horny instinct because one girl agreed to go out on a date with you. If there is a beautiful woman in front of me you better believe I’m going to look, no matter who I’m with. And I expect women to do the same (cause they do).
On conversation: “You have two ears and one mouth?so listen twice as much as you speak.”
Generic advice you find in any self-help book.
If you do the opposite of what this “lady’s man” says, you will get more women then you can possibly handle. Maybe one day he will realize that all the bullshit he learned from the movies and his mother isn’t what women really care about, and that he is overcompensating because he believes a woman won’t like him for who he really is. Who would have thought that the lame “be yourself” advice I’ve been hearing all my life is actually the way.
CPMC members: don’t let this “gentleman” bring your page down any further. He’s awful.